Quotations From MARK TWAIN [SAMUEL LANGHORNE CLEMENS]

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  • 91.
    If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Pudd'nhead Wilson, ch. 16, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar," (1894).

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  • 92.
    Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 54, Following the Equator (1897).
  • 93.
    There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Old Times on the Mississippi," Atlantic Monthly (1874). Life on the Mississippi, ch. 17 (1883).
  • 94.
    You tell me whar a man gits his corn-pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. (1901)(?). "Corn-Pone Opinions," p. 507, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).
  • 95.
    In the South, the war is what A.D. is elsewhere: they date from it.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Life on the Mississippi, ch. 45 (1883).

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  • 96.
    Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 7, Following the Equator (1897).

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  • 97.
    If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Daily Alta California (November 3, 1867). Traveling with the Innocents Abroad, ch. 25, ed. David Morley McKeithan, University of Oklahoma Press (1958).

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  • 98.
    The very ink in which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 69, Following the Equator (1897).

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  • 99.
    I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Tom Sawyer Abroad, ch. 11 (1894).

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  • 100.
    She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
    Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 57, Following the Equator (1897).
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