Life Without A Mother Poem by Tamura Freeman

Physically my mother really does exit today
But events in my life went a different way,
Down through the years I’ve bounced from one to another
Let me share just a little of life without a mother.

Growing up my mother wasn’t there for my sister or me
Although she had kids she still wanted to be free,
She may not have been aware of the damage she was doing
And she couldn’t understand the anger and hurt that was brewing.

Very little time was spent with us
Mostly when we saw her all she did was fuss,
She rarely listened to anything we said
Slowly in my mind she became one who was dead.

The happiness I had was hard to keep when she was around
Anything that was good she shot down,
For a long time it was a crime to smile
So I had a long face for quite a while.

As time went on she continued to drift further away
Only when we were in school did we see her from day to day,
Holidays and summer months should have been a special time
The less I saw of her the more she died in my mind.

In my life things started to move really fast
Thinking as a child changing to a thing of the past,
My ideas and the things I liked started to flourish
Yet from her I was always discouraged.

I did well in school and always scored high on my tests
The better I did it seemed she could care less,
All I wanted was to shine in her sight
Through her eyes I could never do right.

My questions went unanswered and my thoughts unheard
At that time I didn’t know all I needed was the Word,
No one to talk to and responsibility thrown in my lap
This has caused a serious emotional handicap.

I have been hurt in ways not many can imagine
Only a few can say what happened,
There was no shoulder to shed my tears
In my heart I’ve carried many fears.

My adolescent years were a struggle and a strain
She offered no help in dealing with the pain,
I coped with things the best way I knew how
I’ve come a long way from then up to now.

At times I would spend hours thinking on my bed
Whatever she did to help would be held over my head,
This had to stop because to me it wasn’t fair
If it wasn’t from the heart then it meant she didn’t care.

I decided to move forward and hold fast to my plans
Maybe with my progress she would begin to understand,
It didn’t take long and it all worked out good
But to this day she still hasn’t understood.

I’m a grown woman now and can do things for myself
My mind and spirit are coming together and I have my health,
With the guidance and strength from many others
So far this is how I survived life without a mother.