Surfing Across Guilt Poem by Saroj Padhi

How long will I have to be patient and persistent
before I grow mature enough to understand myself
my foolish fancies, my weaknesses, my angularities
my predilection to fall into lows of an abyss
while barging into fits of passion and emotion
affecting the moon with burden of mythical stains
shocking flowers out of dreams in sleep
into moments of undeserved guilt?
How long will I take to build my cool
in the midst of my uneasy emotions
that propel me to stumble into
lusty dreams of the dawn for the night? ?
Am I a cursed star in the sky of love
looking at splinters of self-image
in the bosom of a broken moon? ? ?
Emotions my own blackmail me
under the blanket of the night
in this house of old doubts
with new fear and new fright.