Dog Poems - Poems For Dog

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Mary Had A Little Pig - Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Mary had a little pig,
she knew that pigs did grunt
the pig was dressed in leaf of fig
it covered her whole c**t.

Mary had a little dog
the dog would bark and bark.
she moved the dog in with her hog,
she did it in the dark.

The pig awoke first light of dawn,
the dog a little later
one had a craving for pork brawn
so he stood up and ate her.

Now Mary, left with just a mutt,
she missed the little porker,
the dog would always scratch his butt
he was a true New Yorker.

One day when Mary took a bath
the dog climbed in to join,
and then the little psychopath
he groped her in the groin.

So Mary drowned the little beast
and went down to the Farmer,
they'd eaten at their weekend feast
all wieners, but ONE charmer.

So home she went, put on the cap
to take her evening shower,
meanwhile the wiener took a nap
for just about an hour.

At ten, when Mary went to bed
the pig sat near and rested
and one of them, or so it's said
was udderly big-breasted.

So, for the term of Mary's lease
the two got on together,
but then the pig demanded geese
you know, birds made of feather.

Well, that's enough said Mary, NO
this is no farm in Texas,
but said the pig, for me to grow
I must mix with the sexes.

Well, Mary looked and ascertained
the porker was a male,
and needed to be entertained
on an erotic scale.

They compromised, he joined her then
each night inside the tub,
and baptised him and called him Ben,
each night he got a rub.

Please don't assume that Mary would
do what you won't put past her,
she'd been to private school and could
avoid such a disaster.

What helped of course was bubble bath
it covered all temptation,
she'd had a chemist do the math
had asked for an equation

where pheromones would simply drown
in seconds in the bubbles
this all occurred in Germantown,
they never had no troubles.


Comments about Mary Had A Little Pig by Herbert Nehrlich

  • Rookie Allan James Saywell (4/29/2008 6:39:00 AM)

    Yes Herbert this will surely rufflel some feathers my fine feathered friend pity the so called teachers are all gone to bed

    AJS (Report) Reply

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Poems About Dog

  1. 1. Mary Had A Little Pig , Herbert Nehrlich
  2. 2. Happy Dog 3 , Flying Lemming
  3. 3. Your Dog , Francis Duggan
  4. 4. My Old Dog Named Puddles That Can'T Hold.. , Ted Sheridan
  5. 5. The Pros And Cons Of Marital Dependency , Ted Sheridan
  6. 6. Old Joe The Black Cattle Dog , Francis Duggan
  7. 7. Some Ruff Conversation , Patti Masterman
  8. 8. Dog Love , otteri selvakumar
  9. 9. His Dog Is A Man's Best Friend , Francis Duggan
  10. 10. The Dog Wonders , Pradip Chattopadhyay
  11. 11. A Famous Dog Story , Francis Duggan
  12. 12. The Dog Running , Sadiqullah Khan
  13. 13. Dragon Dream Monostich , Chenou Liu
  14. 14. An Indian English Poet And His Tryst Wit.. , Bijay Kant Dubey
  15. 15. Cat And Dog , Walterrean Salley
  16. 16. Two Dogs , gajanan mishra
  17. 17. Dog Is Not Dog , otteri selvakumar
  18. 18. Dog Kiss , otteri selvakumar
  19. 19. Why...Why... , otteri selvakumar
  20. 20. The Dog And Your Man , RIC S. BASTASA
  21. 21. The Neglected Dog , Denis Martindale
  22. 22. The 'Poem A Day' Project ~ Day 257 , Flying Lemming
  23. 23. Wasted Kiss , otteri selvakumar
  24. 24. Stray Dog , Gangadharan nair Pulingat..
  25. 25. Just A Bit , Ima Ryma
  26. 26. Thatched Hut. , Gangadharan nair Pulingat..
  27. 27. A Girl From A Little Town , Jolanta Gradowicz
  28. 28. Lucky (The Lucky Dog) : , Kim Robin Edwards
  29. 29. Prize Winning Poem - Dog Tale (United St.. , john tiong chunghoo
  30. 30. We All Think Alike (Free Flow) , David Darbyshire
  31. 31. Sex Bite? , otteri selvakumar
  32. 32. Donkey, Dog And Master – A Very Gentle F.. , Raj Arumugam
  33. 33. That Quick Little Brown Dog , RIC S. BASTASA
  34. 34. Dog Friendship , otteri selvakumar
  35. 35. To The Lady With A Dog , Atef Ayadi
  36. 36. Taking My Dog For His Walk , Kaila George
  37. 37. The Rescue , Amy Cadler
  38. 38. If I Had A Dog , Ray Mather
  39. 39. Polka With Me, Mastiff , John W. McEwers
  40. 40. Supper For One , Richard Allen Beevor
  41. 41. Cinderella And The Dog , Herbert Nehrlich
  42. 42. Walking The Dog , Kaila George
  43. 43. Contemplation 3 , RIC S. BASTASA
  44. 44. For Ball , otteri selvakumar
  45. 45. The Dog And The Cat , Juan Olivarez
  46. 46. I Am Not My Dog Dorling , otteri selvakumar
  47. 47. Dog Lesson For Anchors , Cynthia BuhainBaello
  48. 48. I Do Like His Dog , Francis Duggan
  49. 49. Stone Dog - Stone Bench , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  50. 50. Mike , Robert William Service
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