Julianna A. Laplante
(5/6/2014 5:04:00 PM)
I am new and I have only written two poems so far and I am very pleased with the responses I have been getting on them. Thank you for taking your time to read them if you have, and check them out if you haven't :)
(5/6/2014 8:32:00 AM)
Up in the vale, deep in the meadow
She glides her way through the blue-black shadow
She walks alone, her voice full of modest
Singing solo, for the death of her closest
Along with tear her face lament strain
For her voice with a melancholy main
Beautiful than a spring-time cuckoo
Sweeter than an Arabian Nightingale
Her song binds the profound valley
Her voice, that gives bravado
To the agonized, to the haunted.
She gives her voice salvaging all
For all she sang, where has she dissipate
Long after she’s gone,
Her song dwelled in my heart, saying never to fail
As, even, I am fragile, but for now left to hail.
[ HI! ! I'm a 15 year-old -girl , I just started writing poems, about 6 months ago. I 'm eager in knowing my flaws and compliments. if you have to say something about my poems kindly mention them. Thank You - Spandana ]
(5/2/2014 2:33:00 PM)
Wish i knew how to ryt my own poems: -(
(4/30/2014 8:46:00 AM)
| Read 1 reply
Dear honest critics, I seek your reviews on this one.....
##To bosom thee.....I'll Rise...##..
He was before his beloved,
Kneeling on his thighs……..
His shoulders down,
With soulful cries…….
Slid down his cheeks, like shiny pearls,
The tears that his doleful eyes did shed….
Was held in them a vision of his mistress,
Who lied helpless in her cold deathbed….
Bowing his head, lifting hands in plea,
Breaking the silence, quoth he-
____”Once bound with the essence of thee
____I now wash the coast like a restless sea”
____”Powered by love my heart did bore,
____I’ll trace your impressions on the sandy shore….”
____”Turning stones time does flow,
____a model of valor, should you lie so low?”
____”your mellow fragrance in the darkness behind,
____tell me my precious, where will I find?”
She raised her eyes, deep as a sea,
In a soothing voice, quoth she-
____”See the alluring florets of rose that,
____bloom opening their carmine lips, ”
____”With a mellow scent, they invite,
____butterflies to deliver a kiss…..”
____”In blossom of rose you shall see me,
____that blooms with the kiss of thee..”
____”Amongst trodden hopes and dismal cries,
____like the sun of hope I will rise! ”
____”Thus like a rose dwelling
____in the eyes of thee”
____”In curls of petals,
____You shall find me…”
With his blood hitting his veins like an edgy sea,
In a painful voice quoth he-
____”Every blossom does wither with time,
____every Bonnie creation someday declines.”
____”In the withered remnants dispelled behind
____ tell me my love where would I find?”
Wiping the tears his had shed.
With calmness of a sage, his beloved said-
____”If you wash the shore like a restless sea.
____in spiriting rivers you shall find me..”
____”Which through meandering turns do make their course,
____and cut through boulders to reach their source…”
____”Like a river unifying with salinity of the sea,
____I lose my soul, and ally with thee..”
____”If like a graceful dove you’ll appraise the sky, ____
____like a breeze from the surface, I’ll rise” ____
____”Like a phoenix that rises from ashes to life, ____
____to wipe your tears from dust I’ll rise”____
____”Like an angel that dwells in heavenly paradise, ____
____to empower the oceanic tides, like moon I’ll rise”____
____”In my portrait I’ll live that dwells in your eyne,
____Like a fragrance that scents I’ll rise” ____
- - -”Search me not the remnants behind,
- - -But in the stillness of your soul, me you’ll find”
- - -Mortals do vanish, true love never dies…
- - -To bosom thee, from dead I’ll rise….
The pearls slid smoothly over his facial curls,
And wet the still heart that bore his name…
The silent heart of a sacred soul,
Dipped in the bloody tears, pious it became……
Copyright © Yash Shinde 2014
All suggestions and tips are welcomed.....
Gangadharan Nair Pulingat
(4/28/2014 2:16:00 AM)
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writing poetry is an inborn creative talent which cannot be explained in words. As an artist draws so many pictures, a poet writes poems in such situations of convenience to him where thoughts provokes the poet for the creativity. The talent of poem writing is to be inspired by the world around him and the real experiences he achieves. A good poem sometimes ignites the minds of the readers and there may be different arguments and meanings among the readers on thepoems which is not a concern of the poet.
(4/25/2014 12:13:00 PM)
1.I am trying not to repeat words
2. I am trying to use the words powerful to more and most powerful.
A Place In You
How can I have a place within you?
I honestly care about your tender ways
Thinking your protection every moment
Loving every details of your life
Understand whatever your past
Forgetting what lies around and behind you
I don’t mind what others ‘r saying
Just give me a little room upon you
Waiting cannot last any longer
Because I will die early longing with you
Shortness of life is everlasting to me
If I had space in the kingdom of your heart
Where will I stay in the rest of my days?
To whom will I give my everlasting commitment?
If your heart is open only for a dot-sized
Will let me pass through a Place within
and open widely to flow like a stream of Love inside you?
(4/25/2014 9:57:00 AM)
| Read 2 replies
How do I write a poem, I really don't know. It starts with just a few words popping in my head, usually from something I've seen, heard, felt or read. Those words just feel like there are more to follow, so I start writing. If more words do follow I keep writing. When I'm done I put it away for a while. Then I read it a few times, first to see if what I wrote really makes any sense to me, then making little changes that make the words feel better. When I read it a few times and when I can't think of anything that make the words feel better, I'm done.
I don't know if my poems are any good, but I like writing them, they make me feel better once they are done. Of course I'm always open to suggestions.Replies for this message:
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Suman Kumar Das
(4/19/2014 10:59:00 PM)
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Are needed two eyes,
Need also tears.
But the ones without eyes!
How they shed tears?
May those salty drops
Brim in all their hearts,
To a size of seven seas
Of this super creation.
Are needed few words,
Need also voice.
But the ones without voice!
How they talk words?
May those unsaid sounds
Inside their hollow hearts
Echo million times
As thunders crash in the sky.
Are needed two limbs
Need also destination.
But the ones without limbs!
How they stride across the way?
May those longing steps
Trek mile after mile every night,
Like the orbit around the sun,
Revolve the planets in the galaxy.
Are needed two ears
Need also mind.
But the ones without ears!
How they hear people?
May those unheard strains
Within their mute minds
Join torn strings of lives’ guitar
To play songs like musicians.Replies for this message:
(4/26/2014 5:26:00 AM)
Great in balance of stanzas and balance of sylabications
(4/23/2014 7:00:00 AM)
I thought you handled the four curses well. Until, oh heck I thought of a fifth one: To Sleep. I can only guess it is a good thing when we wake up we've forgotten all our dreams, and the dreaded nig ... more
- Herbert Guitang (4/26/2014 5:26:00 AM) Post reply
(4/11/2014 1:24:00 PM)
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I've been writing poetry for a many years and each time it gets challenging more and more.
(4/10/2014 8:00:00 AM)
when I'm around you everything wrong felt so right
even in my arms i held you in spite
our differences wanted to make you my miss
now all I see is dusted and fake kisses