While You Weren'T Looking Poem by Stephen Carey

While You Weren'T Looking

Rating: 4.5


While you weren’t looking,
I was.
I was looking at you.
I was smiling at your smile.
I was laughing at your laugh.
I was falling in love with you.

While you weren’t looking,
I wanted you to.
I wanted you to look at me.
I wanted you to smile at me.
I wanted you to laugh with me.
I wanted you to love me too.

While you weren’t looking,
You
Became my everything.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Greenwolfe 1962 28 May 2008

Most poets will agree with this formula to instant success in poetry. Have a singular clear simple thought and drive it home with a repeated line. Hopefully one of uniqueness and merit. This line is not unique but it is meritorious. The formula is sound and does work here. The writing contained a bit of determined emotion that was communicated to the reader. This adds to the poems quality. Again, nothing special, but nothing to lessen the poem. A 9. GW62

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