Writing Poetry

Discuss ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas about how to write better.
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Emma Field Emma Field 18, United Kingdom (2/1/2014 5:09:00 PM)

hey can i have some tips on this poem i have made plz its called " your loved"

Laying there day and night
Not ever feeling happy or alright
You fake a smile for your family and friends
You make it look like a popular trend
All you want to do is cry and weep
And all you want is to be free

You get called names by people at school
So you made a blade a cutting tool
You used the blade on your skin
You wanted to destroy the pain from within
But I hope you know that your not alone
Call me by picking up the phone

Stop cutting with that horrible blade
No one wants you too fade
We all love you so very much
We all no you so we wont judge

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  • Gold Star - 6,924 Points Khairul Ahsan (3/3/2014 12:36:00 AM) Post reply
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    The poem seems to have been written on someone you know so well, a school friend perhaps, who is depressed being subject to bullying or unkind behaviour. I appreciate your efforts at cheering him/her up, your words expressing solidarity with him.
    'But I hope you know that your not alone
    Call me by picking up the phone' - It's indeed a great gesture of friendship.
    'We all love you so very much
    We all know you so we wont judge' - Hope your friend will be inspired by these soothing lines.

  • Rookie Har Srishty (2/8/2014 10:32:00 AM) Post reply

    EMMA. A WONder ful poem successfully conveyed ur feeling. Please edit your poem. " to fade" not too fade it is because i read ur poem carefully. I AM NOT A CRITIC BUT A FRIEND. Thanks

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