Willed Out Poem by Magdalena Biela

I live vis-à-vis.
I see you every morning
naked
through your wide opened windows.
If you saw me,
you'd smile,
so I hide.
I study you.
I count the women
you wear every night
and I mark those
who gain their right
to open your morning windows.
I know your true face
while you are alone.
I even saw you crying
after you loved
a woman who just left.
I saw all yours masks, because
one day
you forgot the attic windows
opened.
You must climb all
those stairs alone
only to choose
who you want to be?
I think that
only three days
in this last year
you lived without any mask.
Then one same woman
would come to visit you.
Only then
you would close the windows,
all of them.
And draw the curtains,
all of them.
And the others would leave,
all of them.
She would come
backwards
straight to you
but she'd be willed out
by how deep
she'd have loved you
had she not known you
so well...
so bad, actually...
Don't love!
Wait for me
to be reborn
and find you again.



Finland,3.03.2003