Freeform Workshop

Thank you Syed and Rodney for you comments on my poem, much appreciated!

Hello fellow poets, I'm also new to this. I've submitted a couple of my poems, one of which is the following, I would love to have some feedback. Looking forward to hearing from you, Maria.

The song

You caght me by surprise
With your clouded hazy notes
Seeping through the crevices of hidden places
Drifting in like gauzy smoke
Until tears rose at last
From that deeply flowing spring
Whose source is in the darkest cave
Where all my losses lie
You softly prised them from me
Those visions and those dreams
Of words and smiles of eyes and warmth
I marvelled at the freshness
Of the blood you drew so easily
With the softness of your sound
Those long lost moments not gone
But with me here and now
and when you slowly drifted off
Leaving what I felt still clear
I lingerd in the aftertaste
Of memories of promises
To find my soul again

Maria Manias

God will defend we like a guard he will stand
looking left and right from the east he will descend,
spread out your wings cause in heaven we will ascend,
and never be afraid cause in love we shall dwell.

a look from your eyes tell me whether you regret
falling for a man whose heart is intent,
whose looking for a future from a being whose contempt,
much love and blessing creature you are like a saint.

beauty from the heavens, tell me whether you melt
if i take a bite from your body will you tell?

Hey I'm new. I have got some poems that I would love people to read, critisisize, or coment if you like. They are realistic problems, and can be dark. So if you like poems about that they are open for interpertation. Thank you so much! I really hope you find time to read them! : D

Cold Coffee Dizzy Gilespie add some 'Tea' coool me

Friends,

Please note that my new book of poetry, " Dada Reborn: 21st Century Poems, " is now available on Amazon (Ebook) .

These poems are intended for a mature liberal-minded audience.

Thanks,

Joe

angels falling from a place on high.. angels falling to the ground...thats all i have give more lines plz

Here's a link to my poems-http://www.poemhunter.com/brishbhanu-baruah/
do visit it and feel free to speak your mind.

My latest free flow. I tried to give it a little structure too, to link the stanza. Does it then seize to be free flow?Angels fall

Angels fall
Sometimes it is because they are tripped
Tricked
Unguided
Neglected
No one really to show them the way
Easily received but selfishly not wanted
An accident
An inconvenience
Left to their own devises and what they know
They land on dirty grown, grubby nails and knees and they scramble around in ignorant bliss 

Angels fall
Sometimes it is because they were pushed 
Rejected
Frustrated
Tempted
Someone forgets to polish the treasure
Taken for granted that the ring was binding
A habit 
A convenience 
Left to their longing and desires and what they deserve
They fall on soft feathers, that leave imprints of guilty relief, and they languish a while.

Angels fall
Sometimes it is out of the blue for no good reason at all
Confused
Possessed
Obsessed 
No one trips them, no one pushes them
A grip so tight round the heart
Teetering
Peering
They land in  the ocean that is their heart and it  must be deep enough for all this love as nothing else makes any sense.

Angels fall
Few are the angels that keep their wings
Enlightened?
Accepting?
Scared?
Please don't look down on us in that way
This flight for you was smooth
Lucky?
Righteous?
We all chose whether we live cushioned by a cloud or on the ground!  

Hello to my Fellow Poets:
I'm new around here. Please read and comment on my poems-I would love to have your feedback. Here's my newest:

Dervishes and Mastery
___________________

Oh.
Time has slapped me in the face
The air was thick and settled
A new tick
A slower second
You have mastered time
You have mastered
Me


My.
You've really swept me off my feet.
Haven't let me down to breathe
For weeks.
I'm suffocating
Bury me deeper
Steal my atmosphere
Let me die this way
Heart speeding in a hundred different directions


Goodness.
I'm a flat out fool
For you.
I'm a fish out of water
I've grown wings
You tell me I'm your goddess
In frenzied dervishes you paint me
You whisper: muse
You brush my face with a smile
Is the creator of something divine
A god himself?