Dear Old Bessie Poem by Kelvin Rush

Dear old Bessie was lazy and messy
She was grumpy and rude to her neighbours
She would sit in her chair watching endless tv
Eating takeaways buns and cheese quavers

She would argue and shout and boss everyone about
She was tiny overweight and very bitter
She had two swollen feet and prickly heat
She loved crosswords and was a keen knitter

She was callous unclean self-righteous and mean
She was angry and always complaining
She would struggle to walk needed endless support
Home help found her awkward and draining

At her funeral in May on her ninetieth birthday
There was lots of backbiting and scoffing
Her tea cosy hat that she knitted herself
Sat proud on the top of her coffin