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You show some promise, but the archaic language lets you down. Try to read some good contemporary poets and expand your thoughts without the restriction of form.
what a meaningful poem that taught me the meaning of sacrifice, the woman decided to make a song of her pains to make the rich happy although the song will never reach the rich
A Pathetic BalladBen Battle was a soldier bold,And used to war's alarms;But a cannon-ball took off his legs,So he laid down his arms.Now as they bore him off the field,Said he, 'Let others shoot;