Roald Dahl Poems

'My teacher wasn't half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history.
...

Gooses, geeses
I want my geese to lay gold eggs for easter
At least a hundred a day
And by the way
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I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
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'Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!
How long could we allow this beast
To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
On every ...
...

Hey diddle diddle
We're all on the fiddle
And never get up until noon.
We only take cash
...

'Dear friends, we surely all agree
There's almost nothing worse to see
Than some repulsive little bum
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I had a little nut-tree,
Nothing would it bear.
I searched in all its branches,
But not a nut was there.
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Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The candy man, the candy man can
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'If you are old and have the shakes,
If all your bones are full of aches,
If you can hardly walk at all,
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'This famous wicked little tale
Should never have been put on sale
It is a mystery to me
...