Within Poem by Nathanial Pagan

Within



To grow in darkness
To know nothing else
Feeling only blackness
Within¾
Sight and sound
Blurred by rage
Pain forever consuming
Fear forgotten and lost
Unable to know comfort
Seen as a demon
And feared for it being true
Death surrounds but cannot consume
For it is I who creates
Creates the pain of death

Fault lie not on me
But blame is given
To those whose sin
Has cursed their descendants
And has sent hellfire
Felt by me and only me
For I am one of these
The children, the descended
From that vicious murderer
That sinful father
For that hated killer
I pay the unwanted debt
These sins are unforgiving
But there is hope for forgiveness
From what is within:
Blood, spilt
Hate, undeniable
Anger, unsatisfied
Mercy, not given
Vengeance, taken
Grendel, within

Yet, even though black
Is the heart of mine
Ancient honor remains
Extinguished are the fires
Sent from hell by justice
Handed out by the owner
Of the black heart, me
Removing the monster
Is the task I have
With hands of fire, hands of light
My hands, the winners of the fight
Between my inner selves
The darkness and light

The fighter is known
As that wolf, that lone wolf
That Beowulf within
It dwells inside and fights
The demon it knows all to well
With teeth and claws
Flesh shredded and bone cracked
Blood dripping rhythmically
And only that Beowulf
Can clean this stain
On my eternal soul
This stain named Grendel
Grendel, a monster who feeds
On rage and hate, violence and blood
Grendel who only has life
Amid the foulest stench
The stench of death

Thanks be to the Beowulf
For the fight is won
The battle is over
And the giver of death
Has received his end
And with that end
So does begin
A new life
One of hope
Of love and health
A life free from fear
Free from the Grendel
Within

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
This one was also written back in junior year of high school.
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