When The Night Comes Poem by Shelby Lanier

When The Night Comes

Rating: 3.5


I sit here at night
Thinking of you
Wondering where you are
And longing to be with you

I give a silent sigh
And my heart is in pain
Because the thought of you
Makes me go insane

I sit holding my pillow
And stare into the dark
Thinking that i see you
Leaves me this precious mark

The thought of you there
And me sitting here
Brings tears to my eyes
And gives me a deeper fear

That i will loose you
Within a blink of an eye
That you'll be gone
And that I can't say goodbye

I sit here alone
And then loose my breath,
Because the thought of you gone
Just drives me to my death!

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Greenwolfe 1962 17 July 2008

The rhymes are good but the rhythm is very shaky. I could only give it a 7 because of that mostly. It also is on a subject that is frequently written about. That means it needs something to distinguish it from another of its kind. I just didn't see that. GW62

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Shelby Lanier

Shelby Lanier

Raliegh, North Carolina
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