Freeform Workshop

Please visit my profile and comment on one of my poems, thank you very much.

Hi everyone I would like to have you comment on my poems....ironically it is really hard to. Please let me know what you think, and please visit my page and read and comment on the other thanks

Ascension

Deadened are my lively days
When simple was a word I didn't know
I stepped with high-heels onto a moonlit street
And without a sound feel a rhythm
I could feel any beat
Out of my own volition

I would dance down endless roads
As they stared
The passersby
And jealous were the stars of my candescence
Although they glowed
But I was luminescent

I would dance through towns and cities
Not knowing I'd gone miles
But that cars were far behind in speed
They slowed around curves
But there was no break in me

I had come to a sea
And effortlessly I did transcend
Now feeling I am free
Leaving endless streets behind
That held no space for me

Please read this poem and let me know what you think. I wanted to focus on alliteration... did I over do it??Any other comments/suggestions?

A poet’s plight

I have here my pen and pad
And now I plan to prove my genius

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will use mesmerizing metaphors
And beyond brilliant similes
I will compare things never compared before
I will give words new meanings

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will stitch my story one scene at a time
Decoratively divulging distinct memories
I will quaintly quilt what is on my mind
Even reluctantly memorializing past misery

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will tell tales never told before
In ways no one has ever heard before
I will leave my listener wanting more
Each stanza sending them through another door

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will cunningly construct a new poetic form
Into which rhythm and rhyme will swarm
Into which even prominent poets will storm
For it will transcend traditional norms


If I can only get this stupid pen to write!

Ugh! I give up! !

This is a despairing dilemma I have disdainfully endured
A wicked war waged against me without forewarning

This
Is another example
Of a Poet’s
Plight

Please read this poem and let me know what you think. I wanted to focus on alliteration... did I over do it??Any other comments/suggestions?

A poet’s plight

I have here my pen and pad
And now I plan to prove my genius

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will use mesmerizing metaphors
And beyond brilliant similes
I will compare things never compared before
I will give words new meanings

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will stitch my story one scene at a time
Decoratively divulging distinct memories
I will quaintly quilt what is on my mind
Even reluctantly memorializing past misery

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will tell tales never told before
In ways no one has ever heard before
I will leave my listener wanting more
Each stanza sending them through another door

If I can only get this stupid pen to work

I will cunningly construct a new poetic form
Into which rhythm and rhyme will swarm
Into which even prominent poets will storm
For it will transcend traditional norms


If I can only get this stupid pen to write!

Ugh! I give up! !

This is a despairing dilemma I have disdainfully endured
A wicked war waged against me without forewarning

This
Is another example
Of a Poet’s
Plight

I love many things.Cars, working out, nature, comedy.but by far this is my favorite website.

Whatever you may call this, just know that this came from my heart:

I love poemhunter.com! I thank all the people behind this website for the support they've given to me since I joined in. This encourages me in a lot of ways as I also am taking a degree in BS InfoTech, lucky enough being a gov't scholar to help my family. I am looking forward in the future about working for such wonderful website. I hope it will be as sooner as possible for I want to get my mom to the hospital to get checked up because she now suffers from an illness which really does bother me. If only I can treat her and take away the pain by myself, I wouldn't take the risk of putting my reputation low. I need someone who can help me all for the love of my family. I have my dreams in life and it includes for all the members of my family, especially my dear parents. Out of all the things in life that I could fear, the only thing that would hurt me is if I'd loose someone I love!

What's the difference in posting on our page and posting here?I didn't sit down and analyze and diagram any of my ideas... make out some scientific formula for how they should be written out, if that's really how poets usually write. If that's the case, then maybe I'm the only one who should ever read what I write.

Sonnet 1: Secrets and death coincide!
For sooth! O secrets that keep life a drift
Livens death which brings pain to all of life
What secrecy that gives but hath no gift
Secrets to lies that make life full of strife
But man will cause pain upon the trusting
When truth be revealed pain shall rein through out
Secrets have no truth and death no sting
And animals have no secrets or doubt
Hidden from the world are conspiracies
Hidden by those who do great deeds
But fools they are to force tendencies
And make the lies that's to fester and feeds
Secrets lead to lies of death in the night
Death, secrets, lies give the world quite a fright.

Hello, you all poetry Fanatics!
I have posted some of my poems in, can you please spare your moment to read them and don't be shy to comment about them.

very eligant from my perspective. is this a forum for like random poems that are freeverse. like can we just type up a poem on here and get feedback or do we have to fill out a form?