Weight Loss Poem by Mary Champion

I can hardly wait until I'm weightless.
When I'm weightless things won't seem so grave.
Freed from massive worries I'll be flying,
riding on the crest of white light's wave.
My brother won't be heavy any longer
for Higgs's sad old boson will have been
as deaded as the dodo bird of legend -
when Man is King and Wisdom is his Queen.
I'm waiting for the day when I am weightless;
as light as any super-slimmer's dream.
Beyond the grave, all mass will be abolished,
no popes or priests included in Her scheme.
I can hardly wait until I'm weightless,
liberated from this mortal toil;
for it is only Time, while it is dying,
that makes such weighty sods of all this soil.
So when Time ends, and Human life's eternal-
a light, bright world, where pain and sorrow cease
will take the weight from wanting perfect pleasure.
We'll stuff all day and never get obese.