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Herbert - Poem by Bill Mitton
Whilst cleaning out a stable
A was about to light me light
When a voice behind my shoulder
Said “It’s rather cold tonight”
“How do you do”, he said “I’m, Herbert”
then he give his foot a stamp
“I expect this has quite shaken you”
He was right! …A nearly dropped me lamp.
For a start he’d no right talking
A mean he were a Bloody Horse!
And secondly he had real a posh voice
E’ made me sound proper coarse.
“Well” a said “am gobsmacked”
am am not sure what to do
a talking horse named Herbert
A you sure that, that was you?
“Of course not, don’t be silly
But I’ll tell you what you missed
You see that pig behind you
Then he whispered “Ventriloquist”
Well a give the Pig a reet good stare
But he never blinked an eye.
“Herbert art thou takin piss”
and the horse he said “I try”
So it is you that’s bloody talking
But isn’t that’s against the rules?
the Horse just looked straight at me
and you could see him thinking “fool! ”
Now that’s a matter of opinion
As to who’s allowed to talk
I mean you humans just have two legs
But you still allowed to walk.
OK OK I said, a take your point
I suppose it’s really up to you
But for all them years not one horse spoke
Now suddenly “how do you bloody do”
A’ said hang on just a minute Herbert
How come you picked today?
Oh it was by way of an experiment
Just to see what you would say.
On reflection though a little rash
Perhaps not the thing to do
Mankind is just not ready yet
If I am to judge by you
Well you’ve blown you cover big style
Of that there’s little doubt
A talking horse called Herbert
just wait ‘til this gets out
So you met a talking horse did you?
Now who’ll believe the truth
I mean once this conversations over
Think carefully, where’s you proof
The Horse he looked around him
The he eyed the pig as well.
“He’s your only real eye witness
And who’s the Pig about to tell”
Comments about Herbert by Bill Mitton
Poems About Horse
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