Learn More

hasmukh amathalal

Gold Star - 18,721 Points (17/05/1947 / Vadali, Dist: - sabarkantha, Gujarat, India)

With Her Presence


I stood motionless
With sullen and worried face
She was there in grave
Love, beautiful and brave

I visit her daily
To feel close and really
She whispers in ears
Alley her fears

'Are you really happy'?
She anxiously asks with worry
'Yes, but not in reality'
I miss you in totality

I met an early fate
Feel bad to relate
I sense about peace
You be at an ease please

I forcefully stop tears
But very difficult to bear
Her absence
I weep the face

Are you crying?
She is inquiring
No, no I am alright
I am moved slight

I place fresh flowers
With fragrance to offer
Show to her with assurance
That I am pleased with her presence

Submitted: Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Edited: Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Topic of this poem: poem


Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (With Her Presence by hasmukh amathalal )

Enter the verification code :

  • Gold Star - 18,721 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (7/23/2014 2:58:00 AM)

    mournful and sincere but needs something more

    Keith Faherty16 minutes ago
    the emotions are real but the peice itself is suffering from cliche` format and phrasing. the rhyme scheme hurts the message as many of the rhyme couplets are too expectable and others, too forced and out of place. in general it is very hard to convey important, especially personal feeling emotion in a tight verse. try to loosen it up and use very unique and personal ways to express ideas that easily fall into phrases that are too convenient or overused. practice expressing even the smallest and simplest of ideas in a way that only you can- a way that you can feel no one has ever used the same expression before.
    Comment +1


    Hasmukh MehtaLess than a minute ago
    that is beauty of poem... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 18,721 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (7/23/2014 2:38:00 AM)

    a poem of always


    Alan Green 'Guppyman'2 minutes ago
    the poet tells of the power that is of thier chosen faith for a love everlasting (Report) Reply

Read all 5 comments »

Trending Poets

Trending Poems

  1. The Saddest Poem, Pablo Neruda
  2. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
  3. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  4. Winter Solstice, Jacqueline C Nash
  5. Invictus, William Ernest Henley
  6. Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, Dylan Thomas
  7. Fire and Ice, Robert Frost
  8. A Smile To Remember, Charles Bukowski
  9. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  10. A Question, Robert Frost

Poem of the Day

poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti

A little while a little love
The hour yet bears for thee and me
Who have not drawn the veil to see
If still our heaven be lit above.
Thou merely, at the day's last sigh,
...... Read complete »

   

New Poems

  1. Death death death, gajanan mishra
  2. Season Of Great Joy, RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  3. He Is a Virgin, Cheryl Joy Amarga
  4. Days, Michael P. McParland
  5. She Found Home, Cheryl Joy Amarga
  6. Early Learning, Denis Martindale
  7. Dancing The Night Away, Michael P. McParland
  8. Young Voices, RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  9. Why Wrtite About Love, Cheryl Joy Amarga
  10. Damn The Man, Michael P. McParland
[Hata Bildir]