shenika vermaak

Childhood is hanging your pictures on the refrigerator, and tea parties you always have to cater.
Childhood is chasing butterflies and picking flowers,
playing with blocks and making towers.
Childhood is hating nap time,
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One year ago you died, and still we mourn,
Nor will our mourning end till it be night,
Even as time turns our tears to light
Years hence, when this may be more easily borne.
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You look so peaceful lying there
With your hands folded upon your chest.
You look like you are sleeping
But you are at eternal rest.
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I am like everyone else
I wonder why no one understands me
I hear the whispers
I hear em' laugh
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I sit here all alone,
holding in all I have to say.
Can't someone see me crying here?
I cry here everyday.
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When we were young I followed you,
We played, we fought, and had fun a time or two. When we grew taller,
and thought we knew it all
and one of us would fall,
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Mothers and daughters ought to be friends,
But there is a lot that gets in the way.
The determined pursuit of opposite ends,
Ends up as harsh words we would rather not say.
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You are the rose about to bloom,
The color soon to wake,
The perfume set to scent the breeze,
The bud about to break.
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To my dad on his day,
Of whom I am a living will:
May your happiness fulfill
Your goodness, as is just and right.
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I'm sorry for everything you've been through
It must've been very hard on you
I'm sorry for all that's been said and done
I was the moon, you were the sun
...

Have you ever noticed how much they are always there?
How much you want them to just disappear but then you realize'
Realize how much they mean to you and just how much you love them
Most likely not because they can tend to upset us sometimes
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The queasy feeling in my stomach
The pounding in my head
The only thoughts in my mind
Were wishing I was dead
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That girl I saw
Not long before
Has left me now
But how long for?
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She is very beautiful
one of a kind
she's normal and simple
but she's hard to find
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Tears bottled up
she's going to explode.
Trying not to let them fall,
or let emotion show.
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Falling in my pit of darkness
I sit upon the black rose of sadness
Dreaming of the day filled with happiness
Only to end with loneliness
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You see the pain that lies in my eyes
But, alas, my eyes are dry,
I won't cry
No, I won't cry.
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Can't you see
The pain in my eyes?
But this is me
And my life.
...

What happened to the good old days?
Back when my life was full of joy and happiness?
Back when my world was a beautiful place to live?
Back when people loved one another and everyone smiled?
...