URSULA
William nu'utupu giles
So a couple of moths ago one of my friends asked me if i could have sex with any Disney character, who would it be, and why? I immediately answered Ursula the sea witch from the little mermaid. Obviously because she seems vindictive, and i like that sort of thing.
A little while after that, my father sat me down and explained to me that my grandfather and great grandfather both died of alcoholism. And I began to understand why I have always had an attraction to bodies of water who wanted to destroy me. Began to understand why the spirits of liquor always felt like friendly ghosts. Why each shot felt like a family reunion. Why my fingers can still feel the whispers of a ouija board in every bottle. I am a walking shard of sea glass with a past on this rock. Worn down by time and tide I am completely see through in the right light. Growing up on an island, i can only imagine the men in my family learned the best way to overcome a fear of the ocean is to become one. It is impossible to drown in yourself. So I still find myself drinking for days, attempting to make a life raft from hollow bottles, recycled fears, and empty promises, these shaking hands always feel like they are treading water. But the first time I learned to love and to fear in the same breath. I was a sandy beach, also known as break neck beach for the highest rates of broken necks and backs in the country. when the life guards warned me about the potentially fatal undertow, I ask them if they've ever been in love, ever learned how to hold your breath like your life depended on it. See some of us collect bruises from surfing shore break like boy scout merit badges proudly worn across our chest. Some of us confuse the sensation of being waterboarded by a wave with a passionate kiss, some of us wanna stay under water until our bodies are considered sunken treasure. Something people will search for. It is always hurricane season in Hawaii. Everyday. So swimming, isn't always a choice to make, sometimes, the ocean is in your blood. Sometimes the ocean comes for you, so sometimes, when people ask me how my weekend was, I use going forswim as a euphemism for binge drinking alone. I figure it isn't a lie whenever I am trying to become an ocean I am underwater. I am spearfishing for reasons to swim towards the sun but these days my throat is a wishing well I have fallen into. Even now miles away from shore, and moments away from drink, I can still feel the ocean roaring in my blood, calling me, home.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem