(5/25/2013 8:08:00 AM)
There are a lot of very nice things in this poem, particularly in the first two stanzas and in the repetition in the fifth stanza. I'd be happy to give you more specific notes which, of course, you can think about or ingnore, if you are interested in revising the poem. I think that the comment about the length of the poem made by another is valid and that the poem would be stronger if it were more compact and shorter. The fact that he almost didn't read it is an indication that the length is a potential problem.
Comment of the Day
- Sentinel Literary Quarterly Poetry Competition
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