Knocking On Heavens Door Poem by Tahnee Somebody

Why is it now, after all this time, I can finally cry? Never thought to ask why. Always thought that I would die. Another suicide. But here I am alive. Whose to say that I survived? My head is a mess, it’s going insane. I’m stuck in a rut, going down once again. I’m drowning in the river. No boat to save me this time. My emotions are the water. And I’m going down. Deeper and deeper into the darkness of my soul. Further and further away from my goals. I’ve killed you before. Watched you passed out on the floor. Never thought you would be the one, calling me to the other side, begging me to die. I’m contemplating the end. Choosing between life and my best friend. The sacrifices that we make, could mean giving up my life. I don’t wanna live. I never have before. So why am I not yet knocking on heavens door. It’s because he loves me more. More than you ever could, more than you ever would. Your passion for death was far greater than your love for me. Why am I so blind to see. You never wanted me. You wanted what you couldn’t have, what I didn’t want to give. You took it without permission, and I’ll never forgive. It used to freak me out. Any touch from another would send shivers down my spine. No one ever knew what I was about. Cuts up and down my arm. Always trying to manipulate my self-harm. And then I hear a song. It reminds me of him. And I think again. I don’t wanna give in. Your hands out waiting, dying for my grasp. But I have something better now. Something that’s gonna last. So I don’t mind now if I cry. Because it’s about time that I let go and said goodbye.