Invention Of The Letter ‘c’ Poem by Lucas Gaylord

I have a proposal to make!
One that fills me with glee,
It is obnoxious, ridiculous, useless and preposterous;
I call it the letter ‘c.’

We have silent g’s, h’s, and e’s,
Words with five definitions apiece,
But I feel there is something missing ‒
Our language is still too or-din-ary.

We create a new letter!
Call it letter ‘c.’
It’s a k, an s, and a ch, combined,
but really it’s none of those three.

…

No word is safe, no word is sound!
The letter ‘c’ will violate every word around.

…

Cool, calm, and collected,
The letter ‘c’ sounds like k,
But for cent, cell, and celery,
it will be the cause for some dismay.

And just when they think they’ve figured it,
We’ll give them jock, schism (siz-uhm,) and czar.
It’ll torture generations of English students.
Complete chaos.