Freeform Workshop

Just thought I'ld let you know the winning title for Trade Martin's name the poem contest was submitted by me and its named Dark Light, Inside Out.I just got the B.B.King tribute CD which was the prize.
I've only written one freeform poem titled The Gold Petal.If you have the chance I would appreciate your comments.Normaly I write traditional lyrical verse.Thanks.

[Where Are You, My Friends (Critics) ? ]
It’s my avid eyes go busily every day
After my poetic letters were sent away
To my friends to the lands by birds
To the shores by the sailboats on the ocean

My grasping eyes are glancing day by day,
Looking for my friends comments in return
That my heart feels upset while checked my box
Where are my friends who may be busy in job?

My letters mostly come back joy or sorrow
But I treat them same favorable into my heart
Joyful words might be a bit bring in like the honey
Sad words might be pieces of doctors’ medicine

Honey is sweet into taste good through my tongue
But the bitter words are the best medicine to my soul
I like them all; no matter they are candy or medicine
To wish there are some friends write me back any news

Like I said..unadulterated self promotion..I aint too proud to beg! !

In a futile attempt at unadulterated self promotion I post this one..I await a slating...

My dreams Solidify

I wait
Facing all my fears, I wait
I join the leagues of all those who have ever dared
But, I wait
The fear of the challenge is upon me
Its suffocating pillow damping down my shaky core of self belief
But, I'm grounded
And, I wait
I have faith
This fleeting fear will pass
In the murkiest realms of my imagination
My dreams solidify


Go on, comment, I dare ya1

Hi! Could you please comment on some more of my poems? Thanks! !
Athena

Hello everyone, I wouldn't mind some advice if you have a moment.
I'm entering a competition, which includes writing four poems. One entry has to be free-verse. Can a poem be free verse if it has some rhyming couplets but no particular scheme? This is my example;

Holding back, yet grasping out,
Clinging to the furnace whilst reaching for the sun.
The present burns.
Exit, please?
It's barred, it's chained by fear mislead.
There is no exit, mere shadows ahead.
I'll stay, I'll burn.
Clinging to the furnace, reaching for the sun,
Aspiring for nothing, though my future's begun.

Glancing back, yet straining out,
Cautious of the embers, yet willing for the sun.
The present burns.
Strength, please?
To break my shackles t'wards desires ahead
And banish forever a fear mislead.
Fights sweeter than flight.
Cautious of the embers but willing for the sun,
Aspiring for freedom to face life head on.

Thank you!

Always welcome to visitors of my page and forever willing to exchange comments and messages. Most of my work is about the pain of unrequitted love, so if you do visit don't forget to look for the message hidden behind the sadness of the poem

Hi I'm Athena. I wonder whether you professionals could comment on a few of my novice attempts I call poetry? ! Thanks, Athena :)

The Saint would love for poets to stop by his page and dropp a line let me know what you think of my words and also ask me to read what you would like read, HEY I have all day so time is not a problem an this end...