Resolution Days Poem by Julie Smith

It's one of these special days again
That save you when all goes wrong
When I'm left all alone and then
I realize I need to change

My worst day ever turned out well
You left me and I was blocked out
Back in spring, a day in April
Then I got back up again

A beautiful May day and a bunch of books
Distraction comes in many ways
Ancient inspiration for a new look
And a trip to Berlin to educate

To my surprise it worked pretty well
In less than two weeks I had a great plan
So many new memories and stories to tell
To never give up was the most important thing

Hope can fix a broken heart
You may have left, but not my mind
The brightest days in June, the unforeseen part
Clean and fully healed, when you came back to me

But the story wasn't done
You gave your heart to someone else
Or was it just for fame and fun?
'cause I could feel it still with me

August came and I created
A second-hand reminiscence of magic long gone
When commitment and innocence faded
That was when September had come along

A day long awaited for over a year
Thought I was well prepared
Too much impudence got me frustrated for fear
Your deceit was avenging but time cheated on me

I'm out of your life once again
Not knowing why is worse than before
Now it was me who spoiled my own plan
I got what I needed but now I want more

Mission accomplished was what I said
Operation defective the more suitable term
The engine has crashed and I'm going mad
How can I start it up again?

October baby, can you help me once more?
Get out of your movie and recast your means
Don't think you were perfect when you were better before
And don't drop your precautions for a second off-track

Full circle, but back at the starting point
Is this tricky mess better or worse?
Tables have turned and I've lost your viewpoint
And I don't have a clue about time and place

Again I have to rely fully on you
And if I had the knowledge of the whole world in my head
My only chance would always be trusting in you
Top lesson learned, that's what I'll do