Learn More

Writing Poetry


Discuss ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas about how to write better.
Post a message

Click here to list all messages

Yash Shinde Yash Shinde Male, 16, India (4/30/2014 8:46:00 AM)

Dear honest critics, I seek your reviews on this one.....

##To bosom thee.....I'll Rise...##..

He was before his beloved,
Kneeling on his thighs……..
His shoulders down,
With soulful cries…….

Slid down his cheeks, like shiny pearls,
The tears that his doleful eyes did shed….
Was held in them a vision of his mistress,
Who lied helpless in her cold deathbed….

Bowing his head, lifting hands in plea,
Breaking the silence, quoth he-

____”Once bound with the essence of thee
____I now wash the coast like a restless sea”
____”Powered by love my heart did bore,
____I’ll trace your impressions on the sandy shore….”

____”Turning stones time does flow,
____a model of valor, should you lie so low?”
____”your mellow fragrance in the darkness behind,
____tell me my precious, where will I find?”

She raised her eyes, deep as a sea,
In a soothing voice, quoth she-

____”See the alluring florets of rose that,
____bloom opening their carmine lips, ”
____”With a mellow scent, they invite,
____butterflies to deliver a kiss…..”

____”In blossom of rose you shall see me,
____that blooms with the kiss of thee..”
____”Amongst trodden hopes and dismal cries,
____like the sun of hope I will rise! ”

____”Thus like a rose dwelling
____in the eyes of thee”
____”In curls of petals,
____You shall find me…”

With his blood hitting his veins like an edgy sea,
In a painful voice quoth he-

____”Every blossom does wither with time,
____every Bonnie creation someday declines.”
____”In the withered remnants dispelled behind
____ tell me my love where would I find?”

Wiping the tears his had shed.
With calmness of a sage, his beloved said-

____”If you wash the shore like a restless sea.
____in spiriting rivers you shall find me..”
____”Which through meandering turns do make their course,
____and cut through boulders to reach their source…”

____”Like a river unifying with salinity of the sea,
____I lose my soul, and ally with thee..”

____”If like a graceful dove you’ll appraise the sky, ____
____like a breeze from the surface, I’ll rise” ____
____”Like a phoenix that rises from ashes to life, ____
____to wipe your tears from dust I’ll rise”____
____”Like an angel that dwells in heavenly paradise, ____
____to empower the oceanic tides, like moon I’ll rise”____
____”In my portrait I’ll live that dwells in your eyne,
____Like a fragrance that scents I’ll rise” ____

- - -”Search me not the remnants behind,
- - -But in the stillness of your soul, me you’ll find”
- - -Mortals do vanish, true love never dies…
- - -To bosom thee, from dead I’ll rise….

______________________

The pearls slid smoothly over his facial curls,
And wet the still heart that bore his name…
The silent heart of a sacred soul,
Dipped in the bloody tears, pious it became……


Copyright © Yash Shinde 2014

All suggestions and tips are welcomed.....

To post a reply to this message, click here
Replies for this message:

 

There is no message posted..
[Hata Bildir]