Treasure Island

Freeform Workshop


Post a message
  • Goldy Locks (6/6/2007 2:05:00 AM) Post reply

    footnote to Bernstein's 'Dysraphism'

    Dominion demands distraction-the circus
    ponies of the slaughter home. Braced
    by harmony, bludgeoned by decoration
    the dream surgeon hobbles three steps over, two
    steps beside. “In those days you didn't have to
    shout to come off as expressive.” One by one
    the clay feet are sanded, the sorrows remanded.
    A fleet of ferries, forever merry.*
    Show folks know that what the fighting man wants
    is to win the war and come home.

    *in italics

    Bernstein's 'Dysraphism' has a footnote teasing out etymological connections between this abstruse medical term meaning a kind of birth defect - literally a 'mis-seaming' - and the prosodic stringing (stitching) of words: 'disturbance of stress, pitch, and rhythm of speech.' The textual seaming and mis-seaming (seeming and mis-seeming?) concludes with these lines.

    [...]

    A series of characteristically short, direct, discrete statements, unconnected by conjunctions of subordinate clauses, are stitched together less by discursive sense than by verbal repetition (seaming) and counterpoint (mis-seaming) .
    - English 88, Modern & Contemporary American Poetry

  • Ali Zengin (5/8/2007 2:23:00 AM) Post reply

    Those People are innocent

    Those people are black,
    And their hands, eyes, hair
    What they hold
    What they eat
    Either what they don’t eat


    Those people are slaves,
    And their tongues, lands, spouses
    Everything they own
    And their children too
    Even their future


    Those people are innocent
    Their laughs, looks, feelings
    Pearl-like teeth
    Their faces so pure as their hearts
    They are innocent, black slaves

    Ali Zengin

  • Michael Pacholski (4/28/2007 3:49:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    This is called 'Freeform Workshop'. What I figured I'd see was suggestions/assignments/challenges and poetic exercises. Not quite getting that so I'll start a challenge for anyone willing to pick up.

    1) Write down five incomplete phrases of between four to six words each. They don't have to be the first ones that come to mind, but you shouldn't take more than ten minutes. By 'incomplete' I mean that the phrase cannot form a complete idea or sentence.

    2) Once you've chosen the five phrases, you can begin writing the poem. All five phrases must be included in the poem.

    3) Once you have written a word, that word cannot be edited or deleted (exceptions are mistakes in punctuation and typos) . But you cannot go back and change a word, nor can you go back and add words.

    4) Same goes for individual lines. Once they have been written, they cannot be deleted, moved, or changed in any way. Once two consecutive lines have been written, you cannot go back to add anything between them.

    There's a peculiar form of Japanese fine art where, once the artist applies the brush to canvas, they cannot go back and change because the act of lifting and moving the brush back damages the canvas. I do this once in a while after I've edited a poem into oblivion. When Miles Davis Quintet was recording 'Kind Of Blue' Miles'd come in with these barely sketched out phrases and he'd ask the band to play and improvise, keep going and see what they could come up with.

    Replies for this message:
  • Courtney Hibbard (4/23/2007 10:17:00 PM) Post reply

    I WISH

    I wish could see your eyes and your smile everyday,

    I wish I could hear you laugh everyday,

    I wish I could feel your arms around mine everyday,

    I wish I could talk to you everyday,

    I wish I could smell your sweet smell everyday,

    I wish that that would happen everyday.



    I hope I’ll see you tomorrow,

    I hope I’ll see you next week,

    I hope I’ll see you next month,

    I hope I’ll see you next year,

    I hope I’ll see you in a decade,

    I hope I’ll see you in a century,

    I hope I’ll see you everyday.



    I’m afraid that my wishes won’t come true,

    I’m afraid I won’t see you,

    Or hear you,

    Or feel you,

    Or talk to you,

    Or smell you,

    I’m afraid I won’t ever see you again.



    Then I realize,

    It’s up to you,

    You can smile,

    You can laugh,

    You can put your arms around mine,

    You can walk up to me and talk,

    And it’s up to me to decide if I want to see you,

    I can come by tomorrow,

    Or come see you next week,

    Or come by next month,

    Or come by next year,

    Or see you in a decade,

    Or even see you in a century,

    It’s up to me and you,

    And I want to see you forever!

  • Dylan Barker (4/6/2007 5:07:00 PM) Post reply

    Would you read poems by me? i would greatly appreciate it.

  • Robert Sierra (4/5/2007 12:17:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    I'm in a canopy
    Of misery
    Repeating lines
    Of lonely rhymes
    But every word
    Seems so absurd
    So cliche
    In every way...

    This is the beginning to one of my poems, if you like it please contact me, I'm kinda new and I don't really know anyone

    Replies for this message:
    • Petra Creffield (4/22/2007 3:58:00 PM) Post reply

      i feel like i'n a walking cliche in every way.... hi welcome to poemhunter, it's kinda cool here P

  • Lucy Marskell (3/18/2007 9:40:00 AM) Post reply

    What if the sun were to die
    and all life withers?
    What if we somehow were
    still alive and all we
    do is shiver?

    ~~Check out my other poems if you like this one -
    if you don't have a nice day! ~~

  • A Zeitgeber (2/13/2007 6:19:00 PM) Post reply

    Ode to Kim

    Hot rod death poetry

    in the morning hour

    I seek to know you,

    It hurt down inside

    when I found out you lied

    you cant possibly know how I feel,

    So I'll shift into fourth

    release the clutch

    then let go of the wheel,

    Hot rod death poetry in the final hour, goodnight.....

  • A Zeitgeber (2/13/2007 6:06:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    Catshit

    Theres two cats that live in my house

    they shit in a box,

    I have a box of shit in

    my house

    Replies for this message:
    • Careful with that dogma, my karma might hit it . (2/25/2007 6:11:00 AM) Post reply

      I thought this was great but I don't know why. I found it really funny and nearly pissed myself laughing but again, I don't know why! Perhaps it's just the overgrown schoolboy in me. Esra Sloblock

    • Goldy Locks (2/15/2007 7:45:00 AM) Post reply

      Words weren't enough for her. She often made high cat cries and danced hard on the blue carpet. ... more

  • A Zeitgeber (2/13/2007 5:57:00 PM) Post reply

    Strawberries

    Remember that time when we were teenagers

    and we rode bareback

    out to the strawberry fields

    and stuffed our faces 'till we were almost sick,

    I recall it was foggy that day

    and when the sun finally broke through

    you turned and laughed and rode away

    as if you were never there to begin with.......

[Hata Bildir]