Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop
(4/12/2005 11:56:00 AM)
I personally lean towards Version II as the stronger poem in terms of rhythm, expression, and tone. While the first is well executed, its broken lines indicative of an almost jagged meter. It is also less concise than its counterpart. Version II, by contrast, allows for an intuitive appreciation of flow, meter, and internal rhythm that fully supports the apparent goal of the composition. It possesses a naturally majestic tone, one that leaves a persistent impression even after the reading is complete.
I really, really like this work. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the finished product!