Freeform Workshop

Workshop for poetry written in free forms.
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Lisa Marie Mcmillion-jones United States (8/6/2006 2:10:00 PM)

Hello again is this a confusion through your thoughts or is it and intelligent method of explaining your self then what is the problem? Can it be fixed and adjusted to suite everyone's taste in thoughts or is it just going to continue to be consider a race issue. Is the pattern considered jelousy or is it consider evey? What about your emotions that direct your thoughts so what is the psychical means of your intelligence that can be consider what may I ask or is it a riddle type of controls that adjust the thoughts of your personal emotional out puts as a selfish child or is it because you are wanting your own childish ways or is it not because you are racist? So why have you not shown for real the face in view of your own figure. My own music my own words of expressed vision. Is it a pattern of cycle that continue to ryme while others are just revealing not a thought for passion or is it because you have to be the way that you are? Can you get better and can others be left out of the picture or is that a secene again with a movie. Vision the thoughts of an inspired profound judgement that controls the movies in your thoughts or is it in my thought. Lisa

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  • Rookie Aldo Kraas (2/10/2007 9:04:00 PM) Post reply
    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.

    I found this very confusing
    When I read it
    Some could thhink that you are insulting than
    Some may think that you think that others are racist?
    It is not a good poem
    This doesn't sound to me like a poem
    I would say it is just a thought
    I would never write a thing like that
    Even being a poet with 11 years of experience
    You sound very confuse
    about what realy is a poem
    A poem has to flow like water
    To me this doesn't

  • Rookie Kelly Gemmill (10/30/2006 11:44:00 PM) Post reply

    this is a 'workshop' so i'm assuming you put this up to be commented on. I don't think this is a poem. It's not because it's written in prose form, either, because I've seen poems work that way. There is just nothing to grasp onto here; it's mostly abstract thought. The only thing in this poem that comes close to an image is the part of the last line 'the movies in your thoughts, ' which is a pretty good image. It's obvious there is a LOT of feeling here, and you have some great ideas. My suggestion would be, however, to try to come up with ways to show these things instead of just stating them. This is more of a journal entry than a poem, but the feeling behind it gives it potential. It's a good starting point.

  • Rookie Radio Head (9/27/2006 6:35:00 AM) Post reply

    I like this freestyle a lot. Very fluid thoughts that got me thinking.

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