If you were to strip the canvass away,
scrape the surface a little,
you may see a different picture.
Errant parents, drinking, gambling,
indulging in debauchery,
no time for kids.
.
Dark, grim houses line
the depressing camber of the hill
in varying shades of grey.
Cloying smoke pours
from hideous chimneys.
Maybe that's all there is to do?
.
Two walls, oppose each other,
Names are inscribed in
sprinkles of colour, blues and pinks,
emphasising the dullness of the bricks.
Children are at play
and parents are playing away.
.
Strewn around are make shift racing carts,
wheels, separated, in odd positions,
dustbins, lidless, school caps, odd coats,
hang from telephone lines.
You can almost smell the poverty,
and unyielding rows of two ups, two downs.
.
Each lofty abode looks ghostly,
but the children are carefree.
They busy themselves with frolics.
bringing the canvass to life in flecks of colour,
contrasting the unforgiving truth
daubed by the artist's gifted hand.
.
.
(cont.) 'Canvas' is most commonly used as a noun and refers to a specific type of strong cloth used for sails, tents, and as a surface for painting.'
Yes as I was describing a painting, what I thought the painting meant, interpreting it if you like. I use metaphors quite a lot so when you say the poem needs changing, think again as you haven't understood my meaning within the metaphors. Read it more carefully, it's not straight forward
re 'canvass': ''Canvass' is most commonly used as a verb to refer to soliciting votes for an election. It can also sometimes be used as a noun to refer to a canvassing operation. (cont.)
I'm glad, VERY GLAD, that I could give it FIVE STARS today, not having given it any the 'first time around'! ! ! If I had given less than ***** LAST TIME, PH would not let me vote 1,2,3,4, or five today. bri : )
Could I have been insane after reading this poem the first time? ? ? ! ! ! Now I 'love' it, almost as much as I 'love' you, Ruth. : ))) NOW I give it ***** and make it a FAVORITE.
I'm not sure that I understand the last two lines, but..........MY GOD, (if a God exists) , how could my 'reading' today make me enjoy this poem SO MUCH? ? ?
Ruth, I strongly feel that this is one (one of VERY few) of your usually very fine poems which needs some changing (quite a bit) . Now I'll read another one. ;) bri
Errant means 'straying' and the parents were straying from their responsibilities and from each other as they were 'playing away' which means having illicit relationships with others over here. I don't know if you use that term where you are.
And NEITHER definition which I found online for 'errant' sounded 'right' to me. I believe you mean just plain 'BAD parents', for what it's worth. : (
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
It's been a while dear Ruth, the poetry is simply great and I thank you.