Wemdy Adams

My New Year's Resolution begins today,
Yes, I'm jolly well going to have my say.
Hubby's been dead now for going on one year
I'm not scared of ghosts, there's nothing to fear.
...

You'll see when you read my first name
That it has an 'M', not an 'N'.
'Is that correct? ' you may ask,
'Or had she been at her hip flask? '
...

I am so very lucky to be living in this town,
Where youngsters say 'It's boring' and 'There's no fun to be found',
Where summer fetes can still be held upon the village green
And macho means the locals playing in the pub darts team.
...

What a lovely time I had today,
Whizzed round the shops without delay
Because school term has now begun,
The old go off to have some fun.
...

This January morning's such a dreary grey outside,
The sky is dark and leaden, cold breeze shivering the pines;
A stray damp squirrel plods across the sodden, muddy lawn:
Staying warm in bed beats getting out to greet the dawn.
...

As my dear mother used to say
While we together used to play
With each other, ears a-flapping
While the grown-ups' tongues were wagging:
...

Dark and stormy is the weather indeed,
Black clouds scudding across the hidden blue,
Raindrops punctuate the swishing sounds
Of wipers oscillating to and fro.
...

Listen, Aunty Wemdy's going to give career advice
To help you move yourself along fast up the greasy pole,
You may be shocked and some of it may not seem very nice,
Worry not, for it will help you reach your career goal.
...

Sitting by my two bar fire
Listening to the gale outside,
Mittens keep my fingers warm
As they stitch and never tire
...

Oh no, I've got a day behind
On my New Year's resolution.
Sometimes it's very hard to find
Ideas for elocution.
...