Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop

Frank Roth Male, 82, Canada (10/29/2005 6:25:00 PM)

Hi folks. I am a very recent member. I would like an objective evaluation of my poem. please be honest. thanks. Frank Roth

Find Me In My Poems

You will find me in my poems
If you take the time to see
There’s a little bit of my life
In every one you read

So do not be a stranger
Come on in and close the door
Read about my life of danger
And about the days of yore

You will find some bits and pieces
That could only come from me
And if you look more closely
You may find a family tree

I have never wrote a poem
Till with cancer was diagnosed
Then God granted me this favour
To make my life the most

And if you ever wonder
Whats become of me these days
I may be living up in heaven
Thinking up another phrase

Frank Roth

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Replies for this message:

Mary Nagy (11/17/2005 5:48:00 AM) Post reply
I believe I've left a comment on this poem but I'll say it again Frank.......I love it! Great work! Sincerely, Mary
Dr. A.celestine Raj Manohar Md (11/4/2005 3:28:00 PM) Post reply
Dear Frank,
may i suggest that you maintain a 7/6/7/5 syllabic count in each stanza and your poem could become more melodious, i feel.
Dr John Celes
You'll find me in my poems,
If time you take to read;
There is a bit of my life,
In every one you read.

So do not be a stranger,
Come in and close the door;
Do read my life of danger,
About my days of 'yore.
Jessica H (11/3/2005 5:36:00 PM) Post reply
I like this poem I think it's good but the use of the word yore in the second stanza seems a bit awkward and also in the first stanza the rhyme scheme is a little off. That is my opinion not necessarily any better myself.
Ernestine Northover (10/31/2005 1:47:00 PM) Post reply
Hi Frank, This is a nice slick poem, I think the last line of the first stanza seems a little bit unfinished, and doesn't quite rhyme with the second line, as in the other stanzas. The line 'I have never wrote a poem', isn't quite correct, grammer wise, I would say, 'I've never written a poem'. In the last line of the first stanza, I would perhaps write, 'In each one you read from me' which would then rhyme with 'see' in the second line. Whether this helps I don't know, but I only intend to give good advice which is up to you to use if you think it's OK. Enjoy your poetry writing, it's great fun! Sincerely Ernestine Northover

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