(2/10/2007 9:04:00 PM)
I found this very confusing
When I read it
Some could thhink that you are insulting than
Some may think that you think that others are racist?
It is not a good poem
This doesn't sound to me like a poem
I would say it is just a thought
I would never write a thing like that
Even being a poet with 11 years of experience
You sound very confuse
about what realy is a poem
A poem has to flow like water
To me this doesn't
(10/30/2006 11:44:00 PM)
this is a 'workshop' so i'm assuming you put this up to be commented on. I don't think this is a poem. It's not because it's written in prose form, either, because I've seen poems work that way. There is just nothing to grasp onto here; it's mostly abstract thought. The only thing in this poem that comes close to an image is the part of the last line 'the movies in your thoughts, ' which is a pretty good image. It's obvious there is a LOT of feeling here, and you have some great ideas. My suggestion would be, however, to try to come up with ways to show these things instead of just stating them. This is more of a journal entry than a poem, but the feeling behind it gives it potential. It's a good starting point.
(9/27/2006 6:35:00 AM)
I like this freestyle a lot. Very fluid thoughts that got me thinking.