survi sharma


My thoughts lay printed on sheets of paper.
stored in the drawer of my mind.
They are organised, neat,
nothing out of that place.

They can't be touched by outside's strangers
filled with danger and cruel intensions,
I am the only one with the key.
To this infinite drawer with ideas.

But, sometimes a foreign gust of wind comes,
it rattles and shakes the knob of the drawer,
each day getting stronger and stronger,
closer and closer to freeing those papers.

the enemy, the wind is a master of uncovering
of daintly covering out of my papers
like dandelions on a vast field,
to blow and disperse the seeds to unknown areas.

Submitted: Monday, July 08, 2013
Edited: Monday, August 12, 2013

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  • Rookie - 21 Points Raabia Tabassum (9/29/2013 5:51:00 AM)

    Good. I wish you all the best for the contest. Do take time to read my poem.

    http: // (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Anamika Jalan (7/25/2013 1:12:00 PM)

    mindblowing and heart sizzling piece of writing
    a very talented and awesome poem to read (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,995 Points Bri Edwards (7/18/2013 10:30:00 PM)

    out of that place. [i would write out of place....or...out of its place]
    intensions, [the spelling is intentions, at least here in u.s.; we do have the word tension(s): aren't languages difficult! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ? ]

    AND: am i being a pest? ? as for the last four lines, especially the first two of the last four:

    the enemy, the wind is a master of uncovering
    of daintly covering out of my papers
    like dandelions on a vast field,
    to blow and disperse the seeds to unknown areas.

    i'm not familiar with daintly, though i know daintily and dainty. when i typed that preceding sentence my computer unlined daintly in red. and when i googled daintly i was confused by what i read.
    if you want to know more of what i dislike about those four lines, please ask me. sorry if anybody doesn't like what i just wrote.
    AS FOR THE CRAFT AND MESSAGE OF THE POEM before the last four lines. i thought it was fantastic. i liked the comparison to a drawer etc. i'm glad a wind blew the poem my way. thanks for sharing. :) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,289 Points Ken E Hall (7/11/2013 3:33:00 AM)

    Original look at the inner mind of self only the strong willed will keep the order from being blown astray...regards (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 261 Points Nasarudheen Parameswaran (7/10/2013 12:31:00 PM)

    Well, the words of the poets are like seeds for future(so said P.B.Shelley, a revolutionary romantic poet) .I was checking your key; then found a poem.Very interesting one.Please write more. (Report) Reply

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