Withdrawn Poem by Tess Connor

I was doing so well, everything was going so smooth
I was living in the moment, I’d hidden the razors I use
When I got suddenly struck just out of the blue
With a truckload of hate; a bomb I can’t diffuse
Every beat of my heart and each breath of my lungs
Are filled with envy of what I should have become
Wish I was cheerful, wish I wasn’t high-strung
Then I could live life and maybe become someone
With this truckload of hate hanging above my head
Try to get rid of it but worsen it instead
Feels like I’m walking in a minefield where paths aren’t easily read
And I gotta be careful with each step I tread
I can’t do anything right, any good without wrong
I seem to be cave-diving with no oxygen tank strapped on
Hoping I don’t get stuck in some place I don’t belong
Hoping it doesn’t become worse, I’m already withdrawn