The Golfer's Tale Of Woe Poem by Brian Barnett

Brian Barnett

Brian Barnett

follow poet
Brian Barnett
follow poet

The Golfer's Tale Of Woe



I had a little pencil with a rubber on the end,
I used it to record my score, or sometimes to amend.
But I went and stuck it in my ear and twiddled it about,
The rubber got stuck in there, the pencil was without!

We tried to use a cocktail stick and tweezers long and thin,
But every time we gave a prod it just went further in.
And then my wife devised a plan that made me hold my breath:
'A vacuum cleaner's what we need'
I thought, 'We're Dyson here with death.'

So I ended up in hospital, just outside Galway Bay,
By the time we'd filled in all the forms, I'd been there half a day.
And then a pretty little nurse asked me to lie down on a bed,
I hoped she'd try to suck it out, but she poked it in instead.

I then moved on to ENT, with a doctor from Mumbai,
He said, 'Well goodness gracious me, I'd like to have a try.'
Peering deep into my ear, he gave a wicked grin,
But he did the job and I have to say it was better out than in.

Now the moral to this story is really very clear,
If you've a pencil with a rubber - don't stick it in your ear!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Topic(s) of this poem: golf
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
This happened to me after playing a round of golf at Connemara in Ireland.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Be the first one to comment on this poem!
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Brian Barnett

Brian Barnett

follow poet
Brian Barnett
follow poet
Close
Error Success