This Is Not My Life Poem by Lesa MRK

I know what my life is - and this is not my life.
I've waited so long, cried so many tears,
Yet still, five months later,
My world is still a foolish game,
Where wishing, wondering, weeping, and waiting,
Only exist.

All the dreams I had are crushed,
All the hopes I thought were meant to be,
Have become empty promises.

Each day I ask why and there are no answers.
Each day I cry and there is no loving comfort.

All I dreamed of and hoped for are gone.
Now there is emptiness and pain,
Where there should have been beauty and light.

I awaken each day and I hurt,
And yearn to have my life back.
This is not my life.

The life I dreamed of was full of beauty,
The laughter of children....
A loving song, a lifetime of blessings,
All of it gone and taken too soon.
And still I ask why,
And I can't help but cry.

This is not my life.

(Written 1/14/98 ~ Five months after my 3rd pregnancy loss)