(5/25/2013 8:08:00 AM)
There are a lot of very nice things in this poem, particularly in the first two stanzas and in the repetition in the fifth stanza. I'd be happy to give you more specific notes which, of course, you can think about or ingnore, if you are interested in revising the poem. I think that the comment about the length of the poem made by another is valid and that the poem would be stronger if it were more compact and shorter. The fact that he almost didn't read it is an indication that the length is a potential problem.
(5/20/2013 9:03:00 AM)
A very good poem. Thought out and well written. I almost did not read it, do to the poem looking like it was way too long. I am happy that I did. If you are as good a poet that I feel that you are. You must make some of you poems look shorter to keep others from passing them by. Because it is a shame if others do not get to feel the beauty of your words.
your friend in poetry