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Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop

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  • Rookie - 14 Points Josie Whitehead (3/17/2007 5:31:00 AM) Post reply
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    I enjoy reading poetry written with rhythm and rhyme most of all, and small children enjoy it because, they tell me, it is fun. However, I must say that I have seen some terrible examples of this type of writing. Some of it can be as tacky as the sort of things you read inside cheap birthday cards. There is certainly a place in the intellectual world also for rhyming poetry, and many of our great poets have used it very successfully. I would say that, as a start to writing in this way, why not take the work of a great writer and examine how he has written, ie, the rhythm, the metre, the metaphors he uses and everything else. You can practise mirroring (or reflecting) his/her poem. Here is an example:

    Down By The Salley Gardens

    By William Butler Yeates

    DOWN by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
    She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
    She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
    But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree.

    In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
    And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
    She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
    But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears.

    Then my shadow/mirror of this lovely little poem:


    By Josie

    By the waterfalls of Ilkley, my love and I did meet
    Her eyes were filled with loveliness, her cherry lips were sweet.
    She warned me not to love her, with a warning so severe
    But my heart told me otherwise, and my ears, they didn't hear.

    In the springtime, ‘neath the cherry trees, I looked at her again –
    To tell me not to fall for her, was to tell me quite in vain.
    She warned me not to love her – her words were loud and clear –
    But now I’m standing by the riverside, without my Ruby dear.

    I would also suggest, that people who wish to be good writers, learn how to use punctuation correctly, especially the apostrophe and inverted commas. Even simple things, such as commas, can make a big difference to the meaning. It goes without saying, that a good writer will always check their spelling too, but there is nothing worse than seeing someone writing their mother-tongue without even bothering to check what they have written, or writing in a way that suggests they are just texting a message on a mobile phone. Am I alone in thinking along these lines?

  • Rookie kskdnj sajn (3/4/2007 10:15:00 PM) Post reply

    Gosh, I've been waiting a long time for a 'workshop' on this forum. lol.

  • Rookie Ronald Clark (2/27/2007 6:35:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Alright heres a new one i came up last Satuday, tell me your thoughts please.

    'I Never Liked My Odds'

    You better not compromise
    My eternal ties
    With my family and my lovers
    Let me hide beneath the covers
    Cause the truth is
    I don't think i could survive
    All alone
    A hundred to one
    And in my 1% rise my courage
    Just to be shot down by my ninety-nine fears
    hold on wait a second
    Let me comprhend
    These odds
    Let me mend
    Your nods
    SO please agree with
    My, my, my, my
    Cause i most certaintly
    Will surface
    To an ever overflowing pond
    That is my obstacle
    Yes, under the covers i will stay
    Till there be a day
    When odds are counted out
    So that i may see what odd are about

    I would appreciate your comments, cause saying nothing wont help me get any better, Thank you! ! !

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie Josie Whitehead (3/17/2007 5:36:00 AM) Post reply

      Dear Ronald I am also struggling with rhyming and rhythmic poetry. It is very difficult to do well successfully. I can see that you have really tried, but I would suggest that you read what I hav ... more

  • Rookie Deanna More (1/29/2007 9:03:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    After I write most of my 'Rhythm & Rhyme' Poetry,
    I read it while tapping my toe to see if I've accomplished a BEAT.

    Here's an example...'Rais'n Hell at the Bar & Grill'

    In Trailer Park Zoo, North of Ludlow,
    SUE danced to the song on her radio.
    Hollered ''Hell, yeah! ''..like a true Red Neck,
    While kissing her monthly Welfare Check.

    Bosoms were hoisted by an up-lift bra.
    Her girdled tush looked snugly un-flawed.
    Dimpled flesh held taut - by tight Spandex.
    Her trailer park key, swung from her neck.

    Newly divorced, she guzzled down...
    Her last cold beer. Then, headed for town.
    Parked her truck at the Bar & Grill.
    ''A Trailer Park Queen, out for a thrill.''

    Hiding away any money she had.
    ''I'll find a Loser to pay my Bar Tab! ''
    She spied two fools, sharing a stool.
    T'was Siamese Twins, Jim + Joe O'Toole.

    Some-Are Teeth, they grinningly bared.
    ''Some-are...here and some-are...there.''
    Tho' their hideousness caused Sue to stare.
    She stuck to them, like a hare in a snare.

    On four knees, she sat, drinking ''Free Beer! ''
    Flirt'n and hug'n and kiss'n their ears.
    Trouble began when Joe asked for a dance,
    En-raging Jim, cause he wanted first chance.

    Two brothers fighting, attached at the groin.
    Sue yelled ''Can't yah just... flip a coin? ''
    Oops! Too late! All 3 toppled to the floor.
    ''You %#* Morons.''..she cursed and swore.

    Bloodied...+...Bruised...+...Pepper Sprayed,
    In handcuffs, the twins were lead away.
    Regretting their quarrel with deepest sorrow.
    ''I hope she returns the $500 she borrowed! ''

    Miles away, in the comfort of home,
    An idea sparked. Sue grabbed the phone.
    ''Male Escort Service? Please, send me 3.
    I've 500 reasons to...PAR-TEE! ''

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie Goldy Locks (2/8/2007 4:21:00 PM) Post reply

      Post your poems on your own page & consider this an all-there-is-to-it situation.

  • Rookie - 0 Points Roger Bowman (12/12/2006 6:00:00 PM) Post reply

    This Friday as every Friday since last Friday is booze night with crazy poemos and stories so u r all welcome to write something and add it to ur list, if u like.

    All the best and more

  • Rookie - 0 Points Roger Bowman (11/30/2006 4:53:00 PM) Post reply

    Any French or French speakin fellow poemhunters out there could tell me your opinion for Le chasseur de l'esprit.Its my poemo Mindhunter in French though I dont know French, with a little help of a friend of mine I manage to write it.

  • Rookie - 0 Points Roger Bowman (11/27/2006 2:10:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    What do you all think of organising a day for booze? Let say Friday and we write about our favourite drinks and crazy stories relating to booze and call it
    'Friday night is pie-eyed night.'Francesca Johnson gave me the idea and the name.

    Replies for this message:
  • Rookie Evangeline Auld (11/9/2006 7:02:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    What a relief and how pleased I am to find a place where rhyming poetry is appreciated. I will be coming back now as often as possible.

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie Red Blooded Black Hearted (11/29/2006 5:07:00 PM) Post reply

      Tell Me about it! rhyming poetry is all I can do and, hey, it still gets the message of what the poem is supposed to say across.

  • Rookie Red Blooded Black Hearted (8/9/2006 9:38:00 PM) Post reply | Read 4 replies

    HI GUYS! ! ! ! I've been writing on poemhunter for almost a year. I can only write rhyming poems and have no idea how to write rhythm poetry. If any of you have a good idea PLEASE poast a reply if you can.
    Hugs N smiles, Rissa: -)

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie Niko Tiliopoulos (10/13/2006 12:57:00 PM) Post reply

      Use a musical piece, preferably one with no lyrics, someting like classical or traditional music, and write you poem to 'match' the melody. It always works. Cheerio Niko

    • Rookie Will Barber (9/2/2006 9:34:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Blank verse. Shakespeare used it. If you get it to rhyme, and use the proper number of lines - bingo! - sonnet! I think rhythm is called meter in poetry. Vachel Lindsay's poems might prove ... more

    • Rookie Mary-Elizabeth Conn (8/20/2006 12:23:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Hey Willow (that's such a nice name!) ! I would suggest reading poetry with rhythms (call it whatever you like but it's still rhythmic- I get your meaning) and rhyme. You can make up rhythms of your ... more

    • Rookie Michael E. Skinner (8/19/2006 9:43:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Rissa, why would you want to 'write rhyt ... more

  • Rookie - 10 Points Tony Sampson (8/9/2006 4:00:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    Petaluma Police Car Tires

    Parked at the curb,
    The Petaluma Police could not observe,
    The car their sergeant had parked;

    Not very far,
    I found me that car,
    And quickly thereto embarked;

    While I approached the police cruiser,
    I viewed the 'soon to be' accuser,
    Yet continued on with my plan;

    Two tires were popped,
    As downward they dropped,
    I fled swiftly in my sedan;

    From each tire's quick blow,
    Came the thrill hearing the air let flow,
    And to the ground, the rims, did go;

    By the knife's quick swing,
    Was laughter from the hiss sound of air leaking,
    And the surprise of needing a tow;

    Oh, what a dare,
    To hear that gush sound of air.
    Then to escape, without being caught;

    But with a short quiz,
    The accuser said, 'I know who it is! ',
    Well, my sedan, the police then sought;

    My laughter was hard,
    While I headed for my yard,
    Though trouble was coming my way;

    All patrol units looked about,
    To search me out,
    For the trouble that I now must pay,

    While homeward I scoot,
    Came a Sonoma County sheriff's deputy in pursuit,
    Riding his cruiser so close to my rear;

    Bright red lights flashed on,
    The fun was gone,
    But still, I had no fear;

    Stopped outside my home gate,
    Came my identification to wait,
    But the police knew who they'd caught;

    Like a beehive ready,
    With a sting so steady,
    A large police force quickly was brought;

    'Put cuffs on them hands..'
    As the police sergeant commands,
    '...then take 'em in for lockup...'

    With two flats on the cruiser,
    The joke was a doozer,
    As the number of times, years over, buildup;

    I was brought before a judge,
    But really...I had no grudge,
    Gave forty dollars to the bondsman to bail;

    As the jail door opened wide,
    Quickly, I dashed outside,
    Now released from the Sonoma County Jail;

    I appeared in court again and again,
    But a plea bargain made that end,
    And no more jail time had I to pay;

    Made happy, I was,
    But that could be because,
    'Pay for two tires and don't do it again', heard I, the court say;

    Other police agencies know,
    Twenty-eight of their tires went low,
    The Cotati police headquarters suffered the worst;

    Well, with two tires to buy,
    My score remains still very high,
    Considering the others I prior had burst;

    If it ever happens again.
    It won't be me, though I'll still grin,
    I've retired, finally, from this crime;

    The memory, still I bare,
    The laughter, its thrill and dare;
    And the story turned now into rhyme;

    Tony Avila Sampson
    Copyright ©2006 Tony Avila Sampson

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie - 10 Points Michael E. Skinner (8/14/2006 9:06:00 AM) Post reply

      Posting poems here means pushing other posts off the page. Some would consider it impolite, many—malicious. Better to post a link to the poem and a brief(!) note. However, if you, while discussing a ... more

    • Rookie - 10 Points Red Blooded Black Hearted (8/9/2006 9:35:00 PM) Post reply

      I'm not really a car person (I'm hopeless at mechanics!) BUT THAT WAS A REALLY GREAT POEM.Tony.

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