Treasure Island

Freeform Workshop

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  • Claudia Krizay (2/22/2012 9:25:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Right Unilateral

    [/]In the midst of this room
    I lie still as they put the IV into the crook of my arm- I wince.
    A rolled up towel is placed beneath my neck, and
    A sheet to cover my legs-
    I see flies hovering about the overhead light-
    As I breathe oxygen from a rubber mask-
    The last thing I recall is
    Drifting off into another place in time-
    Moments later, so it seems
    I am sitting in a chair by the window beside,
    Overlooking trees dancing to the tune of
    A nightingale’s song,
    A late spring’s balmy and gentle wind,
    Footsteps softly ambling up and down the hall behind me,
    Rudely contradicted by the sound cars rushing down the boulevard outside,
    The screaming of sirens and people conversing in the room next door-
    These voices that could be real or emanating from my mind- although
    It is too soon, after the shock that was induced to my brain
    To distinguish reality from unreality-
    I clearly remember the spoken words
    “Right unilateral” and so it seemed that
    Mistrust of the world about me and
    Conversations echoing and reverberating throughout my mind as
    Emanating from some other place in time-
    Would tip toe away from the spirit raging war inside my mind-
    Trees dancing and birds carrying on with their soprano tune,
    That late spring’s breeze being a chorus of some far away lullaby –
    Footsteps following closely behind,
    And cars rushing down the boulevard outside-
    Have now become my only reality as
    I have finally awakened from a peaceful slumber,
    Returning to earth from my journey to some other realm-
    I have regained my sanity-
    Walking away from the magnificent view from the picture window before me only to
    Return to the familiarity of every day life and as dove would peacefully do,
    I lift my wings, though imaginary
    Only to soar above the treetops outside
    Leaving my tears behind this time to vanish in that river of despair that
    I have known for so long as I flee and abandon the tempest of fear this time-

    Claudia Krizay

  • ~Deana ~ Dotterweich (1/27/2012 10:45:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    Im New So Please check out my Poems! ! ! Tell me what you think....

  • Mike Ebogha (1/27/2012 12:10:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    Hi people, i am new to this site and i have been writing poems for about 4yrs now.I would be most grateful n happy if you can go through the ones i have posted on my profile n give me your opinion about it.

  • Jade4x Phoenix (1/21/2012 2:13:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Hi guys, just joined the forum, looking forward to learning and contributing as much as i can and putting up some of my work for your comments and criticism!

  • Aj Duchene (1/17/2012 10:56:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    I'm a noob here but would greatly apprciate any coments on my poems. I have uploaded one but have quite a few others I will be adding. Thank you in advance for considering my poems for review.

  • Jtw Flosper (1/6/2012 12:01:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    This is my second poem ever
    I just opened a word document and wrote it from start to finish. Anyways this is just about my faith over this past school year. Anyways, even if you aren't religious, tell me what you think of the poem.
    Thursday nights, Bible study, hip-hop and history, praying like a dying man whose salvation’s a mystery
    Still up there in the back of my mind, the way it used to be, the days when I was free
    With the love of my God on the tip of my tongue, and the trees pumping air to my liberated lungs,
    When the day passed painlessly with hope for a future
    When getting out of bed didn’t feel like bursting a suture.
    I want the love back, the love that used to be mine
    The love that came down in the flowing sunshine
    When death held no fear
    Living no tears
    When I knew that I wanted to live another year
    But the walls are closing in each day, each hour
    Overcharging mental engines but I’m running out of power
    Like the water’s run out and I’m an over-petalled flower
    Each minute each hour I can feel me going sour
    You used to keep me up
    You used to keep me strong
    When I fell down I never waited for you long
    But I’ve dug so deep, been in a cave so long
    I don’t have to common sense to grab hold of your arms
    Lift me out

    Replies for this message:
    • Aj Duchene (1/17/2012 11:08:00 AM) Post reply Stage

      JT, Two things strike me here. One about your poem and another about your faith. Both of them I believe to be good. Your poem shows to me that you have a lot that you want to say and get off your ... more

  • Juan Guzman (12/15/2011 12:18:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    Well i think all the poems that i have ever wrtten are free form, so id love it if other free form poets could read and comment on my poems, thank you.

  • Teza Lee (11/13/2011 4:44:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    hey can you plaese look at my new poem its called _*MY HEART*_ please rate and comment thanks teza x

  • Gordon Tseng (11/10/2011 12:43:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

    God Bless Not Only America

    God bless the hungry, in Columbia or in Cambodia, in Europe or in Ethiopia.
    God bless all farmers, growing potatoes or tomatoes, bananas or papayas.
    God bless all bears, pandas in China, polar bears in Canada, or cola bears in Australia.
    God bless the codes and the buttons of nuclear weapons, in Arizona or in Siberia.

    God bless all children, drinking dirty water or Coca-Cola.
    God bless the dreams, both in Bollywood’s or Hollywood’s cinema.
    God bless all Gods or their wise friends, Laozi or Confucius, Muhammad or Buddha.
    Oh, my God, oh, our God, could you please bless all of us, not only America?

    Replies for this message:

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  • Ralph The Elf (10/22/2011 4:56:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    awwww what a wonderful day

    i roll over and there she is

    starring at the skyline with her bright smile

    her dimples so deep i think i could take a swim

    her smile could heal a heart failure

    she turns to me and just then

    oh just then

    i behold her eyes

    like emeralds they gleam

    on the moonlit lawn

    ADELAIDE i call

    my throat graced with her name

    my heart missed a beat as she coughed so elegantly

    for this girl there are no words in the world

    the least i could say is beauty

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