Who Was I Kidding Poem by Rowdy Solomon

A plague of pain suddenly spread

Throughout my body, mind and soul

It made me strain to the point of vessels

Busting in my eyes, so I cried red

It came upon me last night when

I thought nothing of some words said to me

And....

Words that weren't said to me

Now, I have realized words are just words

And actions are what I need to listen for

And that is why I am hurt...

I could end here and it could be enough

But allow me to widen this gaping hole

In my heart for all to see

It's punctured anyway, so I might

As well tell the story as I fade away

Her life is set in 'stone' and she

Threw the ones she didn't need directly at my head

I was shackled by passion, bound by admiration

Seduced by her smell and held captive

By her caring so much for me

Yet, that is all over now, but

I was never let free, though she unchained me

Why did I stay? Why did I imprison myself again?

Why did I put myself through this?

Questions, I have many... answers

I have none along with love, joy and peace

I guess I'm ugly, underserving,

Repulsive, gross, but also...

Easy... easy to maintain...

Easy to satisfy and put to the side

Easy to hide and manipulate

I will never have someone to call my own

I am not favored in the category of a significant other

It's over now. She left me alone because she was never alone

I was an augment, extra, an attachment that just looked good

But could only last for a period of time

I knew it was too good to be true....

Hmph, who was I kidding?

Me.