I Think This Planet Might Be Hell Poem by Julia Luber

I went through something frightening tonight. And I don't know if I will
ever recover. I can not explain it. It was like life felt only like pure and plain
hell for what felt like a VERY LONG while. Because I was stuck somewhere where
I felt nowhere near home and nowhere near a planet and a life I once knew. I could
not believe how alienating and disgusting everything felt. I had no good memories
to restore my sense of privacy nor autonomy nor sensibility. I know it all had to do
with something awful that would be far more terrifying to truly understand the intricate
and complex reasons of. The reasons are traumatic, clinical and horrifying.
This planet might truly and really be hell, I think sometimes. And I do wonder
why I am here. Why this planet has become hell to me. It was not always.
It was so awful I considered getting off and walking several miles, just to get out and
off. I did not because I knew I would be too exhausted. But I wanted to feel the cool
night air and the fresh sense of being outside so badly. Inside it was all what looked
like speed addicts and gang members and coughing and sneezing people getting
their germs everywhere. I kept moving around to get away from this situation. It was
so horrifying I felt like I would rather be dead than take public transportation. I know
it is not always that bad. I don't know why it happened that it was simply the most
disgusting and revolting experience I ever had of'public' transportation in my life.
It was so sickening. Thank God it wasn't an elevator with the same people but it
was horrifying anyway. It felt like a lateral elevator. That much of a nightmare.
Why would I want to tell you about this? Why would I want to share this horrifying
experience? Cleanse me of this nightmare. Make me feel like this planet isn't really
hell because I have a sneaking suspicion that it actually really is. Really, Really, Really.