Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop
(10/31/2005 1:58:00 PM)
Hi Jessica, This is a really lovely poem, and my only comment is regarding the last two stanzas. Third stanza - I would perhaps start with the line 'spiralng downward, slowly descending, Incomprehension of how it could end, Analyze whole relationship until ending, Hatred for him becomes your new best friend. It flows better and matches up with the first two stanzas. Do the same with the last stanza, 'You realize one day you are tired of crying, Then the broken heart starts to recover, Tired of hating, and of over analyzing, Life moves on, often with a new lover'. These are my comments for what the are worth. Sincerely Ernestine Northover
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- I hate to ask but is this personal experience... no never mind I don't want to know.