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Shortcuts - Poem by gershon hepner

You can’t hurry love, they say,
but shortcuts may be taken,
I’ve found whenever I make hay,
and rarely am mistaken.

Memories that aren’t repressed
will give far more delight
than those which, held close to the chest,
give you and shrinks a fright.

Platitudes are useful for
a person who won’t drink
and is inclined to be a bore
when he attempts to think.

Poetry is rarely fun
except for those who write it,
all its words sound overdone,
all poets are benighted.

It’s better to be funny than
to write a poem, and
a woman is what no man can
sincerely understand.

Inspired by Janet Maslin’s review of Stephen Colbert’s “I am Am America (And So Can You!) ” (“It May Be a Boo, but You Can Read It, ” NYT, October 8,2007) :
Books are for pantywaists. Or at least that’s how “Stephen Colbert, ” the excitable commentator played to rock-star perfection by Stephen Colbert, viewed them before he became a published author. Now comes the flip-flop, as Mr. Colbert brings the gale-force power of his promotional talents to the hawking of “I Am America (And So Can You!) , ” a booklike object with his face plastered on its cover. Books are still for pantywaists, but now they’re for souvenir-seeking denizens of what is modestly called the Colbert Nation. The fans are primed because the energy level of Mr. Colbert’s television show is soaring. “The Colbert Report” — with a title that’s eponymous, the way Mr. Colbert prefers everything — currently beams with irrational exuberance. The show is sharp and innovative in ways that could have followed it to the coffee table, but that hasn’t happened. The full-monty Colbert television brilliance doesn’t quite make it to the page…. “I Am America (And So Can You!) ” certainly has its moments. (“You Can’t Hurry Love — but you can certainly take the shortcut. Instead of paging through Match.com, try flipping through the family photo album.”) They expand upon the Colbert persona, that of a self-loving loudmouth perched on the famous fine line between stupid and clever. The book is divided into chapters on big topics (“The Family, ” “Religion, ” “The Media, ” “Race”) and stresses the exclusive Colbert pedigree of its thoughts on each of them. “You won’t find these opinions in any textbook, ” he says, “unless it happens to be one I’ve defaced.”…
The “Sex and Dating” chapter also heavily emphasizes science, since Mr. Colbert is in some ways the Tom Lehrer of his day. Mr. Lehrer’s sharp satire and erudite academic stunts, like his classic musical rendition of the Periodic Table, are forerunners of Mr. Colbert’s subversive whiz-kid humor. “I often think back fondly on the memories I haven’t repressed, ” the book says in this sneaky spirit. When it refers to the American family as “a Mom married to a Pop and raising 2.3 rambunctious scamps” or to a cat named Professor Snugglepuss, “I Am America” gets lazy. The same goes for a sophomoric crack about why books are scary: “You can’t spell ‘Book’ without ‘Boo! ’” And this book is capable of better witticism than: “Now I’m not the smartest knife in the spoon.” But it doesn’t take the smartest knife in the spoon to understand the point of this undertaking. If “I Am America (And So Can You!) ” had nothing but its title, its Colbert cover portrait and 230 blank pages instead of printed ones, it would make a cherished keepsake just the same.

10/8/07


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Poems About America

  1. 201. Shortcuts , gershon hepner
  2. 202. No Coup D'État In America , Hebert Logerie
  3. 203. Our Children Are Our Future , Terence George Craddock (aft ..
  4. 204. Christmas Reservations , Donal Mahoney
  5. 205. A Bucket And A Tent , Donal Mahoney
  6. 206. Reasons Why: Pt.4: Pledge Of Allegiance .. , Corey Threet
  7. 207. Death Of The Middle Class , Ray Lucero
  8. 208. Obamaism , Antonio Liao
  9. 209. Zzzzs - 6 , JOE POEWHIT
  10. 210. America Is The Land Of The Free , Juan Olivarez
  11. 211. America Is America, The United States Of.. , Bijay Kant Dubey
  12. 212. Ramona's Reality Tv Shockers! , Ramona Thompson
  13. 213. July The Fourth, 1917 , Edgar Albert Guest
  14. 214. The Head , Edward Kofi Louis
  15. 215. Long Live America , Antonio Liao
  16. 216. The Voice Of America , Francis Duggan
  17. 217. Pagkalaay , RIC S. BASTASA
  18. 218. 6 Days Of Spring Break , Edward Kofi Louis
  19. 219. The Pencil Drawing , nimal dunuhinga
  20. 220. Help Is On The Way , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  21. 221. Long Ago, My Parents Were Illegal Immigr.. , Donal Mahoney
  22. 222. My Parents Were Illegal Irish Immigrants.. , Donal Mahoney
  23. 223. 2008 American Presidential Election Poem.. , john tiong chunghoo
  24. 224. America , Dan Brown
  25. 225. America Has Been Bribed , Rm.Shanmugam Chettiar.
  26. 226. Those Feelings , RIC S. BASTASA
  27. 227. If The Statue Of Liberty Could Talk Abou.. , Dorothy (Alves) Holmes
  28. 228. War Poet , Tom Zart
  29. 229. Tom Zart's 52 Best Of The Rest America .. , Tom Zart
  30. 230. Without An American Heart , Bijay Kant Dubey
  31. 231. America, America , Edwina Reizer
  32. 232. Thank You, America! , Nhuan LeXuan
  33. 233. America The Land Of The Free , Terence George Craddock (Spe ..
  34. 234. America Great Again , Randy McClave
  35. 235. Who's Storing The Mind , delilah contrapunctal.... ye ..
  36. 236. America Cries , Edwina Reizer
  37. 237. The Reactionary's Defense , Robert Rorabeck
  38. 238. We Are America , Brandon Smith
  39. 239. Africa Of My Dream , Efe Benjamin
  40. 240. Mighty America , Chandrashekar a posy poet
  41. 241. Land Of The Free , Jamal Brown
  42. 242. Dear America , Winston Harding
  43. 243. Why Hate America , jackie compton
  44. 244. America , Kevin Broken
  45. 245. True Soldier , Madi Lynn
  46. 246. A Tiny Echo Of America , Frank Bana
  47. 247. Don'T Tear America Down! , Winston Harding
  48. 248. Jfk Jr’s Hate America Poem , Robert Founder
  49. 249. Love America , Denio F.S
  50. 250. This Is The World , Marcquiese Burrell
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