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Quotations From MARK TWAIN [SAMUEL LANGHORNE CLEMENS]

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  • 31.
    I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. 1907. Eli Stormfield, in "Extracts from Capt. Stormfield's Visit to Heaven," p. 835, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).

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  • 32.
    To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 37, Following the Equator (1897).
  • 33.
    It is an art apart. Saint Francis of Assisi said—"All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel."
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Mark Twain's Notebook, ed. Albert B. Paine (1935).
  • 34.
    Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 60, Following the Equator (1897).

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  • 35.
    Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Which Was the Dream?" (Written 1897), published in Which Was the Dream and Other Symbolic Writings, ed. John S. Tuckey (1967). Unfinished story; real name is Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

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  • 36.
    There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Following the Equator, ch. 36, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," (1897). The epigram also appears as an entry, 1898, in Twain Notebook, ch. 31, ed. Albert Bigelow Paine (1935).
  • 37.
    There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 56, Following the Equator (1897).

    Read more quotations about / on: life
  • 38.
    India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Following the Equator, ch. 43 (1897).
  • 39.
    By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "More Maxims of Mark," p. 941, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).
  • 40.
    As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Seventieth Birthday Speech," p. 715, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).
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