You Know What I Wish? Poem by r james sterzinger

III.
I pledge my soul to the deepening dark
To the myth of a quiet death
A dark soft mistress who
I can lie with forever.

Ah, sweet forever dark
Will you be my paramour?
Will you embrace me?
Hold me, love me?
Convince me?
That God is as dead
As you are?
My last great romance?

I have had it with all
The rest:
Lovers
Muses
Wives.
I am a ruined man.

II.
I have become old
Gray and soft.
My middle sags toward
My shoes gravity
Has taken
Effect.
I spend most my time alone.

Now i crawl into library corners
Reading with thick bi-focals
The New York Times Review of Books.
Most of my conversations
Are to myself
I am content with that.

I have no cellphone-
Who would i call?
I dance around blasphemies
F-words, mundacity,
I prefer a good cup of tea
And Frost or Hall
Or Haydn's Paukenmasse
Not company,
Not love.

How could I please a woman
Perhaps as a listener
Not as a lover.
What worked once
No longer works
As well.

I.
You know what I wish
I wish I could stare in a beautiful
Woman's eyes
Just one more time.
And trust, really trust again.
You see I am a romantic with
Nowhere to go,
With nowhere to go!