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Biography of Pushkar Bisht
MEANING OF NAME: ->
Pushkar, literally meaning 'a lotus that blooms in mud', is also home to one of the only two temples dedicated to Brahma, the other being at Khed Brahma in Keral.
ABOUT MY WRITING: ->
Right from the childhood I used to feel very alone and I had no very close friend to share my joys and sorrows. I made a nice friendship with books and started feeling very happy after that. When I am going through a lot of tough time and hardship I can't share with anybody. I have started writing poems for the last 4 years. In my life nothing gave me more happiness than my poems. I feel great when I am expressing my pain in words. Writing poetry is just like a medicine for me when I am very much upset. I have written more than 200 poems but I liked “some unforgettable moments” most of all other poems because it has touched my heart deeply. I am fond of reading different kinds of literature. I read My Apprenticeship written by Maxim Gorky recently it is a very nice book and tells that how a boy struggled to reach his goal in his life. I am fond of writing on every theme. Some of my poems are Nature, Life, Squirrel, Peanuts, The weather, A mad girl and An old beggar. I want to know about life more and more so that I can write and tell the people what exactly the life it is. I want to make my home in the lap of the mother nature so that I can see the world as it is.
ABOUT MYSELF (MY STORY) : ->
I was born on 26.6.1985 at Askote, Pithoragarh (Uttaranchal) . It is located in the heart of nature. Being very emotional right from the childhood was very habit. Tears would always roll down my cheeks. I was aware of this world right from the childhood. I did never feel happy. My family was very nice. There were uncles, aunts, grandparents and parents in the family. My father had four brothers and two sisters. I had my nice grandparents and parents. My father was the second eldest son in the family. Our family was very big but everybody got separate because of his share of the property. After the partition of the property my grandparents would stay alone. They had to do the things themselves. I was very small but I could easily read the sorrow from their faces. They were very sad but they did not ever tell anybody about this. My grandparents would indeed love my very much.My father would say to them that he has got spoilt because of your love and care. You have given him enough love and care that he does not study properly. I was very afraid of my father from the childhood. When he would ask me to read, If I did not read properly he would throw the chilly powder into my eyes after that I would rub my eyes to clean my eyes but it was not very much effective. Sometimes my father beat me badly till some marks of stick left on my back with the stick made by him. My father had never very ruthless with me. He was very a polite and good-natured person. When he would started beating me, he never thought he had to take any revenge from me but It was for my improvement of my studies. I respect my father from the core of my heart. He was in the army but very soon he left the army and tried his hand in business, ever since he has been running his business. I hardly spent four years of my childhood at my village. I liked my village very much. Every day I would take cows to the woods to graze. I would enjoy watching when every cow was eating the grass. They were all familiar with me. All the cows would follow my order silently. None of them was to go against my order. I would sit on a big rock and took care of cows that they would not lose the way. Once I heard from my grandparents that there lived a leopard far away in a den from the village he could come anytime to kill cows but I did not get frightened at this. I could easily face this problem. I was very brave and fearless in my childhood.
Every morning my mother would make tea for grandparents and for me as well. I would do one very bad thing that I mixed some water in tea when I would take. My mother would scold me for this doing and said that you might suffer a big problem one day. I was very happy at my village. I got shocked when my father decided to take us to Delhi me, my brother and my mom. I told my father that I did not want to go to Delhi but my father made me understand that you have to go there for better education because my father believed that there was no good education at village. He would think If I would stay my grandparents any longer I would get spoilt fully. My grandparents assured me that you should go to Delhi for better education with your parents. I did not really want to come to Delhi but I could not do anything at last I agreed with my father. One morning we woke up early and made preparations to Delhi. My father, mother, me and my younger brother. That time my sister was not born. I was hardly four or five years old then. My grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins everybody gave us a nice farewell. They were all crying because of our departure from the village. My parents and me also wept bitterly. I could hardly stop this situation from happening because it was the law of nature. We got in a bus and drove away from the village for a long time. I was insisting my mom and dad that I want to go back but they told me we would not go back now. I was very sad and emotional. Tears did not stop rolling down the cheeks. My whole face was wet with tears. After a little later I fell in a deep sleep in my mother's lap. It took 24 hours to reach Delhi without any delay. When we reached delhi I felt strange and thought it was an unknown city to me which I was not ever familiar with. My father he was already staying in Delhi before he took us to Delhi. Father was staying in a rented house. That time the rent was
about 500 Rupees per month including electricity and water. There was no dearness. Everything was very cheap. The place where we were staying was munirka. This place was occupied by Jat people. They had their own language. They were very rude to tenants but we never had a fight with them. Our and my father's brother's family were staying together in the same house but they hardly with us some years after that they left for village. My father's elder brother thought It would not be very easy to survive with the family in Delhi. He could not gather his courage and decided to send the family to the village forever. We stayed alone without them in Delhi. My father worked in a company earlier but he stopped working because the salary was not sufficient. My father's big brother after sending his family to village. He opened a hotel in Munirka and started running since then. My father decided to join his business. The business was a good start for my father. He started earning much more than his salary. He was very happy. After some days we shifted to other place from there. We got a big room like a hall on the first floor and but there was no kitchen attached with the room. There was a large open veranda in front of the room. My father decided to stay in this room. We were staying happily in this room for the five years. The time came when I took admission in a school named Janta Adarsh Vidya Mandir. The School was from nursery upto 5th standard. It was an English-medium school. My father wanted me to learn English. The fees was not very high of the school. The school had no building but tent. I had a very good environment in school. All the teachers and my friends were good and well behaved. There was a big banyan tree in the school under which all children would play during the recess break. The school was not very far from the home. Every day my father would dropp me at school on foot. I would enjoy going to school too much, even now I am missing my those days. How I wish I could get my that time back but I know once the time is gone, it never comes back. My father would buy me one ice-cream everyday after the school was over. I would go back happily with my father.
When my younger brother grew 5 years old my father sent him to school to study. My younger sister was born after some years. My father was very happy at this time because he had already two sons and wanted to get a daughter but this time he got a daughter. He distributed sweets of good quality to the people. My sister was very round and pretty during her childhood. On a day when she was to be named. My father invited the relatives and his own on this auspicious occasion. Every body came and had a great time with us. My father asked my grandparents to come to Delhi to stay with us for some days. When they came to Delhi I touched their feet and took blessings from them because they were my ideal. I had a a lot of fun with grandparents and they also had. Everyday I would take my grandpa to market for a walk. My grandpa was in the Army. He had a very strong body. When he would speak to me it seemed as though he were still in the Army. They stayed with us for one month. My father wanted a snapshot of the whole family together. My father took us to a nearby photo studio for the snapshot to be taken together. We reached the photo studio and cameraman was ready to click the camera on all of us.
My father dropped them at the bus stand from there they went themselves. I started missing my grandparents after they left. I was very good in my studies in childhood. I passed two classes in one year that was the best performance which I had ever done in my life. When I grew 10 years old. I became a little dull in my studies. My father would scold me of not paying more attention to my studies. He would offer me severe punishment so that next time I would read and learn attentively. I was very different from the other boys in my class. My friends were very mischievous and naughty but I was not. I was busy and kept myself reserved. I was a little happy with them. One my close friend named sanjay he would talk to me and support me in studies. We shared the lunched with each other during the recess. Every now and then I would visit his home. His parents were very good. He lived in a government quarter but I lived in a private sector. This friendship did not remain longer than some years. When I was in fifth standard I was missing those days when I took admission. The day of farewell came and we all friends were very sad because no one would see any body any more from now onwards.
I would be very much scared of my father because he was very strict and angry in family. When he would come back from work at night, I would try to seek a hiding place in washroom but my mother said, he would not say anything to you, let's go and sleep. My father was never bad from heart, he really loved me very much. Whenever my father would start to beat me, my mother protected me from my father's beating. My mother advised him, if you keep on beating him like this, one day he would die. He is just a child. You can make him understand by speaking of the fact, then my father would realize over this. My mother was a good lady. She was very polite and respectable for me. she would not even think of harming others in dream. What a nice lady she is, I feel proud of my mother too much. She would tell me about good manners. She would always be helpful to others in their financial problems as well as in family problems. We had very good neighbours in neighbourhood. They all respected and loved us. We had also very good relationship with them. We never tried to hurt anybody's feelings.
Jaat people would be considered as bad people but the jaat people in our neighbourhood were very good and decent to everybody. We would share the things with each other. Our relatives hardly visited us every now and then. I liked my relatives. They would bring something to eat for us. My own aunt would visit us everyday because she lived near from our home. She was a very decent lady. She had two children both were male. Dabhu was the elder son and bobby was younger. They were very cute and handsome. Both were very good in studies. Our relatives hardly visited us every now and then. I liked my relatives. They would bring something to eat for us. My own aunt would visit us everyday. Their father, my uncle had a shoe shop in munirka. It was running very good for a long time but one day someone advised my uncle to go abroad to earn more than this. My uncle did not decide properly and he sold his shop for managing money to get his visa and passport ready. He sent his family to village so that he could send money my aunt from abroad. The day came when he flew to Malaysia. My uncle had a lot of pleasant dreams but one day he came back empty-handed, everybody got dumbfounded to see him. Nobody dared to ask him what the matter was. My uncle had nothing to lose after that because he had put everything at stake. He started to work in a private company to run his family. Since then he has been working in the same company.
Our landlord was very rude to everybody. He did not open the gate. If anybody knocked at the door. Sometimes he would go against his will to open the gate because of a loud knocking noise on the gate. If he opened the gate, he would put a heap of questions in front of them, thereafter he gave them permission to come in otherwise he would speak to them impolitely. It would really irritate our relatives for this misbehaviour. My father was really angry with him at this but he did not speak anything because we had to live in his building. I still remember that day When I kept on knocking at the door but there was no response from inside, After a little latter my bad landlord opened the gate and appeared in front of me. He shouted at me at his top voice and said 'is this the time to come home? I spoke to him, I had an urgent work that was why I went somewhere. He gave me two tight slaps and pushed onto the floor after that he started to kick me a lot of times. I did not tell my father about that. Had I told my father about this he would have scolded him badly but I did not want to make it happen. I was weeping bitterly when there was no one in the room. We had to face a lot of problems. We never became rude to our landlord in spite of his bad manners but his family was very nice. His wife, son and daughters.
The youngest daughter of the landlord would come to us to eat rice sometimes. We would offer her some rice in a small bowl with a little spoon. She would enjoy being with us most of her time. We taught her about good manners. When she grew up. she became very polite. When we shifted from there, the youngest daughter of the landlord started to cry but I made her quiet saying, don't cry oh little doll then she became very quiet. We did not want to shift from there but We had a big problem that there was no drain when my mother would wash used utensils all the dirty water went down, at this our landlord would be very annoyed with us. The room was small but we adjusted ourselves somehow. The day we shifted our room, we got a very shocking news from our uncle that his son has died. Everybody got very sad to hear in the family. My father and mother decided to go to attend this funeral. They had mourning for some time. The same day they came back.
We also had very goo neighbours over here because we were well-behaved and well spoken. I had passed my 5th Class. My father wanted to put me in 6th standard but he could not get any school, at last he put me in a nearby school named Indian Public School. The school was not very big. The owner of the school rented some rooms for running the school. There were a few children. There were hardly 7 or 8 children in each class. There were three teachers. They would teach us all the subjects. I was happy in the school and made some good friends. I took coaching class from the principal of the school. After I passed my 5th class. I became a little bit dull in my studies so I had so many coaching classes from 6th standard to 12th standard. My father was not very much able to afford my fees because he had to run family. One day my father told me he would put me in a government school because he was not able to afford. My father really worked hard for my studies day and night. He was in low spirits every now and then but he never tried to disclose it any one in family.
My father was very depressed for my admission. He tried many government schools for getting admission but in vain. All the teachers would ask my father, Where has he passed his 6th class? Then my father would say he passed his 6th class from Indian Public School with good marks. When they were all satisfied with the answers of my father, they would again ask him a question, Was it recognized from where he passed. My father replied, No then they told my father first put him in a recognized school then come to us straight for admission. My father could not do anything except putting me in a private school. The school I got in 7th standard was very nice and English-medium. Once my father took me to a school for the admission. He requested the teachers to take test of my son. They agreed to take test. When I failed the test, My father got very angry and sad because of test. On reaching the home, My father took off his belt wrapped around his waist. He beat me black and blue with his belt as if my father wanted to kill me. There were many marks of belt on my back, my forehead started to swell. I had got a lot of injuries all over my body because of hard beating. The blood started to come out from my hurts. Hurting my father's feeling was more unbearable than his beatings for me. I did not ever wish in my dream about father being upset.
Whenever I would hurt his feelings, I would feel very sorry. Everyone gathered at my home from my neighbourhood for me, When they found me wounded, they started cursing my father about this beating, but when they got to know the fact. They told me you should have worked very hard earlier, your father works very hard and you have dashed all his hopes, it is not fair. My mother gave me a glass of milk mixed with turmeric. It was believed that If we took milk mixed with turmeric, it would help healing all the injuries. I promised my father that I must work hard from now onwards, I won't ever upset you. I realized and repented but he would beat him every now and then When I would become a little bit dull in my studies. I went to my school regularly and studied attentively.
When I took admission in 7th class in Mohyal Public School. I saw a girl she was very beautiful and pretty. I fell in love with her at first glance. I wanted to propose her but I could not. she was a little bit good in studies. I would sit in the last bench to see her from here. When she would talk to her friends I would keep on watching her beautiful face. I never started a chat with her because I was unknown to her. I wanted to have a friendship with her but she had left the school by then. I could not ever know about her. I did not know even her name. Had I known about her name, I would have asked somebody about her. When I told my class mates about that girl. They told me, Which girl are you talking about? I could not make them understand. I was sure that had she been longer in the school I would have made her my good friend. It was better for me to forget that girl because if I thought about that girl more, I would not be able to concentrate on my studies properly. I forgot her after some days. I concentrated on my studies. I liked my maths teacher very much. she was a very good teacher. She would help me to solve each and every question of the mathematics. When she would scold me, I never took her scolding to my heart while I thought, Whatever She told me, It was all for my good. There were many others teachers but I liked her most of all in the school. When I was in 11th standard. I met her on my way to home. She was moving ahead of me. When I caught sight of her, I recognized her on the spot and said, Namasty Madam, She told me, who are you? I told her, I am pushkar and was studying in 7th standard in Mohyal Public School. She recognized me asked me, how are you doing these days? I told her, everything is fine. She asked me to come home to take a cup of tea with biscuits but I said, I have some work, I will come some other day. She asked me ok as you wish. I would ask about that madam from my aunt who was a school teacher in the same school.
My father would speak to me, early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy and fit. I would follow his instructions strictly because he was very strict and disciplined. He never wanted me to remain loose in life. Once I went somewhere with friend, on the way we saw a sweet shop. My friend stole a piece of jalebi (sweet) from the sweet shop. I did not tell him anything then. When we reached home after the urgent work, I met his father and told everything about him. I was not sure that he would beat him black and blue. Ever since this incident happened, he would to talk me less than earlier. I could not talk to him face to face. His mother told me 'oh son, you should not have spoken to him straightaway because his father already was very upset and his bad doing made him more upset. I was small. Had I been aware of that, I would not have told him about his bad doing.
I had a very few friends in neighbourhood. Nobody liked to talk to me much after that incident happened. I was cursing myself within, but I enjoyed a little with them. Right from the childhood I did not like anybody's company much because I wanted to do something different from others. I was not sure about my aim but everybody would ask me about my aim, I would be unable to tell them. everybody thought me to be a big fool, but I did not mind that. Life was very hard to me since childhood. I tried to keep myself busy in my work and promised myself not to talk to anybody more. Life took a turning point at each and every step. I could never understand the meaning of this beautiful life. The sorrow was swelling in my heart, I wanted to bring it out from my heart. I could never express my deep feelings to anybody, that was why it was killing me within. I was very emotional and sensitive. When I would do any bad with anybody I would realize from the heart and asked myself, What the hell I did with him. Life was becoming harder and harder day by day because no body was around me to help and have a deep sympathy on me. In spite of staying with my family, I always felt alone. My father could never understand my feelings. he would demoralize me in my work, it would really irritate me a lot. I would ask my friends who were much older than me. They said, don't worry, after all he is your dad whatever he speaks against you is not spoken from the heart. I started to understand a little slowly. I wanted to take a wrong action but I changed my mind for the sake of my parents. I better thought to concentrate on my studies and to take care of my family because I was the eldest son in my family.
Our relationship with our landlady was worse because she would complain us that we did not keep the washroom neat and clean. One day the rude landlady scolded my mother badly over blockage of drain in toilet. My innocent mother told her everything, she did not do it but she kept throwing dirty and filthy words on my mother. My mother could not tolerate it any longer and started to shed her tears because of such an insult happened to her. My mother tried to prove herself to be right but she could not. She kept mum after that. My mother told the father about this incident, hearing this he got very angry. He wanted to revenge from the landlady of this insult but my mother stopped him from doing this. She spoke to the father that we should shift from here. The next day I was accompanied by my mother to search a new room for living. We got a good room on the first floor very soon. My mother had found so many rooms but she liked that room most of all. We shifted to new the room. We had shifted our room twice so far. We did not have our own home in munirka. If we had our own home in munirka, we would not have faced so many problems. We shifted to new the room. We had shifted our room twice so far. We did not have our own home in munirka. If we had our own home in munirka, we would not have faced so many problems. This room was quite cosy and comfortable. We had good facilities of window and big veranda. There was a big problem that the landlady's mother-in-law was bad, she would give us instructions to follow, If we did not follow. She would scold us. I was in 8th standard then.
I got admission in a government school. My father was very happy because he could now afford the fees. I was a little bit good in studies upto 7th class but I took admission in a school named No.4 Government Sr. Secondary school. I really did not know my life was going take to a big turn in my life further in this school. I was a good boy but I got spoilt because of staying in a bad company of my friends. I hardly went to school regularly but one day my friends suggested me to bunk the school, hearing this I got a little upset but my friend insisted me again your father would not ever get to know about your bunking the school. I agreed with them to bunk the school. The day I had my first bunk I was very upset all the day long that If my father would know about this, he would beat me black and blue but somewhere I was quite sure that how would he know about this. If he does not go to my school, he would be unaware of my this bunk. When I reached my home I was very upset. I did not speak to anybody but my father asked me, how was your day in school? I spoke 'the day was good for me. I got sure that my father was not unaware of this. The next day When I reached my school I met my friends and told them that my father did not get to know about my bunking class, they got very happy to hear. I really enjoyed my first bunk. I saw so many places. All the places were worth-seeing and charming. we had namkeen and biscuits and chat with one another a lot till we got tired of talking. I and my friends again made a nice plan to enjoy a nice trip this time by bunking the school. I was sure, I could fool my father by saying I went to school. I would think like a mastermind.
I did not know what sort of steps I was taking in my life. I was going into a big problem but I ignored it fully. When I again bunked my class I was sure that nobody would dare to ask me anything. Ever since I got my bus-pass made, I got freedom in buses to travel as far as possible in Delhi. I was in the air. The days started from here of my bunking. When I would ask my friends to bunk the school, they would not agree at this, instead they said to me you go by yourself. I decided to travel alone. I could go wherever I wanted. My father never took me to show India Gate, Red Fort, Zoo and National Museum etc. I visited all these places. I fully got used to bunking that I was not sure I would have to attend my school again or not. When I kept on bunking my school for a long while I was sure that my name would have been struck off the school. One day I gained my confidence and decided to go to school. When I reached my school the next day my class teacher asked me, where have you been so far? I told my class teacher I went to attend my big brother's marriage and he believed me. He gave me permission to sit in the class-room. I had lost all my interest in my studies by then. Whatever the teachers would teach, it would slip my mind very soon. I became very weak. I could no longer stick to my class and again I started bunking my school. I started enjoying my bunking the school. When the date of my bus-pass had finished, I got stuck in a problem that how would I carry on bunking. I decided to go to school again but this time I had to make a bigger excuse than earlier so that I could make my class teacher believe, I was not lying him. I fabricated a fake story was that I would have to tell my class teacher that my uncle died because of long illness.
I reached my school and attend the prayer then I entered the class, when the class teacher started calling the roll number one by one. When he called my roll number, he asked me the reason of my long absence from the school. I told my class teacher that some days ago my uncle died because of long illness so I went to attend the funeral ceremony of 13 days. I was sure this time that my fake story could not change my class teacher's mind. I started to make crocodile tears in front of him, seeing my tears his heart got moved and he gave me permission to stay in the class. I sat in my class-room but I was not quiet within. I thought once, If I get my form stamped and signed for my bus-pass. I would make again a plan to bunk my class. During the recess I went to library to my librarian because he was authorized to stamp and sign the forms for the bus-pass. His name was thakur he was well behaved. He asked me 'How are you? Pushkar I told him, I am fine sir. When he asked me, long time no see then I told him my uncle had died and I had to attend the funeral ceremony of 13 days that was why, I am back to school after 13 days. He told me, you take your form signed and stamped in the seventh period. I had no patience. I was in a great hurry to fly away from the school as soon as possible. I had lost my patience to wait longer but what could I do except taking the form signed and stamped in the seventh period.
I took my form in the seventh period and felt myself in the seventh heaven. When the school got closed, I went to bus depot to renew my buss-pass. I stood in a queue, the queue was very long. I was just waiting for my turn. When my turn came I handed my form to the man through the window who was making the bus-pass. He made my bus-pass. The bus-pass was valid for 3 months. I paid him 70 Rupees. I was very happy to get my bus-pass. I had a lot of opportunities to travel to those places which I could not visit. The next day I made my way for connaught place. I liked this place very much. This place very nice and charming. There was big market here. The people from all over the world walked over here. I met a lot of foreigners in this place. I remember my first meeting with an American boy who was staying in YMCA. The American boy had a charming personality. He was very polite. He took interest in me. I started my conversation with him saying, where are you from? he spoke, I am from USA. I got very happy to hear about USA. I was very curious to know about USA as much as possible. When I told him about my liking to USA, He got happy and appreciated me. I also told him about the book which I made myself by collecting all the details of USA from many newspapers. He was really impressed by me. He gave me his address of USA then he left for YMCA. I was just standing in front of YMCA but I had no permission to go in. He said to me, good-bye. The address was written in black ink, his hand-writing was very beautiful and legible. That day I felt very confident in English because it was my first time with somebody when I had my conversation in English. I was not very good in English but sometimes I would try to speak by myself when I found nobody around me. I enjoyed walking alone in this place named connaught place by bunking my school. I knew that I missed my school many times but I was no longer interested in my formal education. I had wasted my time a lot.
It had been a long time since I went to my school. I got very disappointed and could not do anything except repenting over my big mistake. I did not go to my school after that. I had the report card of my 2nd term of eight class. I had stopped going to my school after I gave my exams of 2nd term. I had no alternative left except travelling in different places. Travelling and gaining knowledge were my hobbies right from the childhood. I was free from every kind of bondage which was related to my studies. I got a chance to travel as much as possible. Now I could satisfy myself by travelling a lot. Everyday I would plan to go to different spots so that I could be much more familiar with all the roads of delhi.
Every morning I had to wake up early in the morning for the school. My dear mother would cook food for me and packed the lunch. I never told my parents about my bunking the school. I kept throwing the dust into their eyes. I wanted to tell them about the reality but I had no courage and confidence to face this big problem. I did not want to make them disappointed. My mother would generally asked the father, why don't you go to his school for his progress? but he kept on canceling the plans made by my mother. His work always kept him busy that he could not get a single moment for knowing my progress.
I was afraid somewhere that the day he would get to know about the reality, what would happen to him? He would have lost all his dreams. I was sure that he would beat black and blue but I was not more afraid of my father's beatings than his losing his faith in me. His beating me badly so many times, it made me so strong that I would not feel pain any more I had become quite rock.
I had wasted even 2nd year of eight-class very much. I did not care about my future. I spent most of my time in walking in connaught place. This place had become my destination for every day. I had a lot meetings with different types of people here. I misused my bus-pass very much.620,680 and 604 were the direct buses to connaught place from my home. I would catch any of these buses and would go enjoying all the places through which way the bus would go. I had lost all my contacts of my close friends. I was alone. Once I went very far by bus. Some passengers in the bus caught sight of me and asked 'where is your school? I told them, my school is very far. Everyday I had to change two buses from my home. I enjoyed my travelling a lot but I had lost and spoilt everything by then. There were no my future plans. I was in dark. children at such an young age, they read attentively and learn a lot of things from the teachers but I was spoiling my career.
I did not know which way I had to go. Nobody was there to support me. When my final exams came near. I got very afraid and thought, What can I do? I was completely stuck in a big problem. A very good idea hit my mind very soon. I had all the question papers of the last year of the eight class. I kept those papers in my cupboard very carefully. This became a big source of my help. The day when I gave my exam I showed my father the question paper of that subject. I had already fully prepared those questions because I knew, If my father would ask any question then I could reply him easily. My father would be very happy when I would answer all of his questions, but he did not know I had already prepared those questions. I highly impressed my father by answering in a very good manner. This procedure kept on till my final exams were over. He was very happy with me and gave a pat on my back for my doing all good papers. The day came when my result was to be declared. I was very sad. There lived a very nice neighbour in my neighbourhood. I enquired him about some of hill stations. He told me each and every thing. I had noted everything down whatever he told me. I had a very small diary, I filled it with a lot of details.
I went somewhere on the day of my final-result. I had planned to go very far from my home where no body could recognize me. I was upset and wept bitterly because I was going to leave my parents forever. I did not want to meet my parents again in my life. When I reached back my home, I told my mom, I have passed and going to get sweets. When a hawker came to the gate of the building, my mother went to him to buy, just then I grabbed the golden opportunity to go away. I took 600 rupees from the tiffin-box which my mother had saved for buying vegetables and fruits. I felt very sorry, I did not inform my mother about money. When she was busy in bargaining with the hawker. I left my home forever. I turned back to see my mother's face last time. I was all in tears. I did not want to leave but I was not able to face the problem. I took 621 from the bus-stand of munirka, after a little later it the bus started moving. I was not sure that where I was heading for. When I reached the last stop. I made up my mind to go towards my village. I did not want to go towards my village but somewhere else because there was something special in my life to happen further. I took another bus to the other bus-stop.
When I reached the bus-stop I saw the bus from far. This was the bus which had to go to my destination. I got in the bus. I enquired to the conductor about fare. He told me 350 fare. I gave him 350 and occupied my seat, I had no luggage. I was wearing shirt, pant and slippers. The bus started moving and I said good bye to my all friends and parents in mind. The bus stopped at one hotel at night, the driver said to every passenger to take meal because he won't stop the bus again at any hotel. I was feeling thirsty and hungry. I got down the bus. I had some money left. I had some chapatis with daal. After I had my dinner, I took my seat and fell asleep. When eyes opened in the morning I found myself among the mountains. I got happy to see the natural sight. I caught site of pine trees, zigzag ways, cultural of my village and people in were dhotis. There resounded a melodious song in my ears from the behind of mountains. The ladies with big necklaces and very large nose-rings. I felt as though I was asleep for a long in the other world and just came to this world. I liked the cultural of my village very much because it join all the people toghter. Everybody was together because of this cultural, otherwise everybody would have been separate from each other. I was deeply impressed by my this kind of cultural. Now, I had to search a place to work and to eat. I had no any problems when I was with my parents. My mother cooked food and washed my clothes, but now I was all alone. I had to wash my clothes and cook food for myself. When I was at home, I never did all this work, but I will have to do all by myself now. When the last stop came, I got down the bus and started searching a hotel. I was very lucky, I got a hotel very soon. The hotel was nearby from the bus-stand.
I entered the hotel, it was not big but good. It was made of tin on the bank of the road. I asked the owner of the hotel about menu. He handed me the menu. The menu contained omlette with bread, bread-butter, rice, rajma, tea, coffee tomato-soup, fried brinjal and pea, After I went through the menu. I asked him to give me two pieces of bread with omlette and a cup of tea. When I had two pieces of bread with omlette. It was very difficult for me 'where to go now? I took a bus and went far from there. The bus in which I was sitting passed by my village. I saw my real uncle in his electronic-shop, but I was in the bus and I did not dare to get down the bus. The bus stopped there for 10 minutes then started moving. When the last bus-stop came of the bus, I got down and searched a hotel to stay at night. There was a small hotel nearby. I asked him, could I stay here for one night? He said, Yes, I spent that night with him at that hotel. He gave me rice with daal to eat. After I had I went to bed. I got up in the middle of the night because there were many mosquitoes in that hotel they had bitten and disturbed me badly. I tried to sleep, gradually I was getting my sleep. I did not know when I fell in a deep sleep. The owner of the hotel had already given a warm blanket to use. It was biting cold outside. The next morning I woke up early. I opened the door I heard a hissing sound, I asked somebody, 'What about this hissing sound? he told me, the Ganga river flows nearby. I wanted to see the river because I did not ever see a river flowing. I went to the bushes to pee and washed my face with the water of Ganga river. The water was very clean that I could see my face in it. I sat near the bank of the river and kept pondering over something, just then I heard some sound of buses, I had to head for but I was not sure about my destination. I took a bus.
I got down a place which was near to my village. There were many small hotels in this place. I was expecting some work to do so that I could survive as well as little earnings. I was in search of work just then my maternal uncle recognized me and asked, what are you doing here? your father is very worried about you. He gave us information on phone about your missing. He held my hand tightly and made me sit in a jeep asked the driver dropp him at the village. My maternal uncle had some urgent work that was why he was not with him that time. I told my maternal uncle, ok I won't go anywhere, saying this my maternal uncle left. I was sitting in the jeep, I saw the driver repairing the jeep just then I gave him a slip. I ran upward the hill. I reached a place Where a man was breaking big stones with the hammer. I asked him for help, he asked, what sort of help can I provide you in this regard? , I told him a fake story and he easily trusted me but he told me he can not give me any task to do. He was sorry for that. The next moment he spoke to me, why don't you try hotel for work? I am sure, you will get some work to do. I left for hotel. I saw a hotel and reached near to it. There was an old man he was owner of the hotel, I asked him, Sir, I have come to you for work, could you give me some work to do? He agreed and explained the work, what I had to do in the hotel. First of all, he gave me much to eat when I was full. He told me to wash all the dirty plates, glasses, spoons and bowls. When I would not do my work properly, he would give me a good scolding. Sometimes it was very difficult to me to tolerate him any more that I would reply him without fear.
He would be rude to me sometimes over the small mistakes. I got a lot of friends over this place very soon. They were all uneducated. They would speak of rubbish every time. I would hate talking to them but I could not stop myself. If I did not talk to them, they would make a fun of me. It would pain my heart deeply. It had been six days since I worked in the hotel. One morning when I was cleaning dirty plates, I caught sight of my uncles they were coming towards me, they recognized me. I asked them I don't want to go back but my uncles turned a deaf ear to my words, they told me if you don't go with us, we would take you by pulling. I agreed with them at this time.
I was in a very bad condition. My shirt and pant were very dirty. I had grown very weak and lean. My both uncle took me back. One of my uncles he saw my condition and decided to buy a new pair of shirt and pant. My uncle took me to a shop of clothes. He bought me a nice pair of shirt and pant. They well fitted me. We were in the market of the village. My father's sister lived above the electronic-shop of my uncle. I met one of my relatives before I went to father's sister house. He scolded me and said, you should be ashamed of yourself of this bad doing. He asked me about my age? I told him, I am fifteen. He said, you are spoiling your life at such young age. I got very disappointed to hear his penetrating words. My uncle spoke to me, don't lose your heart for that. Your uncle speaks to everybody rubbish like this, so you don't to get bothered about that. I went to meet my father's sister. I was thinking how would she react on seeing me. She gave me a warm welcome on reaching her home. She asked me, how are you? I told her, I am fine after that she asked me no more questions. I was very hungry. I had a bath. I took off my dirty clothes and wore my new clothes. She had prepared rice and daal and served me. She told me to sleep, but how could I sleep because I was going already going through a big problem. Someone informed me that my grandfather had arrived there to take me back. When I met him, I touched his feet and started crying bitterly he told me not to cry.
On returning back my village. I met everybody. I was happy to meet my grandmother. She had not taken a bit of bread ever since she heard that pushkar has run away from the home. She hugged me and told me to take rest for some time. Nobody said to me anything regarding my running away from the home. I told my grandparents, I don't want to go back to delhi. I want to carry on my studies at village. They agreed with me. My uncle informed my father that pushkar has come back to village and he would stay with us. My father had decided to come to village to take me back to delhi because he thought, pushkar would get spoilt, if he stays at village. he will be doing everything at his will, Nobody would be there to make him understand, what is wrong and what is right. One day I was playing cricket on the small field with my elder and younger cousins, suddenly I saw my sister coming towards me, I got very sad. I started to run down to hide from my parents. I was sure, my father would beat me badly. This time my father did not beat me while he loved and hugged me. I met my mother, younger brother and sister. My mother had not eaten anything because of me for a long while. I was very sorry to see my mother condition at this. I thought that I should not have done like this. I really hurt my mother's heart.
I said sorry to my mother and she forgave me for my bad doing. I told my father, I don't want to go to delhi. I will stay with my grandparents here at village. you send some money for my fees, clothes and food but he kept on insisting me to go, at last I agreed with him and went back to Delhi. My father had lost all the faith in me. I had spoiled everything. I was going to start my new life again. I had to make my bright future. I could not go to my previous school because of long absence from the school. I did not pass 8th and 9th class. I took admission in 10th class directly. My father got to know about an open school through his tailor friend. The tailor's son he had already failed 10th class that was why he was doing his 10th through this open school. The owner of the open school was Nautiyal, he was an advocate by profession. There were a madam, a peon, a madam's brother in this open school. I started taking classes for 10th class. I had 6 subjects. The madam she would teach me well. She would ask me, whatever you do not understand just ask me but don't learn it from half-heart. I got some friends here. I did not like any of them. they were very talkative and I did not like to talk to talkatives too much.
I worked very hard in my studies, Had I not worked hard I would have lost my career forever. We hardly get a chance once to make a good life, if we lost this chance the 'how would we reach the goal? It was a question which hit my mind completely. I had to pass my 10th class at any cost. Those were the struggling days for me. I made myself so strong so that I could face my problem further. I met a friend during this time. He was very polite and good. The day he appeared in our class, some boys laughed at him. He was from rural area and look very strange in his dress. He got very angry with those boys but did not say anything. He was looking some years older than all of us in the class. I shook my hand with him and said, hi, how are you? what is your name? Where do you stay? he answered me of all my questions one by one. He was very happy to get me as a good friend. When the class was over. We chatted a lot with each other and left. He was highly impressed by me. He told me, he had failed two times in 10th standard at his village that was why he decided to come to delhi to pass his 10th class. He was staying in a government colony with his uncle. When I came to know about his uncle and aunt, I got very sad because they would taunt him and said to him that he was a big burden on them.
One day he was very upset because his aunt did not give him anything to eat and had a fight with him. We both went to a park after the class was over. I had some money in my pocket. I took out money and bought something to eat for him. There was a small tank of water nearby. We went there and he quenched his thirst. He was really thirsty and hungry. Now, another problem was to eat something. We saw a man selling peanuts and biscuits. We went to him and bought some biscuits and peanuts to eat. He had no courage to go back his aunt and uncle but I insisted him to go back, and said they won't say anything. The next day I asked him, what did your uncle and aunt say to you yesterday? He spoke, they said nothing. I felt ok to hear his words. I told him, if you need my help anytime, please don't hesitate to say. I would always be there with you. We both became very good friends very soon and would share sorrows and joys with each other. He taught me a lot. He was very good in studies. When I would not understand anything he made me understand clearly. He would call sometimes from the STD Booth while he would talk to his parents, he insisted me to talk to the parents. They were very good. They told me to carry on this good friendship.
I was very grateful to him for his timely help. When the exams drew near, we started to study seriously and would make the notes to learn. We got our center very far from the open school. We both would go together to the examination center to appear. I was sure that he would secure higher marks than me but it did not happen to him. He got very less marks than me. I came to know through somebody that he had cheating materials with him. He was very dependent on cheating materials. I was very happy because I had passed my 10th in first attempt. I really worked hard and my hard work did not go waste this time. I wanted to take amission in regular school so I tried many schools but there was only the one school where I got admission because of my father's approach in that school. I met my friend and told him I taken admission in a regular school, hearing this he got very happy and said to me, could you help me in this regard? I said, Why not? I promised him but it broke very soon when my father did not help him in getting admission. He got frustrated and hated me because of my father. I told him, it was not my fault but he did not understand at all.
He had no help from anywhere and he decided to carry on his studies at village. One morning when I went to his uncle home, I got to know that he had already gone to his village. This news really shocked me much. I was sad and thought, if the situation was in my hands I would have helped him. I forget all this and tried to pay more attention to my studies now. But I did not take even too much interest in my studies. I recalled those days When I would bunk my class every day. Tears came in my eyes again I wipe it, as the result I failed my 11th class. My class teacher advised me to dropp studies and do some work for the family instead of wasting time in the school. The report-card in my hand, I thought where to go, if I would go home straight, I was sure I would get a beating from my father. When I reached home, what I thought did not happened to me. My father did not beat me but I could see tears in his eyes clearly. It was hurting my heart. I wanted to say to my father, beat me as much as possible but don't cry.
I had no alternative to do anything except running away from the home but I thought, I would not have to take a wrong decision again. I had to understand the situation this time. My father wanted to teach me further. I told my father, I am not interested and I have to dropp my studies. He told me, if you don't study further, how would you get a good job? I had understood the meaning of his words. He put me in open school. I started to study seriously because I did not want to live a miserable life, if I failed my 12th class. I could not pass my 12th class in my first attempt but I did not lose my heart. I took coaching classes from a person who was running an institute belonged to open school.
He provided me many types of help. He was very jolly and would crack some jokes every now and then. But he never tried to play with anybody's feelings. He laughed and made others laugh by telling us interesting stories. He told me to be serious in studies. I passed my 12th class this time, he was very happy because he wanted to get a good name to his institute so that others would trust him well. Now, I had to do my graduation by correspondence college. I went to delhi university took the prospectus for graduation. I filled up the form and went to submit it to the college. Everything was ok. I had got admission in the first of B.A. I purchased the books but I had lost all my interest in my studies because of weak financial condition in family. My father would tell me everyday that the shop was not running well. I could not pay more attention to my studies and I failed my first year of my graduation. My father got very sad to learn. I wanted to work somewhere so that I could help my father. I told my father, I did not want to continue my studies further. I had no experience of anything, I was novice in my work. My father told me to do a diploma in computer software for six-month.
I started doing the diploma from NICT (National Institute of Computer Technology) . It was situated near to my home. I took the diploma very hard at starting, I would consult my friend who had done one year diploma in computer software. He would say, whenever you would have any doubts, come to me straightaway without any hesitation. I made up my mind not to lose my heart for my computer course. I realized that I had lost my heart many times and I got in return only disappointment. I had to be very industrious in my practice. I started to understand each and every concept of computer terminology little by little. I made my practice very easy by my hard work. I had learnt earlier how to type when I was in 10th standard. I had no big problem in typing. When I started to learn my computer course, I did not know how to operate the mouse properly.
My sir named uday taught me very well. I had my computer class 6 days in a week. The class would last for one and half hour. When I had learnt computer course. I was given the diploma by the institution. I got very happy to receive the certificate from the Institution. Soon after, I got a job in a private company as Data Base Operator. The day when I was going for the interview I was very sad because I had no experience how to face an interview.
I was with some boys who were also going for the same interview in that company. I asked one of them, but they told me they did not know too much about the interview. When I reached the company, I was a little bit nervous and I did not know what I had to do further. But I gained confidence at the next moment. When the test began, I took my position and listened to interviewer attentively so that I could not miss this job. He gave me a typing test to type according to his set time. I started typing down but very soon I got to know that I had missed some lines. I made a big mistake. I got very sad and stopped typing down. My interviewer came to me and asked, what is the matter? Why do not you type down the lines, I said nothing and went out to rest down. I was sure that I would not be given this job. I went back my home. My father asked me, What about the job? I did not say anything to him.
I could not sleep well that night. I was very restless. The next day I went to my Institute. My sir asked me about my interview, I told him everything but he did not scold me. I got to know through my friend that I was selected. I got very happy to hear. I told my father about my selection in the company. He got happy. But I had to work at night as per company's condition. Somebody told me to come down to bus stop to catch the company bus because Company was providing us bus service. I went to bus stand to catch the bus. There were many boys from my place to work in the company. I waited with them for the bus. We all waited for the bus for an hour but it did not come at the bus stand. We all got very angry and sad. After a little while everybody went his home. I was with a boy who became my friend very soon. We both did not go our home but somewhere. We went to a place Where there was a big and splendid building made of glass standing straight. We both looked at the building. My friend told me if he does not get a job, he would be back to his village very soon. That night we did not sleep at home but somebody's home. The next morning we woke up and went our home. My father did not ask anything because he had gone for his work. I again fell in a deep sleep. We waited for the bus at the same bus-stand, but the bus did not come at all. One day We were informed to reach the bus-stand to wait for the bus because the owner of the company made sure that he would send the bus at this time, no excuse.
We went to the bus stand on the said day and waited for the bus. We saw a bus coming towards us. We all got in the bus. There were already some boys sitting in the bus. When we all reached the office. The task was assigned to everybody by the team leaders. We were undergoing the training so there was no a big question to worry about the job. I had to learn the training as good as possible. I took all my attention to my training. One day while doing my work at night. I got fever. That day we were given instructions strictly to achieve the target. I could take some rest if I wished but I did not. I was happy that I achieved the target. I told my father about it. He got very happy to hear. Everything was going on smoothly and perfectly but one day the project of the company got over. We were made to believe that the next project would take some time to come. We played games on computer and chatted with each other. Some boys telling the stories of ghost outside the office. Some boys were sleeping. When the project did not come after we waited for some days. We could no have patience any longer and spoke to the sir of the company straightaway. We told him, either you give us work to do or give us salary for the days we worked.
He promised us to give salary for the days we worked. We all employees got happy to hear from Sir. But we really did not know that he was betraying us with oily words. He gave us the date to receive salary. Many days passed, we went to that company to receive our salary but we got to know that he had already closed his company. One of us had the phone number of the sir. We gave him a call and asked him to meet us outside the company. Sir came with his friend on bike. He had not brought anything with him. We all employees were sad to see him empty-handed. He made all of us believe that he could not arrange the money because of some reasons. He told us that he is going to orissa very soon to withdraw the money from there because he had an account in a bank over there. We did not believe his words but he told us please, rest assured I am not betraying you.
He kept on giving us many dates but we did not get our salary. One day we all decided to police station to file a suit against him. We gave him a strict warning, if you do not give us our salary, we will go to police station but he did not get frightened to hear instead he told us, do what you want. None of us dared to go to the police station to file a suit against him. We just knew how to threaten somebody but we really did not know how to take money from somebody. One day our boss called everybody to meet at the same place where his office was located earlier. Everybody came but he did not bring money to give us. My team leader he was coming from the hospital because he got jaundice and was admitted for some days. His situation was critical and bad. I had mercy on him and requested my boss to give him salary in place of me but he did not get moved by sentimental words. He had turned heartless fully. That was the last meeting with the boss.
I wanted to take revenge from him but I could not take. My father told me to forget about the past and try to look for a new job. I had lost faith too much in companies. One my sir he told me, everyone is not alike. I started to search a job and very soon I got a job in Macdonald. I underwent my training for two months. Here my job was very different from the other jobs which I ever did in my life. There were many stations in Macdonald. I worked in every station for passing my training. My training started from French fry station. It seemed to be very tough working at French fry station. My senior when he taught me. It got very easy to be done. The first day when I joined McDonald, The weekend had started by then. I was new in my station. I got a little nervous but my senior told me not to lose the heart very soon. I started working calmly at the station. I had to set the time for French fry. When the machine would make a sound it was meant that The French fry was ready. Sometimes I would pour much more French fry than enough. It would all get waste but my Senior did not scold me over this matter because I was just learning during my training. Had it not been my training, he would scolded me badly.
I become very good at french fry station but I had to work at the other station to pass my training. Now, it was veg station. It was much harder than French fry's station. I had to learn how to make veg burger, veg surprise burger, chinese burger, paneer salsa and putting the puff in hot oil. The job was hard but I did not lose my heart and kept on with my senior friends. I started to learn everything at the veg station slowly. Now, the job was over of this station because I had learnt enough. It was second station which I passed very soon. The training at the third station started very soon. It was chicken's station. There were four items at this station. As far as I remember the items were filet, mack-chicken, chicken-curry and chicken-salsa. I had already worked at the veg station so I did not face much difficulty at this station. I learnt making items very soon. One day while my PC (Production Controller) gave me order to make two filets and mac-chicken I could not do that as quickly as possible. I was very afraid that day because of my slow work. I had never so much slow at my others station as much I was at this chicken station. I was put at the veg station again because I was not able to handle that station properly so my manager changed me from the chicken station.
This incident really shocked me a lot but I had to gain my confidence because I had to take care of my parents. That was why I had to work very hard in McDonald. Sometimes I would be given mopping and brooming jobs to clean the floor which was dirty with small pieces of burger, tomato slices, puff's packets, tomato sauce and used gloves. When they would give these cleaning jobs, I would be very happy because It was my job and my father would tell me, Job is never small and big. I would do my work happily. There was no hesitation in work from the core of my heart. My all friends were happy with me because I would always help them in their work. There was a closing system in the McDonald. I was not aware of this closing system when I joined the McDonald. But I got to know about it through my some friends who also did close.
There would be required at least some boys for the close every day. When my manager asked me to do close, I refused to do because I did not know how to do this. After some days my manager asked me to do but this time I could not refuse because I was the member of the McDonald so how could I refuse to do. I did close that night. I had a good experience of the close at the first night. The close was very hard. I thought that if weak members do this, they must fall ill. The close would started after the McDonald was closed. There was a underground so we all had to take the dirty equipments from every station to the underground to be washed for the next day. After the equipments were properly washed, we had to take back. We put them back at stations. After all washing job, We would empty the dust bins in big black polythenes. We would tie the knot of the polythene from the top and threw it at the back of the McDonald. After that the work would follow mopping, brooming and scrubbing. When When finishing all the work. We would sit for a while outside the McDonald to wait for the bus for unloading the buns. We would get a huge relief after a heavy work. After a little while the bus would come. We stood in a line from outside to store of the buns. After unloading all the buns. We would go to the managers to get our time signed. The morning fell by then when all left the McDonald.
When finishing all the work. We would sit for a while outside the McDonald to wait for the bus for unloading the buns. We would get a huge relief after a heavy work. After a little while the bus would come. We stood in a line from outside to store of the buns. After unloading all the buns. We would go to the managers to get our time signed. The morning had fallen by then when all left the McDonald. I was very tired of work. I fell in a deep sleep. When I woke up, it was noon. I just felt as if I woke up in the morning. I really did not know why I got a little bit nervous when I would leave for McDonald from home. When I would reach and started to work, everything went ok with me because I engaged myself in work.
I could feel ok but sometimes I got a little bit nervous when I would leave for McDonald from here. I did not know why I got a little bit nervous. When there would be a big problem with me, I told my friends about the problem after that my problem was solved. I enjoyed my work in McDonald but not too much. During the weekends I would be a little upset because there would be a great rush at the counter, seeing that rush I would lose my confidence in my work. While working at the station I had to wear apron so that our dress could not be dirty and get infected. When the outing was organized by the McDonald. I was not very happy because I was always like that. The day came for outing. I was a little bit nervous. Everybody was very excited. When the bus came everybody got in the bus happily except me. I did not know what was bothering me a lot. My manager was sitting next to me asked me, why are you so quiet? What happened? is there something wrong with you? I spoke to him, sir, I am all right. When we reached the outing place, It was so wonderful. It was a outing park. The park had a swimming pool, games and many other activities. There were many parties going on in the park. Everybody was dancing and singing.
It was our turn to dance and sing. Everybody danced and sang songs except me. I just watched them dancing. After the party was over each of us was given some sandwiches with tomato sauce. We satisfied our thirst. The next activity was to enjoy in the swimming pool. Everybody was swimming but I was not. I wanted to take a dip in the swimming pool but I could not take. I engaged myself in talk with my friends who were not swimming. After a little later I got very eager to swim and I took off my clothes and started to swim. I had a nice bath in swimming pool. After that everybody was asked to put on the clothes and go back to lunch. The lunch was consisted of many things. I ever saw such a wonderful lunch in my life. There were chickens, Ice-creams, pastries, rice, noodles, cold-drink and many other sweet dishes. My mouth was watering because of seeing all these sweet dishes in the apartment. I tried to have all the things but I could not because the stomach has a limit in it.
I was trying to have each and every dish as much as possible. I did not know that I would suffer a big problem later on. Without taking care of myself I kept on having all the sweet dishes. That time I did not suffer a big problem but the next day. There was a quiz at the end of the outing. My team won the quiz. We played also tug of the war. This game needed a lot of strength to pull the rope towards his side. My palms got redder and some marks of rope left on my palms. I was out of breath after winning the game but I took a huge relief. I was trying to have each and every dish as much as possible but I did not. The next day I had developed a stomach ache. My stomach was upset but even then I went to McDonald to work. I was given many offs during this time. One day my father told me to go to Army Hospital for an interview. He got to know about the interview through somebody who had promised him that if there would be any vacancy he must speak to my father regarding that. One day I went for my interview and I was asked nothing except some easy questions.
I was sitting in front of a naval officer. He was in white dress from top to bottom. His voice was very loud. He was very short in height but very bold in his speaking. He took my resume and asked me to join from tomorrow. I was very happy to hear. My friend took to another officer who was a colonel in the Army. I was feeling proud of myself that I have to work in the Army Hospital. I was appointed in the chemotherapy as Data Base Manager. I enjoyed my work in the day care chemotherapy. My timing was from 8: 30 to 5: 00 in the Army Hospital. Every day I had to measure the height of the patient and weigh the weight. I had a software in which I had to work. Everyday I had to feed the drugs prescribed to the patients into software. There was a nurse assistant in the Chemotherapy, he would maintain the diary every day for the drugs of the patients who were about to get chemo. Whenever the software got some run-time errors I would call to the engineer to remove this run-timer error. The engineer was a lady she was very rude to me. I was very afraid of that lady. Whenever I would explain the problem she would not try to understand the problem. She could not remove this run-time error. After some days I started to sit idle in the chemotherapy because the software was not working properly. I would sit working on my computer in the morning because my sir would take a round every day of the chemotherapy. After he took the round I would go out to wander aimlessly. I was not decided what to do and what not to do?
I was sick of the job in the Army Hospital but I could not leave because my father told me, sooner or later you would be permanent in this hospital. I was not sure that I would be permanent or not but I was just making a formality for my father. Once I told my sir who hired me for this job. He told me as long as your contract continues. You don't need to worry about anything till then you enjoy yourself. I got very sad to hear from him. I wanted to secure my job in the Army Hospital but it was difficult for me to do. My father generally would tell me to butter the officers but I told my father, how can I butter my officers? I was very upset that one day I went to sir to get myself checked. I told him to prescribe the sleeping pills for me because I was having a tough time those days. My mind was very disturbed. When I could not tolerate all this what was happening to me. One day my sir (oncologist) he referred my case to Psychiatrist. When I reached him I told him about my every problem. He asked me many questions but I told him only one thing that was concerned to my career.
I was very disappointed in front of him. I could not disclose him some of personal matters. He prescribed some medicines to take. When I went to the medical store I did not find medicines over there. I went empty-handed. I went my sir who referred my case to psychiatrist. He told me I have got to know about each and every thing, you don't need to worry about that. I am here with you to solve your problems. Once my sir he sent me to Rajiv Gandhi Hospital for the interview because my sir Ranga Rao who had taken the retirement from The Army Hospital got a job as head of the department in oncology in the hospital. He required a personal assistant for himself. My sir told him about me. He told him to sent the boy to me. When I went over there for my interview, he took my interview and asked something regarding feeding the data in the software and writing letters. He told me he will talk to my sir regarding my job. I got back to The Army Hospital. I went to my sir and asked the reason. He told me, he required an assistant of PA level. You were not deserving for the post. I had lost my all confidence when my sir told me, my contract was going to be over next month. I thought many questions that where I would get a good job? how would I get a good job? who would help me in finding a good job? I was quite sad. When I had nothing to do in chemotherapy. One day my sir told me to some work in the medical store. I was very happy to hear. I started working in the medical store happily.
The first day I was given a lot of work to do. There was a nice smile on my face again because of being a lot of work in the medical store. The OIC (Officer in charge) of the medical store would give me a lot of work to do everyday. I got a chance to know about a lot of medicines here. I worked with pharmacists. Everyday I would get to know at least one medicine. But one day I got very sad when one of the pharmacists told me you are not here to learn about medicines but regarding the computer information. I did not say to him anything. I was quiet because I knew had I spoken to him rudely I would have been known as a bad boy in the medical store and I did not want me to be known as a bad boy. I just minded my business not to poke my nose in other's affairs. My OIC would say me to be a intelligent boy. He would think if the boy gets a good environment. He must be a big man some day. After some days when there was no work related to computer. He gave me some physical work to do. He took me to underground of The Army Hospital and there he told me there should be no hesitation in work. According to me I had done physical work a number of times but it was my first time when I was doing physical work in the Army Hospital.
Every other day he gave me some physical work to do but I could not deny. One day he asked to me to empty the store which was full of expired medicines. I would do the task with some of jcos, hawaldar and soldier. We would burn many expired medicines and the medicines which were still having life, We kept in medical store. When the contract got over. I told my sir of Medical Store. I was working very well. He liked my work too much. He fixed me in the Medical Store as Data Base Operator on the basis of salary. When I had worked 5 or 6 months in the Medical Store. My sir told me that I am dismissing you from the job for some days because there was a problem with my salary. The company he asked for my salary they were creating some problem in my salary. My sir told me, you don't need to worry for anything. I will be talking to some other company who can pay you salary. He promised me he would call me very soon.
My struggle's days have arrived. I was very disappointed. I was not able to understand what to do and what not to do. Nobody was around me to guide. I wanted to try everywhere but I could not do. Once I had an interview for wipro. I was called in. I entered the room and asked the sir, 'Good Morning' he gave me a nice response back. I was with the four candidates in the room. Everybody was asked one by one by the HR Executive. When my turn came, I spoke well but when he gave me a template of words I could not pronounce well that was the main part which I did not pass that was why I was not selected. I asked the sir about my feedback at the end of the interview. He told me my feedback that you have poor pronunciation and grammatical errors. Now, I got to know about my feedback. I was studying on my weak points so that I could better prepare for the interview than before.
I was very fond of call centers. I wanted to work in a call center, but I was not good in English. I tried my best, but I could not succeed. I was very depressed and downcast, because I had no job. My parents were very sad because of me. Everyday I would go to some or other company to give my interview. It was 14th August, I got “Dainik Jagran” from somewhere. I started searching the jobs in that newspaper. I caught a sight of an advertisement; it was regarding a call center job. I circled that advertisement with pen and noted it down in my diary. I went to market to give a call to that call center. When I rang up, from the other end, one lady speaks to me, hello, what is your name? where are you putting up? I spoke to her my name is sanju, residing at munirka and then she gave me her office address, because the phone number was mentioned in the newspaper not address. I got the address from her and I put on pant and shirt. When I reached over there with my resume. I found that it was a consultancy. I got very shocked. I wanted to leave the place but I couldn’t. There was a man who was the supervisor of that consultancy, he asked me to be seated. After a long time my turn came, I went inside and met the madam. She took my interview and asked me to pay 100 Rupees. I was just having money for my fares of bus. I sensed that there is something wrong in this office. I refused to pay 100 Rupees, because there was no guarantee, whether I will get a job or not. I was driving from pillar to post for a job. I told her, I will pay you tomorrow, but she told me, this is a registration fee. I tried to convince her but she could not understand me problem. I had to pay her 100 rupees for the registration fee before 2 O’clock that day. I had no alternative to do anything. I went to my father’s shop, asked my father to pay me 100 rupees. He asked me the reason, why do you need 100 rupees? I told him about the job. He gave me 100 rupees and asked to be more careful. I took a bus and reached there as soon as it was possible for me. I was breathing very hard. I was not sure about the job. I kept thinking all the way what would happen? If I give her 100 rupees. I met madam and gave her 100 rupees. She told me, tomorrow is your interview, I got surprised, how could it happen on 15th August. I asked again but she told me the office is open even on 15th August. I grew relaxed after hearing all this but I was not fully sure about that. I left the office and reached my friend’s phone booth. I told my friend about this incident. She got a little bit angry with me because I have done a big mistake. She told me, you should not have done like this, at least you would think twice before you did it. I told her, what can I do now? She told me, don’t be upset everything will be ok. I was very depressed and frustrated all the day long. The day was very bad for me. I was just sitting in my friend’s STD booth, all of a sudden, one girl entered the STD booth. She began to call her parents from the STD booth. When she finished her call then she came out of the cabin and paid money to my friend. I saw her ID-Card hanging from her belt. I asked her, do you work in a call center? she replied me “Yes” in which call center do you work? I work in Genpact (old name G-Capital) .
I told her about that incident what had happened to me. She asked me not to worry about that, be cool. I got cool after that. She asked me for my resume, I gave her my resume. It was updated resume, which I gave her. She was telling me I would give you aid. She gave me her mobile number and house address. She was very good looking. The next day I woke up with full restlessness. It was 15th August. Everybody in my family was at home. I was thinking about my 100 rupees. I made a call around about 11: 00 am, when some one spoke to me from the other end did not know my name, asked my name. I got very furious with her. She cuts her phone. I shouted very loud at that moment. I dialed the next phone number. This time the lady who promised me to give a job speaks, hello, who is speaking? I told her, hello, madam this is pushkar speaking from munirka. She recognized my voice, I was a little bit happier because I was having a little hope against hope this time. She gave me the address of the office where I had to go to have my interview. The same day I went to my friend’s STD booth to tell my friend about the interview of mine. The girl who took my resume came to STD booth. I had a conversation with her regarding my interview. She speaks to me “Best of luck”. I was very glad. The next day I went on that address which was given by that madam for my interview. The place was very near from my home. When I reached there, I made a sense that it can not be a call center where I want to work, but I thought that let’s try the luck. My turn came I got in the office and came out within 5 minutes. It was a job relating to typing and some other data work. I was asked, how good are you in excel? I told madam I can create sheets, data, tables and graphs etc. She asked me, I would give you a call later on. I never got a call from that company. This time was really very hard to me. I had lost my hope so far. One day I called a girl whom I met in my friend's STD Booth. When I called her she was sleeping so I did not want to disturb her at that time. She told me to come tomorrow because she was very tired of her office work and wanted to relax. I called her next day again. She had given me her address but I could not get her room where she stayed. I was very confused. I was sure about building but not her room. I called her once again to confirm the room. She told me, she was staying in ground-floor then I got to know about her room.
I was sure this time that I was standing in front of her room. I knocked at the door. She was sleeping I had disturbed her sleep but she told me, it's ok. I told her about the problem which I faced in finding the room. She was working with the no 1 BPO. When she told me she was an MA in English. I felt very happy to hear. She had an excellent communication skills. Her pronunciation was very clear. The first day When I met her outside her room she told me to speak in English so that she could correct me when and where I spoke wrongly. She was very nice. I got attracted a little to her. But I did not know that this attraction to her would remain long. I wanted to propose her but I was scared that what she would think about me. She must stop talking to me. She must take me wrong. I did not want break this nice friendship because after a long time I made a friend and I did not want to lose her. If I lost her what would have remained in my life. My life would have been empty so far.
I never told her about my love. I carried on with the friendship. I was learning stenography from an institute in those days. I had developed a big problem again. I fell in love with a girl in my institute. I wanted to propose her but I could not propose. She was very pretty. She joined the institute after me. She had a good grasping power. She covered some lessons of stenography very soon. I was very impressed by her. One day I got a problem in making a stroke (stenography's stroke) I took her help. She helped me in a good manner. When I kept on taking her help, the other learners took it in a wrong way even the sir gave the fire in this matter for both of us. She kept mum and I wanted to talk to her but I stopped myself from talking. I saw her a little bit upset.
When she went after the class was over she stood near the shop to wait for someone. I met her over there and asked, did you get upset to hear from them. She told me I am not upset at all. I asked her to forgive them on behalf of me. She spoke to me there is nothing wrong, so why to say sorry? I said to her, have you forgiven me? she told me I have really forgiven you. Why don't you believe me? Now, I had to believe her and said her bye. She was a very good girl. I could not carry on with stenography practice further. I had to dropp my stenography practice because I got a job in a call center. I told my sir about my job. He told me to adjust your timing because my timing was from 9: 00 to 6: 00 so it was very hard to attend the steno class further. I told my sir that I can't attend so I had to leave it stenography. He said, as you wish. I started to work in Infovision (call center) . I was very happy to get a job in call center. My dream came true now but I did not know I would have a bad experience here. I underwent 4 days'training but I could not learn anything because the training was not proper to be given by team leaders. I was given some scriptures to read, I read all of them fully but the main problem with me was to explain the customer what exactly was the product.
I could never convince the customer as long as I worked in Infovision. Once I made a call to the customer and spoke to him but he did not understand my words. He was saying to me, are you telling me the rates of vegetables on the phone, hearing this I got very upset and I put the phone down. My call was being recorded by the quality checker. She was a lady. She called me and spoke to me, Pushkar while you were talking to the customer you were a little bit upset.
She made me understand saying you don't need to be worry. First be cool then do your work properly. I asked my quality checker that I want to talk to my friend. She asked me, why do you want to talk to your friend? I told her, she is working in Genpact known no.1 BPO. I dial her number after ringing the phone from the other end she picked up the phone. She said, hello who is speaking? I said to her, this is pushkar speaking from the office. She recognized my voice and said, what is the matter? I told her, I have got a problem and I do not know how to tackle it? She told me the same thing whatever my quality checker told me before. She told me not to lose the confidence and do the training attentively.
I was very fearful that I had no courage to make another call after that. My team leader told me to focus on somebody's calling. I tried to focus on somebody's calling till I understood fully. I tried very hard but could not succeed in my attempt. My team leader called all of those who were not doing well in training. Everybody took the training seriously except me. My team leader asked me, are you understanding? I said no sir for this he asked me to get out. I wanted to leave the job but it had not been a long time since I joined the office. My team leader thought me to be an useless trainee. I was just focusing others' callings because I had no other alternative to convince my sir saying, I have understood well now I can perform well. I kept on sitting idle in my office for hours. When the team leader of the other project noticed me and asked me, why don't you make calls? I told him sir my team leader has thrown me out of his project. He said to me to join my project. It is much easier than your project. He made me believe saying you need to work hard in my project. If you take my project lightly then I can even throw you out of my project. Now, I really had to work very hard because I did not want to make my parents feel bad by losing my job.
I noted everything down in my notepad and started learning as much as possible. It was Sunday next day so I got a whole day for my practice. I was sure this time I would succeed. I had learnt all the scriptures given by team leader for the new project. Everything was very easy in that project but I could not change my trembling voice. The next day I went to my new team leader and said, sir I have practiced very hard now give me a chance to prove myself. He told me, I will give you two chances If you don't succeed in two chances then you decide yourself what you have to do? When he asked me to try some phone numbers to make a good conversation. I did that but When I tried my first attempt I did not succeed then my team leader told me, see you have only one chance left if you miss the second chance. You can lose the job.
When I tried my second attempt, I could not succeed again he told me now you can go back your home. I got very disappointed then. I did not say anything to my team leader and took my seat to concentrate again. Now, my manager called me and asked me, how is your progress? I said it's not well. He asked me, when did you join the office I said to him four days back. Four days have passed since you joined the office but learnt nothing at all. Why is it so? I told him about everything clearly that the training is very hard that's why I could not pick it up quickly. He told me not make excuses but I was speaking the truth.
He did not believe me and asked me to write a resignation letter that I am leaving the job at my own will. I wrote a letter and handed it to my manager. Now, it was very hard for me to stay any longer in the office. I was feeling suffocated. I left the job as I got a chance to go outside my office. I worked hard for the job. I went through a lot of interviews but the selection was not made anywhere. I was in the toughest situation in my life. I wanted to poison myself but I stopped and thought about my parents for a while then I changed my mind to poison myself, otherwise I would have been dead so far. The life was getting harder and more crucial than ever.
I became very close to my friend who was working in a call center. I would take advice from her every now and then. She would always encourage me when I met her but I never told her I was in love with her. One day I planned to go back to The Army Hospital to confirm about the job. It was Sunday. I was free. I took a bus and got down at the bus-stand of Army Hospital. First of all I went to my sir's house who was Nayak subidar in the Army. He welcomed me and I had a grand breakfast with him consisted of ketch-up, sambar, idli and dosa. He told me that colonel was asking about you but I had no any your contact number so I could not contact you. He asked me to see Colonel sir as soon as possible. I went to Medical Store Where I used to work earlier. I met my colonel sir and confirm about the job. He told me he has managed everything. Everything was quite ok now. He had solved the problem of my salary from the company. I had made some plans this time that if I worked this time, my salary should have been 3500 hundred otherwise I had to look for some other job.
I told my colonel sir about the increment of five hundred in my salary. I had already planned, if he said no, I would better leave the job of Medical Store but he agreed to increase five hundred in my salary. I got very happy. My colonel sir introduced me to new jco who was not like my old jco who got posting in some other place. I was expert in doing all the works of medical store. New Jco gave me thirty copies of challan to make. I made all the thirty challans immediately. I asked my new jco to give me some other work. He gave me a task of counting which I had done earlier. It was a little riskier I knew but it was my task which I had to do someway or the other. The task was to be done in a big file in which the number of the medicines was mentioned, which I had to count correctly. My colonel sir told me while you count the number of medicines, you should make no mistakes because the file has to be sent to defence ministry after you count the number of medicines.
The file took 4 to 5 days to be finished. I handed it to my colonel sir after I finished the task. My new jco gave some work to do. I was busy in doing that work suddenly my colonel sir called me in his room to tell about my mistake. I got very sad to hear about my mistake but I said to him, I can't make a little mistake. He made me realize, see you are like my son if you have made a mistake please don't refuse to accept. I am not going to beat you but give you a new lesson so that you won't make a mistake in future. I repented over my mistake and asked him for the pardon. That day became very important because I learnt one more new lesson in my life. My colonel sir never scolded me but treated me as his son. when he scolded me he would say, don't be upset sometimes I am out of temper. I was never angry with him after that.
Once he gave me a wonderful task to do. He handed me a pen drive which contained a list of medicines of every department. He told me to go through every department with the pen drive. I made for my oncology department first of all because this was the department where I had worked earlier with my Ranjan Sir (Oncologist) . I could see my sir doctor in case of absence of HOD of Oncology but I could not see him because HOD was already available in the department. I met the HOD (Head of the department) . I handed him my pen drive. He inserted the pen drive into his computer and took all the details of medicines of Oncology department. I had made a list of all the departments of the hospital to be signed when they received. I went through a number of departments that day which I could not see earlier I saw now. Nobody could stop me from going to any department because I had permission of my colonel sir. The medical store was the center of the hospital so I was familiar with every doctor.
After the whole day's work I returned the medical store. I handed my file to colonel sir. He asked me, have you finished the work I said to him 'no' There are some departments left to be signed. He asked me, 'why some departments, why not all the departments. I told him the reason because most of the doctors were not available in their departments because of being an OT day. He told me with a joke today's salary you won't get because all the day long you haven't finished the work fully and he laughed loudly. I would depart for my home. I would meet my friend and told her everything about my work. I am feeling great today because I just only concentrated on my work. she got glad to hear because it was the first time for her when she was seeing me very much happy. I had a short chat with her and left for my work to rest after the whole day's tiredness.
During this time I had to try for some other company because I was not sure about my job when it was going to be over. Had not I tried now I would have been in a big problem again. I applied for a job in a software company. One of my friends she told me about this company because she was already working with this company. She gave me the address and asked me to give the interview for the post of transcription. I did that. When I reached that company. I met HR Executive. She asked me, There is no interview right now when the interview will be on, we would give you a call for the interview.
I left after I took the phone number of that company. I was not expecting any call from the company because most of my friends have told me not to wait for the call but give a call from your side to the company. Thereafter I decided to call to the company. I made many calls to the company when I was working in The Army Hospital. I did not tell my colonel about that. Had I told him about my job he would not given me permission to call. I was very fed up because of making many calls to the company but there was no interview. HR Executive of the company gave me many dates to call but when I called, the response would be that I had to confirm about interview till any vacancy was vacant. One day I was not sure about the interview and I made a call to the company but my luck was with me because I had really worked hard for confirming about the interview. I told madam, What about the interview? she told me to come to give your interview as soon as possible. I was very happy to hear this good news.
I fixed one day for my interview from The Army Hospital. I did not tell my colonel about my interview otherwise he would not have allowed me for that. I went for my interview. I had applied for the post of transcription. The HR Executive told me, We don't have any vacancy in transcription department but in our department as a junior executive. She asked me to think twice over this chance. I did not know what I should have said to her but I agreed with her for the proposal. She asked me to bring all the documents of mine on the joining day. When she told me about my original mark sheet of High School. I got shocked to hear. I told her, why should I submit my original mark sheet? hearing this she spoke to me, don't worry we don't do anything with your original mark sheet but it is just for formality. I did not believe but I told her that I would submit all the documents on the joining day. I was in a big confusion because I had to submit my any original mark sheet. If I told my father about that he would not allowed me to join the company. I asked my friends regarding this, they told me to submit because they had already submitted their original mark sheet to the companies.
I had told the HR Executive to give me 10 days before joining because I had to clear my pending payment in The Army Hospital. I had only 10 days for joining. This first thing was to get my blood checked because I had to confirm what group of blood I was having. I told my sir about getting the job who was a hawalder. He was very happy to hear and told me to leave the Army Hospital as soon as possible because I had learnt enough from the hospital but nothing more was left to be learnt now. I was waiting for my salary in The Army Hospital (R & R) . I had made a plan to leave the hospital after getting the salary. The day I got the salary I left the Army Hospital forever. Now, I had to walk for higher place in my life because my future was not bright in the Army Hospital.
I left the Army Hospital without informing my colonel sir so I felt sorry for that. One Sunday I went back to the Army Hospital to inform my colonel sir that I had left the job and got a good job in a software company. He was not glad to hear because he wanted me not to leave the hospital. The first day in a big company which I had never dreamt in my life but I was in that company. It was a MNC. I was a little bit nervous. I submitted all the documents according to the company rules and regulations. My HR Executive took me to the conference room for my training. There were already two persons sitting in the conference room. They had to train me for the software. The software was very easy to be understood because I had already worked in many softwares. I had a small diary in my pocket which I took out for the purpose of noting some important points down. One was male the other was female. Both were very nice to me. Wherever I had difficulty of not understanding any concept I would tell them. They sorted it out in no time. I was given a personal lap-top. I had to work on that. I would sit in the conference room for some days of my starting. I was all alone in the conference room and it was very cold. The winter was at the door in those days. When it became unbearable for me to bear the airs of AC. I would go outside to call the boy to switch off the AC.
I would really enjoy my job in the company. My HR Executive and HR Manager both were very friendly with me. They would crack a lot of jokes every now and then. I liked the nature of my HR Manager because he was indeed a good person. He never scolded me for any thing. When I did any bad thing, he made me realize over that. Once my HR Manager asked me to give all the educational details of some mentioned employees in the list. I had not fed the educational details into the software because I was not told about that. I told my HR Executive about that. She asked me, you should have asked about this thing when you were feeding. I had to finish the task till the same evening. I was very upset but I had to do it by myself. Everybody had left the office. I took 13 files out from the drawer and I kept on opening the file one by one and took all the educational details for the mentioned employees. I watched at the wall clock it was 7 O'clock. I was very late for my home but I did not mind about that because I wanted to work hard.
The next day when I reached my office my HR Manager asked me, at what time did you leave the office? I said to him, it was 7 O'clock when I left the office. He felt proud of me that I was working sincerely in the office. He was never unhappy with me. I had learnt a lot of things after some days. I was being given a big responsibility according to my experience in that company. I was not sure that how I would handle a big responsibility but I did not lose my heart at any cost. I was told about my responsibilities the first was to feed all the details of the resumes into the software. The second responsibility was to conduct the interview of candidates. The third responsibility was to check all the answers sheets done by candidates for the interview. I had to feed all the obtained marks of the candidates into the software according to that they would be called for the final round. Some would be short-listed, some would be on-hold, some would be selected, some would be rejected. This was the process which I had to follow in the company. It was very hard to follow at the starting because I was unaware of all these things but my HR Executive was a nice lady she told me not to worry about anything. I was undergoing the training so I had to learn as much as possible till the period of six-month training.
My Senior HR Executive returned after three months' maternity leave. She was looking very nice from outside but I did not know about her how good she was from inside. I was sitting in the conference room. I saw her through the conference room. She was a bengali. My junior HR Executive was on leave because her father's condition was not well and was admitted in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) . My Senior HR Executive came to me in the conference hall and asked about me. I told her about myself. Everything was ok till then. She started giving me a lot of pressure day by day. I could not tolerate this much. One day I took leave without informing my HR Executives. I was upset that day. I wanted to leave the job but I had already left many jobs. If I left the job my parents would be very unhappy with me. I did not want to disappoint my parents.
One day I got a news of my mama's arrival to Delhi from my parents. I was very happy but I did not know about his condition. I got shocked when I saw him in a poor condition. I was going through a hard time in those days. I did not show my frustration to any member of my family. I was unhappy even in my office because of a lot of burden. I wanted to tell my senior HR Executive about the burden but I knew, she would not understand at all. I met my friend who was working in Genpact. I took advise from her and told me to follow the time management. I did that. The next day I had to conduct the test of 13 software engineers. I did the task very well. I was very happy. I went to my friend and thanked her over the solution of time-management.
I could not carry on with time-management longer because I had got very much upset. My Senior HR Executive was a rude lady. She was never ready to understand the problem. I did not want to discuss with her over the problem. Once when she was checking all the employees' individual details. She caught a lot of mistakes of mine. She asked me to do all the employees' files again. I started doing all the week. She would ask me, how many files have you finished so far? I told her, I have finished only 40 files. She asked me to do as soon as possible. I wanted to tell her I can finish all these files very soon. It would take some days to finish. One day she told me, If you don't finish all the work today you might have to stay at night in the company. I could not resist my senior HR Executive because it was my fault for which I had to pay this. I could not go back my home that day. My madam had told the office boys to get me dinner at night. I kept on working till the next morning. I did not wink my eyes at all. I did not want to sleep till I finished my work. I had much work left even now. I was thinking about finishing the files but I could not finish very soon. The next morning when my HR Executives came to know that I had been working constantly without any sleep. They asked me to stop working and gave permission to go back to rest.
I went back my home and met my mamaji. My mamaji was looking much more cheerful than earlier. I had a chat with him for some time so that I could make him feel ok. I had a sound sleep that day because I had been awake for more than 24 hours. The next day I went to my office. My madam asked me about my work. I told her that I finished some files. When I was not able to finish some left files. She asked me, if you don't finish these files very soon then even on Sunday you have to come for finishing. I told her that I can't come because I have some work at home she spoke to me, I don't know, once I have spoken to you to come it means you must have to come on Sunday. I could not refuse my Senior HR Executive. I could not finish my files even on Sunday because there were many files to be done. She asked me about my task on Monday. I told her that I could not finish. She spoke to me to stay one more night in the office for finishing the files. I spent my one more night again in the office. I could not finish the files again. It was 26th January the next day. I was unhappy with my work. I was not able to decide properly what to do and what not to do? It was better for me to leave the job because I was stuck in a big problem in the company. I knew that my Senior HR Executive would not understand anything. I went back to my office to tell my Senior HR Executive about leaving the job. My Junior HR Executive asked me many questions but I did not answer any of her questions. She made full and final for me, whatever was deposited in the company handed over to me. I went back my home and told my parents about leaving the job. They got very sad to hear the news.
MY MAMAJI (MY MATERNAL UNCLE) : ->
My mamaji used to stay with us. My mama was a very nice man. He was an inspector in BSF (Border Security Force) . He was very much happy earlier. All of a sudden something went wrong with him. He got very frustrated and depressed. He became physically and mentally sick. He was in his unit. He decided to go back home. When he reached home he was totally broken from the heart. He would not talk to anybody much more. He would like to remain alone all the times. He was not taking interest in anything. He lost all his interest. He got jaundice. He did not know where all his happiness has gone. He saw a number of doctors but there was no any positive response for him from any side. He spent a lot of money on his treatment. He got so many poojas performed but nothing good happened. My mama decided to go to Delhi for his treatment. He saw a small ray of hope in Delhi. My mamaji was sure if he would visit Delhi he must be ok one day. He reached Delhi. My father had informed all of the members in family about mamaji’s arrival. I got very happy because I was about to see my mamaji after a long time. My happiness knew no bounds that day. The moment I heard from my father that mamaji was very serious I got very sad. Tears would well up in my eyes. For a moment I felt that the earth had slipped from my feet. The next day my mamaji was about to come. I went to my office. I was thinking about my mamaji all the day long. When I reached home from the office, I found my mamaji lying on the bed. He grew very thin and lean. All the veins were appearing clearly from his hands and legs. He was not looking in a good condition. I wanted to say namasty but I could to say to him. I was totally broken from the heart. The uneasiness was blowing in my mind. I was not able to understand anything how to solve this problem. I saw my cousin sleeping. I thought that he must have not been feeling well. I went into washroom I washed my hands and legs. I went up on terrace. I was watching the whole sky. There were many stars twinkling in the sky and the moon was shining among them. I heaved a sigh of relief. I came down to eat my dinner. I asked my mom “did mama ji and bhaiya take dinner or not? My mother speaks to me they have taken their dinner now you take your dinner quietly. I ate my dinner and went to bed at once. The next morning when I woke up I found my mamaji was awake. I said to my mamji good morning and he told me good morning son. I asked him “how are you feeling right now? “he said I am not feeling well right now. I am feeling very weak. I asked my mamaji “what about your illness? he spoke to me it is a long story I would tell you later on. I asked my mamaji to take rest as much as possible and take good diet for health. Have a great time with us and keep on laughing because the laughter will keep you fit, having said I went to my office.
There was something going on in my mind. I was not working properly in my office. I would divert my attention from the work. I would be taken to task because of not working well in office. One day my madam asked me “Why are you so confused? What is wrong with you? I did not speak to madam regarding anything. I thought that I should work properly otherwise I will be sacked very soon. There was a big problem with me and the other problem was with my mamaji. I would not generally be in my senses those days. I would reach my home by 9.30 p.m at night. My father would ask me “Where have you been so far? I would tell my father I was with my father having a conversation on English. My mamaji did support me a lot. After some times there was a smile on his face. He would start to laugh and make us to laugh. He would narrate us so many entertaining things. Seeing him cheerful I was very happy again. My mamaji would speak to me “Why are you so disturbed? Nothing wrong will happen to you. Everything will be ok gradually. You keep on working hard. Don’t expect anything in return. Having heard all the words from my mamaji I got very cheerful. My confidence return to me once again.
Every day I would talk to my mamaji much regarding Army, Navy, Air-force and BSF. He was very active earlier. My mother would tell me about mamaji how he struggled in his life. My mamaji had a large family. Mamaji’s parents died when there was no one to hold the responsibility on the shoulders. My mamaji was the eldest son in the family. His turn came then to handle the responsibility. There was nothing to eat during those days. My mamaji’s family was in a bad position but he never accepted defeat. He was as firm as rock. I feel proud of my mamaji because he is a nice human being. He never hurt anybody’s feelings and emotions. He was recovering from his illness gradually. My mother loves him. She would better take care of mamaji. She would give the medicines on time and a good diet. She would buy some fruits everyday for mamaji. One day my father took him to a fakir baba at night. The baba asked my mamaji about a lot of precautions but my mamaji had already followed a lot of precautions now his condition was not ok but he thought that let’s see what happens now. My mamaji agreed this time. Baba asked my mamaji “Come some other day before 9 O’clock in the morning with some materials. They came back home now the address was not fully confirmed. After some days my mamaji asked me to go to that place with him. One morning I was having a sound sleep all of a sudden my mamaji woke me up and said to me let’s go to the fakir. I took a bath and got ready within five seconds. I asked my mamaji to take breakfast then we would leave. My mamaji was not fully able even now to walk properly. He was feeling very weak. He was walking very slowly from the home to Auto stand. I thought that it would be worse to go by bus to that place. We made up our mind and decided to by an auto-rickshaw. It had been a long wait to hire an auto in reasonable rates. We asked many auto-drivers to take not more than 40 rupees. My mamaji knew the fare from munirka to andheri mode. After a long time one auto-driver agreed with us and was ready to go. When we reached that place my mamaji was not sure about the address. We were just roaming from one place to another place without the proper address. We saw many mosques and entered. Nobody was able to tell us about that fakir baba. My mamaji would tell me about his structure, he is very short, he comes early in the morning, he cures the patients from jaundice. There were so many questions asked regarding that baba. We entered a wrong mosque by mistake. When we asked a man regarding the fakir, he was telling us he also knows how to cure from the jaundice. When we asked that man “Do you really know about curing from the jaundice? He got furious with us and walked away. He was pretending himself to be a great hakim. I was accompanied by my mamaji. My mamaji was very worried and restless. He was not understanding what to do in this difficult time. The auto-driver who took us to andheri mode knew a man who was very good at curing from the jaundice. He took us there. We met him. He was a vegetable seller. He advised my mamaji to follow a lot of precautions about jaundice but my mamaji had already followed. He had no any other alternative to do except this. My mamaji agreed and we went back home. On reaching home we met a baba named “Bulbul”. He assured us that he is considered as one of best babas in his society. He was a jolly kind of baba. He was very fat and short. He was sitting on the laid mat down on the floor. He was talking to mother. We came in contact with baba through a person who plastered our rough wall. That man said to us that he knows a baba who is very good at curing from jaundice. I made a sense that he would be one of the cheats but the next moment I convinced myself that he may be a good baba. Let’s try him at last. My mamaji and me both sat in front of him down on the floor. He was looking very good from outside but I didn’t know how sincere he was from inside. I asked baba a question ‘Do you read the palms? He said 'no' to us. He asked me to bring some rice, laung and masoor ki daal then he would tell me about my problems. I took the money from my mamaji and went to market. I reached my home and asked baba “I have brought each and every thing. He mixed the rice with laung and masoor ki daal. He closed his eyes and began to chant some mantras in his mind. I thought that let’s see what he says now. When he opened his eyes I asked him Baba tell me about my problem. He told me “Boy you are lost in yourself and in a deep sorrow”. The world has gone over for you forever. I said to him Baba you are right.
He told me he can make me fine but he asked for a few materials without which it was not possible to make me fine. I asked, “What are the materials? He began to explain me about the materials. A big piece of red cloth and two lemons. He told me about the expenses of all these things. It is just for 175 Rs. He convinced us that he is not taking any fees from us it is just for the materials. My father agreed with him. My father asked him about mamaji. He told he will take at lest 450 Rs. for that. My mother said to my father that if mamaji gets well soon there is no loss in paying such a small of amount. Babaji told me let’s go my home I show you my home where it is. I went his home with him. I was there at his home for one and a half-hour. He was boasting that he has cured a number of people so far. He was proud of himself too much. I came back my home I told my mamaji about his doings. I assured my mamaji that he is a cunning baba. My mamaji was already aware of such kind of babas for a long time. We made a fun of him too much. That very night he came my home with his materials but I was not at home. He asked my mom about me but my mother told him he is gone somewhere. He kept on coming my home later on but Whenever he would come my home I would be somewhere else. One day he reached my home when I was at home. He was with his all materials that day. He started performing his mantras on me. He covered my back with a red piece of cloth and he made me cut a lemon into two parts with a sharp knife. He read some mantras and finished very soon. He told me, you would get well very soon, don’t worry about that. He left my home after doing all this. He never had a visit to my home afterwards. My mamaji did not get well after we got all this done by that baba. My mamaji was a little bit better than earlier. He adjusted himself. He started keeping himself very happy. He had to go back to his unit after a few days. The day he was leaving for his unit he was a little bit upset because he was very much grateful to us. My mother gave a great care to him. I also helped my mamaji stay happy. I did not demoralize my mamaji at all. I love my mamaji too much. It was Sunday he had packed his luggage and was ready to go. I had to go for my interview to barkhamba road. I told my mamaji if I do not reach soon then gudu would see you off at the railway station. When he left the house our home seemed very lonely and deserted. He gave his unit phone number to us. I told my mamaji I would ring you up some other day. I was sure that my mamaji would reach his unit quite safe but something wrong happened to him. He was robbed fully and thugs beat him badly. He was very weak that was why he was not able to fight with the goons. He had been lying unconscious in a hospital for many days. He broke his leg. When the police found him lying senseless on the road. They took him to a nearby hospital. The police got my mamaji photograph printed with his body personality in the newspapers. They wrote a case of his being found unconscious on the road. One day my father came to know about mamaji that he is admitted in a hospital. My father asked my brother to dial the number of his unit. When my brother dialed the number of unit. My father got to know that he is admitted in a hospital of noida. My father went to the police station to get to know about him. After a long time my father got the news of his being admitted in a hospital by the police. My father rushed to the hospital and recognized him over there. My father asked to the police regarding my mamaji that he is my wife’s brother please discharge him as soon as possible. My father settled the matter and brought him back home in a critical situation. When I reached my home I found my mamaji very weak and thin. His left leg was plastered. My father rang my mamiji up and said, everything is ok here I have brought him back home you don’t need to worry about him. The next day my cousin came our home and he wanted to take father back home but we did not allow him to do so. He did not agree with us. My father asked him, let him rest here for some days. My mamaji told us you have already done a lot for me but now I don’t want you to do much for me. I don’t want to trouble you any more. I have to go back because mamiji is there to take care of me. Having said he and his son left home. My mamaji is at his home now with his family. He must not be very happy but I wish him to be happy again. May God cure him very soon. My mamaji had turned 52 and wanted to take retirement because of not being ok.
He went back to his unit instead of taking retirement from the BSF. He was in his unit with his poor condition. One day my father got a call about mamaji's death. Everybody was shocked to hear this sad news. My mother st |
Pushkar Bisht
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