Simon Gowen
Simon Gowen Poems
I was chatting with a friend today
I think you’ll find it funny
He’s Just won Thirty Thousand Pounds
Now Jack Pott’s in the money!
...
I've met a kinky lady,
I can't reveal her name.
But she has introduced me to,
The chocolate ice cream game.
...
I love to wear my nightie
Its silky and it’s sheer
If you come round now I’ll wear it
While I’m pouring you a beer
...
I need to ask a question
While I'm sitting here alone
Why on earth did someone name
The elbow, Funny Bone?
...
I've just received a phone call from a man in Bangladesh
Tryin' to sell me stuff I didn't need.
So I rustled up some swear words that I thought that he would know,
In a vain attempt to make his ears bleed!
...
The lonely man knows lonely like no other
The lonely man greets solitude each day
The lonely man just wants to be a brother
So someone else can hear him when he says
...
There’s nothing more inviting
Than my brand new pair of slippers
Unless someone invents me
Some furry lining knickers.
...
The doc said I've a sweet tooth
Though he couldn't say which one
To try and help resolve this
I'll have to eat a scone
...
You may or may not know this
But the company I keep
Have featured in a film or two
Their services are cheap.
...
Now before you go and find one,
I’ve written you a guide
On what goes on with men these days
So keep this by your side.
...
I’m a feisty little red head.
I’m a mother and a wife.
I am clever and outrageous
I lead an interesting life.
...
I’m in trouble with my parents
It happens all the time
I’ve been watching “Tim” on Bargain Hunt
He helped me in my crime!
...
I lost a friend of mine today
They put him in a box
I spun it round 3 times onstage
Now all we’ve found is socks!
...
I took a walk into the woods
I needed inspiration
When I heard a voice say
“Scuse me sir” I turned in hesitation
...
Its Christmas time at our house,
We've got presents round the tree.
There's some there for my brothers,
And there's one or two for me.
...
There's something lurking in my room
It hides beneath my bed
I called my dad to come and help
But he just laughs instead
...
When I was just a simple boy
I simply had no clue
Of how to get a girlfriend
Or with her what to do
...
As I awoke this morning
On a pillow filled with feather
I dreamt I'd won myself a date
With the girl who reads the weather
...
She's the girl from Billericay
With the warm and gripping voice
If I had to pick a singer
Without fail she'd be my choice
...
A mountain I must conquer
Why? Because it's there
No more TV for a while
No slouching in the chair
...
Simon Gowen Biography
I'm a fun loving gent from the UK. Most of my days are filled with humour, watching, or creating. Hopefully this is reflected in some of my poems. Once in a while, something 'Serious' or thought provoking manages to force it's way out. But generally, my aim is fun. And sharing. I think its a wonderful gift to be able to place a smile, onto the face of someone you may never meet. Or if you're lucky, the chance to place a memory in the mind of another. Something they will then carry with them.)
The Best Poem Of Simon Gowen
Whats In A Name?
I was chatting with a friend today
I think you’ll find it funny
He’s Just won Thirty Thousand Pounds
Now Jack Pott’s in the money!
So then that got me thinking
Of some other folk I knew
Like my mate who’s with the Coast guard
Aaron C Reskew
If you have some dodgy plumbing
And you need to call him out
Then do yourself a favour
Give my mate Lee King a shout.
We also have a Dentist
He’ll clean your teeth for you
You’ll find him in the phone book
And his name is Mr Chu
It’s nice and quiet where I live
We rarely hear of Crime
But Robin Holmes has just been caught
And now he’s doing time
And the officer that found him
The one we have to thank
Is a happy Policeman once again
So thank you Robin Banks
Now Holmes received his sentence
From a judge called Laura Norder
A lovely looking Scottish lass
From just across the border.
A mile away, there is a Zoo
It’s run by Jim Pansy
At Christmas time it’s all lit up
By a man called Chris Mastry
Chris is the brains behind the team
That help throughout the season
He leads a team of 3, there’s him
Phil Cool and Crispin Evin
By the Zoo, there is a park
2 ladies keep it clean
Grace Quirell tends to flowering shrubs
Supplied by Teresa Greene
It’s in the park I walk my dog
I call her Nora Bone
We stop and play for just an hour
Then make our way back home
We pass the school where I first met
The singer, Carrie Oakey
We’d play around in music class
With drum sticks she would poke me!
I won’t forget the teacher’s name
She taught Carrie to sing
A friend to students young and old
Her name, Amanda Lynn
Amanda is the clever sort
The smartest one we know
She met her boyfriend on the net
His name’s Philip Eno
There’s one or two, I haven’t met
To this I must confess
But if I tell you who they are
I’ll let you do the rest
A man named Horace cope moved in
He seems a mystery
So if you find out what he does
Then please get back to me
And Sheila Blige with low cut vests
She hangs around my street
She’s not the sort of woman that
I’d really want to meet.
Joe Kerr, now he’s a funny man
He likes to play the fool
And next to him a lady and
I think her names Jean Poole.
Joe, he has a brother,
The Spanish sounding, Juan
He tends to live the single life
A solitary man.
So I’ve given you an insight
To the people that I know
I’ve rambled on for far too long
And now I have to go.
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4/19/2024 11:30:08 PM # 1.0.0.1119
I'm so glad I came accross your poems! You've quickly become one of my favorite poets on this site!