Treasure Island

Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop


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  • kdkjbhd nkzdhvlikhs (4/20/2008 3:13:00 PM) Post reply

    OBSESSIONS

    I walk the path of notice,
    in which looking for meaning.
    walls all around me,
    have trapped me since the beginning.

    And when I realize the glinting eyes,
    my soul sobs and oceans arise.

  • Braedon Reese (4/19/2008 1:38:00 PM) Post reply

    Dear Jennifer,
    I hope you never leave me
    I hope you take my hand
    and walk with me freely
    in this god forsaken land
    Because if i ever need help
    somewhere along the way
    i know you'll be beside me
    walking along the bay
    Im not sure what id do
    if i didnt have you
    I'm sure I would be lost
    somewhere in the frost
    of the cold frozen desert
    we call life

    Braedon Reese

  • James Milks (4/18/2008 12:10:00 PM) Post reply

    Futility

    I scream to the ocean
    of my pain and emotion
    The waves just crash against the shore
    No one answers me anymore

    I talk to the wind the wind does not hear
    The trees bend and shake and it is crystal clear
    All my words simply disappear

    I cry to the mountain
    my tears a fountain
    The mountain of solid dirt and stone
    Leaves me to my fate
    to be alone

    I pray to the almighty
    Though it seems flighty
    I wait to hear
    With a twinge of fear
    And I wait to hear
    Wait to hear
    To hear
    Hear

    JPM 4/27/2007


    A soldier died

    In a far away place a solider died
    Lay gently upon his grave a sweet bouquet
    And somewhere a mother cried

    A child grieves for the father that has been denied
    Longing for all that has been taken away
    In a far away place a solider died

    War, a horror that can never be dignified
    yet we march of to war again today
    And somewhere a mother cried

    A cold stone palace where the heroes reside
    Where too many have been invited to stay
    In a far away place a solider died

    All that is left when worlds collide
    Is sadness and sorrow and dismay
    And somewhere a mother cried

    I say to you my brother your memory will not be cast aside
    All that you fought for will never be cast astray
    In a far away place a solider died
    And somewhere a mother cried
    JPM 9/6/07

  • Prakash Arige (4/9/2008 6:34:00 AM) Post reply

    For me music and poetry are both like twin sisters. If you mix music to poetry a beautiful child called 'song' will take birth. I like music as good as poetry. These are means of relaxation and creation. Thanks for the nice discussion forum. I enjoyed here alot.
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  • the poet (3/22/2008 8:40:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Rain is Falling

    Rain, rain, its always raining,
    Rain, rain, I end up saying,
    Rain, rain, please go away now,
    Rain, rain, just leave right now,
    Rain, rain, don’t know how,
    I don’t care how,
    To make my rainy day just go away…

    So I stand,
    in the pouring rain,
    So I can,
    feel the growing pain,
    Of having rain,
    coming down like the Armageddon flame.

    I can see raindrops playing their game,
    Even though they look the same,
    I know that there is more to rain……

    ~Hey guys what do you think about this poem? ?

    Replies for this message:
    • Hamid Kareem (3/26/2008 10:06:00 AM) Post reply

      tis okay though the first stanza could have been beter but tis nice altogether

  • Tired of Being Exploited (3/19/2008 2:12:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Crappy Poem

    a group of words that somewhat relate
    do not a piece of poetry make
    bereft of content, flow or style
    they’re just another steaming pile

    and even if the rhyme is true
    doesn’t mean applause is due
    when imagery and metaphor
    cannot be accounted for

    yet, here lies a set of lines
    wasting all its readers’ time
    sure, as fluff, it’s kind of fun
    but there’s no art before it’s done

    and I suspect that some would say
    that structure-wise, it seems okay
    the sing-song meter is well designed
    and the craft is true in all its parts

    but how this little ditty fails
    is in the way that it appeals
    to the aesthetic of the mind
    yet inspires nothing in the heart

    -Jack Lovelle

    Replies for this message:
  • Hamid Kareem (3/18/2008 8:05:00 AM) Post reply

    pls check out my poems. though i've never really written a poem for the sole purpose of rhyming

  • kdkjbhd nkzdhvlikhs (3/12/2008 6:52:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    Failed to notice


    A serenity I have felt but fail to notice why
    long vacations of unawareness have I been through
    Ignorance is in thought and mind
    Filter it with knowledge and enlightenment

    A window of intention has awaken my eyes in absolute despair
    A time card has been taken to influence and inspire
    A life without destination is a life without meaning
    Believe in self and you will achieve


    A cocoon of ignorance I have experienced
    Once in and forever out
    I cast my wings out with the ambition to learn and progress
    Graciously flying with a haste to change a world we despise

    Time is viciously apparent and will end, immortality is at hand

    give me your opinion please! ! !

    Replies for this message:
    • Hamid Kareem (3/18/2008 8:03:00 AM) Post reply

      i cant find rhyming..... but maybe i failed to notice which i doubt

    • Hamid Kareem (3/18/2008 8:03:00 AM) Post reply

      i cant find rhyming..... but maybe i failed to notice which i doubt

    • Hamid Kareem (3/18/2008 8:02:00 AM) Post reply

      i ant find rhyming..... but maybe i failed to notice which i doubt

  • John Farley (3/11/2008 6:33:00 PM) Post reply

    I guess all cultures and people can apply rhyming in their own particular vernacular, see that! ! . I'm just an ordinary Aussie bloke, that's how I write.
    We call it 'Bush Poetry and Prose', many hours of fun I have had, new words, new meanings. Many words get clipped, like;
    'I'll get there, did'nt I tell yer, I'm invinciple, I'm a winnin'.
    You beauty, nearly there, - of log ore my got, the -'s got me, I'm goin' swimmen'.

  • Coreena Dejesus (3/10/2008 8:23:00 AM) Post reply

    Looking for some constructive criticism, I've always just wrote poems but actually want to improve on writing them. If my 'poet experts' could read a few of my poems and give me some advise i would highly apperciate it. Thanks in advance.

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