Anything that makes you laugh. But the finest sort draws a tear along with the laugh.
(George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Anglo-Irish playwright, critic. First published in The Candid Friend (May 18, 1901). "Who I Am, and What I Think," Sixteen Self Sketches, Constable (1949).
On humor.)
(Mary Stuart (1542-1587), Scottish monarch, Queen of Scotland (Mary Queen of Scots) (1542-1567). Remark, March 9, 1566. Attributed.
After the murder of her favorite, David Rizzio, by an opposing faction led by Mary's husband, Lord Darnley, who was himself murdered the following year.)
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
(Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British statesman, writer. Speech, May 13, 1940, House of Commons. Vol. 6, Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897-1963, ed. Robert Rhodes James (1974).
Maiden speech as prime minister.)