Treasure Island

Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop

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  • Lucy Marskell (3/18/2007 9:37:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    Hey everyone!
    I'm fairly new to Poemhunter
    and i was wondering if u can check out my poems
    i use a lot of rhyme in mine cuz i love it!

  • Josie Whitehead (3/17/2007 5:31:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    I enjoy reading poetry written with rhythm and rhyme most of all, and small children enjoy it because, they tell me, it is fun. However, I must say that I have seen some terrible examples of this type of writing. Some of it can be as tacky as the sort of things you read inside cheap birthday cards. There is certainly a place in the intellectual world also for rhyming poetry, and many of our great poets have used it very successfully. I would say that, as a start to writing in this way, why not take the work of a great writer and examine how he has written, ie, the rhythm, the metre, the metaphors he uses and everything else. You can practise mirroring (or reflecting) his/her poem. Here is an example:

    Down By The Salley Gardens

    By William Butler Yeates

    DOWN by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
    She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
    She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
    But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree.

    In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
    And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
    She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
    But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears.

    Then my shadow/mirror of this lovely little poem:


    By Josie

    By the waterfalls of Ilkley, my love and I did meet
    Her eyes were filled with loveliness, her cherry lips were sweet.
    She warned me not to love her, with a warning so severe
    But my heart told me otherwise, and my ears, they didn't hear.

    In the springtime, ‘neath the cherry trees, I looked at her again –
    To tell me not to fall for her, was to tell me quite in vain.
    She warned me not to love her – her words were loud and clear –
    But now I’m standing by the riverside, without my Ruby dear.

    I would also suggest, that people who wish to be good writers, learn how to use punctuation correctly, especially the apostrophe and inverted commas. Even simple things, such as commas, can make a big difference to the meaning. It goes without saying, that a good writer will always check their spelling too, but there is nothing worse than seeing someone writing their mother-tongue without even bothering to check what they have written, or writing in a way that suggests they are just texting a message on a mobile phone. Am I alone in thinking along these lines?

  • kskdnj sajn (3/4/2007 10:15:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Gosh, I've been waiting a long time for a 'workshop' on this forum. lol.

  • Ronald Clark (2/27/2007 6:35:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Alright heres a new one i came up last Satuday, tell me your thoughts please.

    'I Never Liked My Odds'

    You better not compromise
    My eternal ties
    With my family and my lovers
    Let me hide beneath the covers
    Cause the truth is
    I don't think i could survive
    All alone
    A hundred to one
    And in my 1% rise my courage
    Just to be shot down by my ninety-nine fears
    hold on wait a second
    Let me comprhend
    These odds
    Let me mend
    Your nods
    SO please agree with
    My, my, my, my
    Cause i most certaintly
    Will surface
    To an ever overflowing pond
    That is my obstacle
    Yes, under the covers i will stay
    Till there be a day
    When odds are counted out
    So that i may see what odd are about

    I would appreciate your comments, cause saying nothing wont help me get any better, Thank you! ! !

    Replies for this message:
    • Josie Whitehead (3/17/2007 5:36:00 AM) Post reply Stage

      Dear Ronald I am also struggling with rhyming and rhythmic poetry. It is very difficult to do well successfully. I can see that you have really tried, but I would suggest that you read what I hav ... more

  • Deanna More (1/29/2007 9:03:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    After I write most of my 'Rhythm & Rhyme' Poetry,
    I read it while tapping my toe to see if I've accomplished a BEAT.

    Here's an example...'Rais'n Hell at the Bar & Grill'

    In Trailer Park Zoo, North of Ludlow,
    SUE danced to the song on her radio.
    Hollered ''Hell, yeah! '' a true Red Neck,
    While kissing her monthly Welfare Check.

    Bosoms were hoisted by an up-lift bra.
    Her girdled tush looked snugly un-flawed.
    Dimpled flesh held taut - by tight Spandex.
    Her trailer park key, swung from her neck.

    Newly divorced, she guzzled down...
    Her last cold beer. Then, headed for town.
    Parked her truck at the Bar & Grill.
    ''A Trailer Park Queen, out for a thrill.''

    Hiding away any money she had.
    ''I'll find a Loser to pay my Bar Tab! ''
    She spied two fools, sharing a stool.
    T'was Siamese Twins, Jim + Joe O'Toole.

    Some-Are Teeth, they grinningly bared.
    '' and some-are...there.''
    Tho' their hideousness caused Sue to stare.
    She stuck to them, like a hare in a snare.

    On four knees, she sat, drinking ''Free Beer! ''
    Flirt'n and hug'n and kiss'n their ears.
    Trouble began when Joe asked for a dance,
    En-raging Jim, cause he wanted first chance.

    Two brothers fighting, attached at the groin.
    Sue yelled ''Can't yah just... flip a coin? ''
    Oops! Too late! All 3 toppled to the floor.
    ''You %#* Morons.''..she cursed and swore.

    Bloodied...+...Bruised...+...Pepper Sprayed,
    In handcuffs, the twins were lead away.
    Regretting their quarrel with deepest sorrow.
    ''I hope she returns the $500 she borrowed! ''

    Miles away, in the comfort of home,
    An idea sparked. Sue grabbed the phone.
    ''Male Escort Service? Please, send me 3.
    I've 500 reasons to...PAR-TEE! ''

    Replies for this message:
    • Goldy Locks (2/8/2007 4:21:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Post your poems on your own page & consider this an all-there-is-to-it situation.

  • Roger Bowman (12/12/2006 6:00:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    This Friday as every Friday since last Friday is booze night with crazy poemos and stories so u r all welcome to write something and add it to ur list, if u like.

    All the best and more

  • Roger Bowman (11/30/2006 4:53:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Any French or French speakin fellow poemhunters out there could tell me your opinion for Le chasseur de l'esprit.Its my poemo Mindhunter in French though I dont know French, with a little help of a friend of mine I manage to write it.

  • Roger Bowman (11/27/2006 2:10:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    What do you all think of organising a day for booze? Let say Friday and we write about our favourite drinks and crazy stories relating to booze and call it
    'Friday night is pie-eyed night.'Francesca Johnson gave me the idea and the name.

    Replies for this message:
  • Evangeline Auld (11/9/2006 7:02:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    What a relief and how pleased I am to find a place where rhyming poetry is appreciated. I will be coming back now as often as possible.

    Replies for this message:
    • Red Blooded Black Hearted (11/29/2006 5:07:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Tell Me about it! rhyming poetry is all I can do and, hey, it still gets the message of what the poem is supposed to say across.

  • Red Blooded Black Hearted (8/9/2006 9:38:00 PM) Post reply | Read 4 replies Stage

    HI GUYS! ! ! ! I've been writing on poemhunter for almost a year. I can only write rhyming poems and have no idea how to write rhythm poetry. If any of you have a good idea PLEASE poast a reply if you can.
    Hugs N smiles, Rissa: -)

    Replies for this message:
    • Niko Tiliopoulos (10/13/2006 12:57:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Use a musical piece, preferably one with no lyrics, someting like classical or traditional music, and write you poem to 'match' the melody. It always works. Cheerio Niko

    • Will Barber (9/2/2006 9:34:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      Blank verse. Shakespeare used it. If you get it to rhyme, and use the proper number of lines - bingo! - sonnet! I think rhythm is called meter in poetry. Vachel Lindsay's poems might prove ... more

    • Mary-Elizabeth Conn (8/20/2006 12:23:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      Hey Willow (that's such a nice name!) ! I would suggest reading poetry with rhythms (call it whatever you like but it's still rhythmic- I get your meaning) and rhyme. You can make up rhythms of your ... more

    • Michael E. Skinner (8/19/2006 9:43:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      Rissa, why would you want to 'write rhyt ... more

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