Treasure Island

Freeform Workshop


Workshop for poetry written in free forms.
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Moriah Cyr Female, 37, United States (6/21/2005 6:36:00 AM)

You see it all the time I suppose. All of us newbies, declaring our newness. Asking for a bit of attention. I must be so self absorbed that I need your approval. Well, I guess I do then. My sister is the English major, not I. She seems to think that I should persue writing, but all that ever comes out of me seems childish and simple. I need to know if this is something that I should abandon. I don't want to waste anyone's time, and so will post only one, in hopes that I lure you willingly to read the others. Of course, if you don't like the first, I probably won't be getting any visitors any time soon. Please, if you have a moment, I would greatly appreciate your (anyone's) input.
Thanks...

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  • Moriah Cyr (6/21/2005 6:40:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    OOOPPPSS.... I forgot the 'poem'. :)

    Here goes.



    Don't Touch


    Don't touch me...
    I cannot bear you touch me there.
    My heart's in shambles, no longer there.
    I've hidden away my deepest spring for fear
    you'll drink me dry.
    I am no longer yours.
    Clipped tongues and broken wings will take us nowhere.
    An intimate battle of love gone wrong, we fight till the death.
    There cannot be a winner here for neither will give in.
    I want out... my skin crawls at the thought that
    you will be near me yet again.
    I can't dispell the images running through my head.
    I want to flee... to be... to see...
    Something pure.
    And it's not here.

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    • Casey Rock (7/14/2005 6:37:00 PM) Post reply

      I agree with the other comment posted. Try to write the poems in a specific tone or voice that is unique to you, and read a ton. I recommend Richard Brautigan, Charles Bukowski, And Pablo Neruda (all ... more

    • Eric Paul Shaffer (6/30/2005 10:38:00 PM) Post reply

      Read some current poems in poetry reviews and in the poetry section of your local bookstore and even here on this website. I think you'll see that this 'expressive' style is not serving you well. Fo ... more

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